Article in Time magazine.

[MelissaQu]

I was reading an article in Time Magazine on that show "The Singing Bee." The title of the article is: "No Talent Required. The real musical challenge on TV's cringetastic karaoke shows is defeating embarrassment." Here are a few quotes from the article:

"Karaoke-and the performance culture it stands for-is not just about ego and entertainment. It's a way of playacting the skills of a networked world, where shyness is a handicap. In the YouTube era, overcoming shyness is the equivalent of killing a mammoth in the Ice Age: an essential survival skill and milestone achievement to be celebrated in picture and song."

"It boils down to encountering a social problem or taboo, facing up to it and getting past it by laughing."

What do you all think about that? Should we all just laugh at ourselves and get over it?!

 

[sidney]

yea if we just laugh im sure it will make us feel slightly better but i still go home and beat myself up about it after it happens but sum social problems cant be solved just by laughing so wat do we do with those ones??

 

[MelissaQu]

I don't know about you, but I can't laugh at all about any of my social problems! People who write such things in an article like that obviously don't know how severe it can be. I'm sure when people go on TV they're at least a little nervous, but to them, it might not be such a horrible thing since they might win something. But anyway, there are different levels of shyness.

 

[YankeeBob]

"Killing Shyness"

Very good question.

Another man I know told me that "he did not think there was anything wrong with shyness". This came up when I mentioned on the phone this web site to him.

I called him back later that day because I was curious why he felt that. He reminded me of a conversation we had about three years ago when this came up.

So there are different views about what to change and whether its necessary.

For me, learning to change was very difficult. It was like walking through wet concrete up to my waist for days.

Why? Because it felt so strange, so awkward.

But you know its worth it.

That's where I am at today.

Be well.

 

[jessnz]

I dunno...when I feel embarrassed or anxious, the last thing I feel like doing is laughing. Instead i feel sick and like i need to hide.
I might try it next time, but the "ugh i want to die right now" feeling is so overwhelming I can't imagine it working for me.

 

[YankeeBob]

Suggestions

Jess,

Here are some "tools" to try . I have heard them from other people and found them to work for myself.

When the sense of awkwardness comes on try closing your eyes and say to yourself:

1) Ok. I have this problem. Its stronger for me than it is for others.

2) This feeling will not kill me, but if I isolate (avoid others ) it will become a stronger habit.

3) On a scale of 1 to 100 , I would score this as a ......(fill in the space )

4) Take a deep breath.

5) Then visualise how you will handle the situation ( like a golfer visualises hitting the ball down the middle of the fairway BEFORE they even go up to the tee ).

6) Then try doing what you visualised.

Yes it will be awkward. Yes its hard. But its possibly a habit that you have which is overpowering your normal behaviour.

Some of this might help. If it does, then practice it each day. And pass it on to others if it works for you.

Take care. Be well.

Your American friend in Australia.

 

[sabbath92003]

No talent required

from http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1657812,00.html

On American Idol, calling a performance "bad karaoke" is the worst insult the judges can hurl. It is also the greatest compliment they can bestow. Idol viewers, after all, have made the caterwauling audition episodes the highest-rated, except for the finale. In their eyes, karaoke is the Mae West of entertainment: when it's bad, it's better.

It was only a matter of time until some attentive reality producer figured out a way to remove all the bothersome competence from Idol and isolate an extract of 99.44% pure bad karaoke. Enter The Singing Bee on NBC and Fox's knockoff, Don't Forget the Lyrics, the No. 1-- and No. 2--rated new shows of the summer.

The shows' viewer appeal is simple: they're family-friendly, good-natured and easy to play along with. Harder to explain is what draws the parade of contestants to screech, warble and croak in front of millions, without the aid of melon-ball shooters. Is it all for the money? Isn't it humiliating?

How you answer the questions has a lot to do with when you were born. If you are over 35 or 40, you were probably raised to guard your privacy and hide your slipups. But reality TV, Web 2.0 and social networking have accustomed people to public performance. Karaoke shows, which reward correct lyrics, not proper pitch, fit the new American belief that lack of talent is no reason not to command an audience. The Singing Bee's slogan--"You don't have to sing it well, you just have to sing it right!"--would make a great national motto.

Karaoke--and the performance culture it stands for--is not just about ego and entertainment. It's a way of playacting the skills of a networked world, where shyness is a handicap. In the YouTube era, overcoming shyness is the equivalent of killing a mammoth in the Ice Age: an essential survival skill and milestone achievement to be celebrated in picture and song. There is no greater go-to movie scene today than the one in which people throw inhibition to the wind and perform: the climactic Super Freak dance in Little Miss Sunshine, the Age of Aquarius singalong in The 40 Year-Old Virgin.

Why are karaoke shows painful? Because they make you cringe. Why are they fun? Because they make you laugh. Cringe humor--the humor of awkwardness and faux pas--may be the defining element of early 21st century pop culture, dominating entertainment from Borat to Knocked Up to The Office. It boils down to encountering a social problem or taboo, facing up to it and getting past it by laughing. Likewise the singalong shows: their cathartic message is that none of us are above it all. No, you don't have to sing it well, America. In fact, we'd prefer if you didn't.

 

[PhantomPod]

My favorite person, Stephen Colbert, said this in a recent article, and it's one of my favorite quotes now, because I think it's very true.

"You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time - of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid."

It's so true because really, laughing puts you at ease so much, that it certainly lessens your social fears.

 

[random]

Thank you, YankeeBob for the helpful tips.

For years I thought I was 'just real shy' or as I said 'socially backward' . I felt like apologizing to people around me for not being able to function. My family was always baffled by my hiding/cringing behavior. In hindsight I see I had at least two different 'flavors' of fear. One kind of embarrassment is due to inexperience and low self confidence. This kind gets better if you can make yourself try and try again. This kind gives you a payoff for toughing it out - taking a risk. You can't tell at the time that you are improving but if you keep at it you can look back over a few years and see how you have learned to do more and some things don't bother you as much. I can say for example that I used to lock every muscle in my body and stare intently at the paper in front of me to 'endure' a meeting at my place of work and would be physically sick when it was over. And now - having suffered through so many and tried many many times, and failling at times, I learned the rules and can now lead a meeting of that kind - they rarely make me nervous now.

The other 'flavor' of embarrassment was harder and I never got better no matter how much I tortured myself, read books, practice, took risks etc until finally, at the age of 43, I went to a psychologist and switched to a more positive, encouraging church (my former church was nice but not effective at giving me hope and encouragement). THe two working together help me fight that second part. And to my absolute amazement - I am finally improving!!!! ACTUAL improvement. I wanted to encourage those who read this to give yourself credit for trying and give yourself time before you see improvement (hard times actual can help you improve) and I hope you won't think there's no hope if you aren't seeing improvement - I believe we can all get past this - it probably means you may need to try another strategy. It can be done.

 

[ash_2001]

I say this calls for a Karaoke night! :wink: :lol: