Attachment issues...strange

[CheshireCat]

I don't know if this connects to social anxiety, but I have some attachment problems. I def. have social anxiety but in addition, I feel comfortable with only my immediate family and my b/f completely. If I have days off, I ususally spend it with them. I have other friends, although having been avoiding a lot of them, due to my social anxiety. I feel bad because on saturday my friend wants to hang out, I said yes, which doesn't happen too often because of SAD, but then I found out my b/f has saturday off as well. He says it is fine for me to hang out with her, but knowing he has it off gets to me. I wonder in my mind constantly if he is unhappy about it, and I would feel a lot better if he was working or had other plans to do. If he had something already planned in his mind to do with me, it would really make me feel bad. I am so close with my b/f that I feel if I don't spend a lot of time with him he would feel sad or think that I don't want to see him. I mean this all sounds weird to me. It seems unethical in one sense, but it really happens in my mind. I think of all little schemas. "Well maybe if I see my friend for a few hours this day, she won't feel left out, I won't be as stressed, my b/f will be working and I won't be affecting anyone's life."

I don't want to be like this. I love my friend, and I want to see her. I'm just not as comfortable with her as my b/f and he understands me more regarding SAD. I feel like I'm being selfish.

 

[Locco1988]

have u looked into co-dependance? dont worry its not as bad as it sounds lol its not a disorder at all!, more of a personality trait which can become unhealthy. my mum thinks shes got it, and shes perfectly happy.
but co-dependace, incase u havent heard of it can be best described as a problem with people pleaseing, where you feel inless you do this and that, your not going to get this and that eg if you dont see your boyfriend all the time, he will loose interest, therefore u over compensate and see him every spare minute you have. that just an example, because co-dependace is on such a braod spectrum that i think everybody could tick a few boxes, its when u tick 75% or something u have a problem.

co-dependance aside, you see your boyfriend alot anyways yeh? so maybe this weekend hang out with your mate instead, it will be good for you to do something different and mix with someone maybe ur not sooo comfortable with, just to mix it up abit. if your boyfriend doesnt mind anyways, then why not? maybe even have a drink or two

but defo have a look at co-dependace if u feel ur feeling alot more guilty than you should be, coz it sounds u feel more guily if you didnt see you boyfreind to me, maybe im wrong....?