i can't handle everything i'm going through. right now my main struggle is with ocd, and i cannot stop my recurring unwanted thoughts no matter what. i can't get them out of my head these days, because they keep finding ways to pop out again. what's happening is that i'm a mtf transgender, and i cannot allow myself to think of crossdressers. i'm strict on gender, and i can't allow myself to think of it, but if it's in real life, it doesn't bother me. i also can't allow myself to make predictions to what will happen on the next episode of my favorite tv show, because i think there's a chance i'll be right, and then i think i'll have no reason to watch it. i think right now i'm so afraid of thinking the predictions, that i keep replacing those thoughts with the crossdressing thoughts. i can't stop. help!