Avoidants Or social phobics are you angry

[Silentknight]

I'm 18yrs old and right now I'm still trying to hold on to what little optimism I have left that maybe someday soon I will start improving with the help of my friend but I've begun to notice that when I start to think of my future and how I might be I see myself not only alone which I'm semi ok with but angry. Angry at people for never giving me a chance I have one friend in life and she has shown me that if people were to just have the patience and kindness to allow me to slowly warm up to them and become more comfortable with them I can make a good friend yea I won't be the socible or talkative friend not by a long shot but I will be the friend who will listen and care about any problem you have big or small but no noone but this girl has given me the time of day and the more I think about it the more angry I get at the world. What just because I am the most quietest person you will ever meet makes me a bad person or unworthy of your precious ****ing time it hurts and it makes me angry to know just how ****ed up most people are. Maybe I'm just starting to see people as they really are? Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[Darryl]

Hi Silent Knight,
I went through this crap, even my wife gave up on me!
Just with what you've written you remind me of what I thought and hoped for.
This is my experience and opinon so I hope it helps!
I noticed no one person really know yourself except you. I would show one side of me, and close friends who I thought knew me through good times and bad, didn't really know the person deep down afterall.

So concentrate on yourself, you need to get yourself strong to handle all situations.. good and the sneaky bad ones.

I would say strongly see your Doctor have a chat and maybe they can make a appointment with a Psychologist for you.
Now there the people who understand and Their friendly safe people who are interested in helping you (better than any friend I ever had)

Other people on this forum will have a different opinion to mine which is great, the more information you have the better.
Nice to meet you
Darryl

 

[Mikefly]

SilentKnight you just gotta forget what people think and get tough you'll start speaking more and more as you gain experience. Just keep pluggin' away trying to improve everyday and think positive and things have a way of turning out. You seem young and when your young is more important to have a support group liike you say this girl is to you. I was always a quite sensitive kid who got angry at the world too.

 

[bigrob]

I feel you bro.

 

[Silentknight]

Hi Silent Knight,
I went through this crap, even my wife gave up on me!
Just with what you've written you remind me of what I thought and hoped for.
This is my experience and opinon so I hope it helps!
I noticed no one person really know yourself except you. I would show one side of me, and close friends who I thought knew me through good times and bad, didn't really know the person deep down afterall.

So concentrate on yourself, you need to get yourself strong to handle all situations.. good and the sneaky bad ones.

I would say strongly see your Doctor have a chat and maybe they can make a appointment with a Psychologist for you.
Now there the people who understand and Their friendly safe people who are interested in helping you (better than any friend I ever had)

Other people on this forum will have a different opinion to mine which is great, the more information you have the better.
Nice to meet you
Darryl

Thanks for understanding I've recently tried the psychologist but that went horribly since she had my mom sit in the same room while I was suppose to talk to her even though I'm 18 and her answer to all my problems was "go get a job" like that was the magic cure that's when I realized most people including my mom don't care to understand my problem they just want me to get over it "just smile" the say "**** you" I say. I won't let the avoidant I am stop me from reaching my dream to become a paramedic but I do feel an anger and resentment rising in me for general population.

 

[dooby-duck]

I get more frustrated these days than angry. I know what I wan't to do but have a self imposed block on it.

 

[Darryl]

Thanks for understanding I've recently tried the psychologist but that went horribly since she had my mom sit in the same room while I was suppose to talk to her even though I'm 18 and her answer to all my problems was "go get a job" like that was the magic cure that's when I realized most people including my mom don't care to understand my problem they just want me to get over it "just smile" the say "**** you" I say. I won't let the avoidant I am stop me from reaching my dream to become a paramedic but I do feel an anger and resentment rising in me for general population.

Yep, that's not gonna work!
Get another appointment! you need one on one with the pyschologist.

People close to you woun't understand Avpd....How complex is it, I don't fully understand it, and I have it!
Get professional answers from professional people.

Regards Darryl

 

[coyote]

Does anyone else feel this way?

I was angry at the world for a very long time, because I felt like an outcast but didn't understand why the world had cast me out. And I was angry and frustrated over all the things I hadn't achieved, or had lost, or had ruined.

I have finally begun to understand and accept that it's not the world's fault, and that I am the one with the problem - the personality disorder - which has caused so much grief.

I'm working on forgiving the people who I was so angry at before.

I'm also working on forgiving myself.

More importantly, I'm working on trying to overcome the barriers that have kept me from being a part of the world that I so much want to be part of.

 

[Luthien]

I'm 18yrs old and right now I'm still trying to hold on to what little optimism I have left that maybe someday soon I will start improving with the help of my friend but I've begun to notice that when I start to think of my future and how I might be I see myself not only alone which I'm semi ok with but angry. Angry at people for never giving me a chance I have one friend in life and she has shown me that if people were to just have the patience and kindness to allow me to slowly warm up to them and become more comfortable with them I can make a good friend yea I won't be the socible or talkative friend not by a long shot but I will be the friend who will listen and care about any problem you have big or small but no noone but this girl has given me the time of day and the more I think about it the more angry I get at the world. What just because I am the most quietest person you will ever meet makes me a bad person or unworthy of your precious ****ing time it hurts and it makes me angry to know just how ****ed up most people are. Maybe I'm just starting to see people as they really are? Does anyone else feel this way?

You have a wonderful friend! You are VERY lucky. You know, at your age, to have a friend that is good and kind and understanding is a very rare thing. I know it's hard to see, but most of the other kids at your school are miserable, and most of them probably don't trust their friends as far as they can throw them, that's just the nature of highschool! People aren't very good to each other until they are out of the institution and learn to stop being huge brats. Unfortunately, it can even carry over to college, but definitely to a lesser degree (as long as you're not pursuing relationships with frat boys and sorority girls)

Please don't judge the entire world on your experiences as a teen. When you're a teenager, you live in a bubble and sometimes it really seems like the whole world is like your town or your school, but they're not. When I was in school, I had no friends and the people who seemed like maybe they were my friends were really mean to me. I was really weird and different from everyone. The nerds didn't like me because I had colored hair and dressed crazy and the metal-heads and "alternative" kids didn't like me because I liked Pink Floyd and was obsessed with reading and drawing. I never fit in and I thought I'd never find anyone like me. But then I dropped out and started hanging out in the city where I met this girl who was a punk and with her I went to Philly and met what seemed like all the outcasts of many different schools like mine. All these people who dressed like me and were weird and vegan and rode bikes and read books and accepted me for being me!

The only thing you can do is be yourself regardless of what the jerks might do or think. Let them judge, that's their problem (people who go around being nasty and judging everyone else are only feeling bad about themselves and trying to make up for it). Someone on here has a great quote by Dr. Seuss that goes: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." If you are confident that who you are is good, then you don't need to be angry, and if you REALLY like yourself, then one friend is plenty. And your confidence will bring people to you, whether you be shy or not.

 

[AGR]

Yes I am the most angry person I have ever meet,I thinks its mostly heritage from my fathers side,that combined with being alone,people being disrespectfull and I taking it,until I snaped,I did some really really dumb **** in the past,picked fights I had no hope in winning and then I realised where I was,how did I got there,how could I have done that,I actually cried a lot that day,now I try to just let it go,its hard but I made a lot of progress from before.

 

[Illusions]

if people were to just have the patience and kindness to allow me to slowly warm up to them and become more comfortable with them I can make a good friend yea I won't be the socible or talkative friend not by a long shot but I will be the friend who will listen and care about any problem you have big or small but no noone but this girl has given me the time of day and the more I think about it the more angry I get at the world. What just because I am the most quietest person you will ever meet makes me a bad person or unworthy of your precious ****ing time it hurts and it makes me angry to know just how ****ed up most people are. Maybe I'm just starting to see people as they really are? Does anyone else feel this way?

I'm the same age as you and I understand completely. I felt angry that things had to be so difficult for me and that being quiet was a huge sin (back when I was a lot quieter, people actually disliked me for not talking much, despite the fact that they very well knew I was shy -- needless to say, I was pissed at their intolerance).

Don't forget that you, like me, are still young and have lots of time to cure your AvPD. It ain't healthy to be frustrated and angry at the world all the time, so channel your energy into trying to beat it instead.