Moo
Well-known member
I've been doing well lately. I mean REALLY well. So far this year I've done so many things I've never done before or thought I could do. I felt like I was making progress.
Anyway so today I had to pick up a prescription from the chemist which I've only done once before a few years ago. I was nervous when I walked down to do it. I could feel knots in my stomach and my throat starting to close up. I knew if I spoke my voice would be shaky but, in keeping with how I've been doing this year, I went in anyway. When I went in I felt the most sick with nerves I ever have. I stayed for about 15 seconds then went straight back out. After this I figured it was ok... my plan was I'd sit in the empty park/field nearby for 10-15 minutes to calm down and gather myself so I could go back and try again.
That didn't happen. My breathing went crazy and I felt like I was about 10 seconds away from fainting by the time I sat on a bench to calm down. I honestly wanted to give it another go but it was too obvious I'd been crying so I didn't want to make eye contact with anyone. I think I had a panic attack which is really strange because I don't think I'd ever had one before. I've gotten anxiety symptoms before (sometimes pretty badly) but I'd never felt as out of control as I did earlier. It was really scary.
I feel like the most pathetic excuse for a human being right now. I hate myself. I'm going to either try again tomorrow :
: or get someone else to pick up the prescription for me if I can. It was too small and busy in there.. I had to get out. The worst thing is how I've tried SO hard this year and I end up alone in a park sobbing because I can't even do the simplest of tasks.
Thanks very much for reading. Does anyone have any advice or maybe stories so I don't feel so alone? If not it's ok. I feel a little more calm just for getting it out there.
Anyway so today I had to pick up a prescription from the chemist which I've only done once before a few years ago. I was nervous when I walked down to do it. I could feel knots in my stomach and my throat starting to close up. I knew if I spoke my voice would be shaky but, in keeping with how I've been doing this year, I went in anyway. When I went in I felt the most sick with nerves I ever have. I stayed for about 15 seconds then went straight back out. After this I figured it was ok... my plan was I'd sit in the empty park/field nearby for 10-15 minutes to calm down and gather myself so I could go back and try again.
That didn't happen. My breathing went crazy and I felt like I was about 10 seconds away from fainting by the time I sat on a bench to calm down. I honestly wanted to give it another go but it was too obvious I'd been crying so I didn't want to make eye contact with anyone. I think I had a panic attack which is really strange because I don't think I'd ever had one before. I've gotten anxiety symptoms before (sometimes pretty badly) but I'd never felt as out of control as I did earlier. It was really scary.
I feel like the most pathetic excuse for a human being right now. I hate myself. I'm going to either try again tomorrow :
: or get someone else to pick up the prescription for me if I can. It was too small and busy in there.. I had to get out. The worst thing is how I've tried SO hard this year and I end up alone in a park sobbing because I can't even do the simplest of tasks.Thanks very much for reading. Does anyone have any advice or maybe stories so I don't feel so alone? If not it's ok. I feel a little more calm just for getting it out there.
