Vincent
Banned
I'm curious what people think about art, being an artist and social anxiety.
I have come to realise that its my calling.
I know that sounds pretentious.
Whats interesting to me, and something of a personal revelation, is that, any kind of activity by myself, I crave others and feel the pinch of lonliness. But, not so when I'm creating in some way. I spent all day in my room yesterday, however, drawing and painting, making sculptures out of various things, I felt a kind of contentment. I didn't feel I needed to be anywhere else. I felt inside the moment. Perhaps because I am so used to feeling powerless in life, feeling constrained by my fears, yet, in that space, I was in total control. Each stroke of the brush, each word of a poem; my own reckoning.
There is a pervassive anxiety, even then, negative apprasials of myself and what I was making. I heard somewhere, that anxiety is the enemy of creativity. Then, I found that my anxiety was negative, so I harnessed it and used it. I painted a wooden butterfly returned by my ex a dark brown.
A poem I wrote at a time when I felt an extreme of hostility to an individual with no cause. A gothic picture of withered self, pouring blood from eyes and mouth. A stark yellow background, the poem titled: Around the Bubble, about sufficating inside the bubble of positivity this person posessed.
Anxiety may keep artists from knowing themselves. I know it did for me. I only rediscovered this from personality typings. The Ennegram, my type.
I find that I just let the art take itself, I find the best work comes out as being unplanned, toying with materials, the creative energy, is not rational, its not logical, analysis and creativity are opposites. I think its hard to be an artist, because you will be judged on what you produce, things that are very personal, very self expressive. Also, being into personal fashion, risks judgement. Having a unique style.
Another key point for me is that, really, given the choice I would prefer to work predominantly individually. When the work is creating from within, any other input is a compromise on ideas and orginality. But yeah, thats a pretty interesting discovery, because all this time Ive been beating myself up about being a loner, but actually, to a point, its a preference and disposition.
A series of books that has been really transformational are by Julia Cameron, an exceptionally brilliant author and artist. The first I picked up and had alot of trouble putting down, Letters to a Young Artist. The other two, The Artist's Way and Walking in this World, I have yet to read.
I really would like to hear what anyone has to say about art and anxiety.
Thanks,
Vincent.
I have come to realise that its my calling.
I know that sounds pretentious.
Whats interesting to me, and something of a personal revelation, is that, any kind of activity by myself, I crave others and feel the pinch of lonliness. But, not so when I'm creating in some way. I spent all day in my room yesterday, however, drawing and painting, making sculptures out of various things, I felt a kind of contentment. I didn't feel I needed to be anywhere else. I felt inside the moment. Perhaps because I am so used to feeling powerless in life, feeling constrained by my fears, yet, in that space, I was in total control. Each stroke of the brush, each word of a poem; my own reckoning.
There is a pervassive anxiety, even then, negative apprasials of myself and what I was making. I heard somewhere, that anxiety is the enemy of creativity. Then, I found that my anxiety was negative, so I harnessed it and used it. I painted a wooden butterfly returned by my ex a dark brown.
A poem I wrote at a time when I felt an extreme of hostility to an individual with no cause. A gothic picture of withered self, pouring blood from eyes and mouth. A stark yellow background, the poem titled: Around the Bubble, about sufficating inside the bubble of positivity this person posessed.
Anxiety may keep artists from knowing themselves. I know it did for me. I only rediscovered this from personality typings. The Ennegram, my type.
I find that I just let the art take itself, I find the best work comes out as being unplanned, toying with materials, the creative energy, is not rational, its not logical, analysis and creativity are opposites. I think its hard to be an artist, because you will be judged on what you produce, things that are very personal, very self expressive. Also, being into personal fashion, risks judgement. Having a unique style.
Another key point for me is that, really, given the choice I would prefer to work predominantly individually. When the work is creating from within, any other input is a compromise on ideas and orginality. But yeah, thats a pretty interesting discovery, because all this time Ive been beating myself up about being a loner, but actually, to a point, its a preference and disposition.
A series of books that has been really transformational are by Julia Cameron, an exceptionally brilliant author and artist. The first I picked up and had alot of trouble putting down, Letters to a Young Artist. The other two, The Artist's Way and Walking in this World, I have yet to read.
I really would like to hear what anyone has to say about art and anxiety.
Thanks,
Vincent.
