Asserting your personality

[emre43]

I really want a girlfriend at the moment but I don't have a salary and I can't drive which isn't helpful. I don't know where to find the kind of girl that I am looking for; I'm not into pubs/clubs etc. I have offered my services to volunteer for a charity working with animals close to me but even if I came across somebody there that I was interested in I don't know how I would pluck up the courage to speak to them. If I did approach them I don't know what I would say. I'm fearful of the prospect of approaching them and telling me that she's not single and finally I'm scared of not being able to assert my personality. The only people that know my true personality are my family, everybody else just sees this scared, quiet boy of very few words. Why can I not assert my f****** personality?!?!?!!?!? I needed to do that!

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Talk to girls for the sake of just talking and getting to know someone. It will give you opportunity to practice being yourself without the pressure of asking for the date. And who knows, that could lead to a date.

 

[coyote]

we are doing ourselves a disservice when we try to decide what they will or will not approve of

especially when we really have no way of knowing

better to put ourselves out there and find out

then make adjustments

and try again

 

[KiaKaha]

Here is my half assed advice. I am by no means an expert when it comes to the ladies, but if I were you, I just wouldnt worry about it so much... it seems like you are putting so much weight and thought into finding a girlfriend that its making you terribly unhappy.

Take your time with it, be yourself and dont push it with someone that isnt interested.
Your confidence will boost and you will seem more apppealing. Lighthearted and non serious is key.

Apologies if I havent quite understood what you meant. Feel free to ignore me, just trying to help based on my own meandering experience. Good luck.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

I feel the same way. I know that when I am at work for example, that people are not seeing who I really am. It's a facade and a generic "people pleasing" attitude which makes it seem like I am something I am not. There is a deep, entrenched fear that who we truly are is not good enough for people. Better to just take the plunge and let out who you really are, then at least you can gauge reality better by knowing who really thinks what of you.

 

[new account]

Try and joke with them. If you do end up working at the animal place, say something like "I'm a highly evolved being. I will save all of these animals BECAUSE I'M JUST THAT KIND." When you say the uppercase words, do a twist where only your upper body moves, then if you notice that she is laughing, say "I. WILL. SAVE. THEM." with a pause in between every word while screaming. Keep joking and she will say "why are you always joking", and then you can say with a whisper "I was born on a planet where you have to laugh to survive. If you don't laugh, then the insects in the air will not cheer up and they will kill us."

Also, you could try a technique where you act slightly mean to her and say things like "This dog didn't get purchased today. IT'S YOUR FAULT. YOUR ABILITY TO SELL ANIMALS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO MINE. YAAAAAH!" and chop something like a karate guy.

I don't know if that technique will work for you, but that's what I would do.

 

[emre43]

Try and joke with them. If you do end up working at the animal place, say something like "I'm a highly evolved being. I will save all of these animals BECAUSE I'M JUST THAT KIND." When you say the uppercase words, do a twist where only your upper body moves, then if you notice that she is laughing, say "I. WILL. SAVE. THEM." with a pause in between every word while screaming. Keep joking and she will say "why are you always joking", and then you can say with a whisper "I was born on a planet where you have to laugh to survive. If you don't laugh, then the insects in the air will not cheer up and they will kill us."

Also, you could try a technique where you act slightly mean to her and say things like "This dog didn't get purchased today. IT'S YOUR FAULT. YOUR ABILITY TO SELL ANIMALS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO MINE. YAAAAAH!" and chop something like a karate guy.

I don't know if that technique will work for you, but that's what I would do.

If I could get my natural personality across I would be banterous towards the girl, I like banter. I just really need to overcome this fear...