AvPD and Crush. What's your story?

Hi. I'm ... well call me rain. And i have a crush. It's been awhile since i last had one. 9 years ago?

I like it when his around. I have notice him a few times before but at that time didnt care pretty much, just another schoolmate of mine.

But then i noticed him having a few glance on me and so i started getting anxious but i still dont see him that way.

And then i started seeing him a few times in a week and noticed that hes kinda cute although he is not that tall. and then i realized i like seeing him.

This morning i saw him and notice for the first time that he has this slight mustache on his face, it was kinda cute and it fits him. He had a cool attire too. He completes my day, lol..

and its really annoying cause im only limited to watching him. I dont even know his name. When his near i get very anxious and cant act well. And i dont want him to know that i like him. So i stay away.

I have this yearning in my head that maybe at least we could be friends and its really annoying cause i know it will never happen. NEVER.

I cant even talk to people that well. How much more to him! I might die of heart attack.. this is so sad and annoying.

And if ever we do get to know each other, im afraid he will not like me, or be turned off. I am a boring company. People like people who they are comfortable to be around with. It hurts..

I will try to change... Lord God in heaven, please help me change.. changing will be the hardest thing we psychos could do..

Whats your experience with your crush? Please share them!
Well at this stage it's not a crush or even infatuation, i don't think. And i might be barking up the wrong tree entirely. But there's this girl who works in the supermarket where i get my groceries, and i regard her as quite attractive (actually she reminds me of this famous tennis player elina vesnina, whom i've always liked the look of, and have seen her in the flesh once, playing tennis). And i love her beautiful long straight hair (esp when it's down). So it seems to be just a physical attraction (on my part). But she has on occasion flashed her lovely smile at me (it felt "above and beyond" what her job entails). And once she entered the store, and i happened to be nearby, and we made somewhat long-drawn-out eye-contact - not really sure what that's about. Who knows?

But as with all things women (& me), it's endlessly complicated. I'll say no more, but refer you to my recent thread --> This is why people stay single