Are you ashamed of your Socialphobia?

[Neebo]

Hi was just wondering if anyone here is ashamed of their SA/SP? Because only my mum and dad and grandma know I have it and also including my two sisters of who of course know I have it. But I have lots of other relatives too,such as aunts,uncles and cousins etc. I have three cousins in Wales who are all in their early twenties they are all confident out going and have lots of friends They are also all in a relationship,one of them even has a child. And then here I am no friends,no girlfriend or relationship So I wouldnt dare tell them about my problem for fear that they'd turn against me or disown me And that goes for other members of the family who are not immediate. If I told them I feel they'd be ashamed of me and not understand So I wouldn't dare tell them What makes it worse is that my aunt and uncle asks me how things are going,questions like "Do you go down the pub for a drink with your friends from college" And I'm secretly like "HA,what friends if only they really knew!" I have to make out like everything is hunky dory and normal and it breaks my heart Was just wondering if there was anyone in the same sorry predicament?

 

[black_mamba]

I'm not really ashamed of my social problems but I did used to try and cover up my lack of friends by pretending I had loads. Now the more people I speak to the more I realise its fairly common to have very very few friends.

I'm a bit ashamed to say that though because it means I needed validation for my lifestyle from other people - something I'm very much against.

Oh well, we live and learn.

 

[Angie_05]

Hmmm...I don't think I'm ashamed of my SP but I think I am afraid to tell certain people I have it because I know they wouldn't understand and I am too sensitive to hear their criticism.

You shouldn't feel bad about your relatives asking you questions like that. I don't think I'd be afraid to say, "No I prefer to do other things than go to the "pubs"."

 

[aaaiiihhh]

I use to be embarassed as well, but now when people ask me if I have any plans over the weekend, or what I did over the weekend, I say "nothing." (Because most of the time, I essentially did nothing - maybe played video games, went to Target to buy toilet paper - it's nothing of note. That's my life and I enjoy it.)

Some people are actually jealous when I say that because they're busy with kids or they're like "hey, nothing, why don't I do that more often." And they're not kidding either. It's almost like something goes off in their head, "Hey, doing nothing is kinda nice."

Maybe i'm just at a point in my life where I don't want to pretend i'm some chick that hits the town every night anyways.

And I too would have to agree with Angie_05 - that's a good answer indeed.

 

[maggie]

i'm not ashamed that i have social phobia...but i haven't told anyone.. it's because i don't want them watching me for signs of it and notice even more than they probably already do...all of my weird quirks 8O .....what i am ashamed of, though, is what i haven't accomplished at this point in my life because of the social phobia :roll:

 

[rfnatboy]

Im not ashamed most people have no frame of reference to understand . So you cant take there opinion to personally .

 

[clairet]

Im not ashamed most people have no frame of reference to understand . So you cant take there opinion to personally .

I like your way of thinking! If you haven't been through something, and you are not a particularly emotional person how could you begin to understand another persons emotions. Therefore, why would other people's opinion of you be more valid than your own opinion of you (since you have more knowledge on the subject).

However, I am ashamed of being an SP cos like Maggie, I feel I should have achieved more - and other people expect me to achieve more.

 

[rfnatboy]

If you want to achieve something you can it will just take more willpower than the averge joe or jill . But at the end of the day aleast for me nothing is worth the up hill strugle . Ultimatley you are in control of your
content level .

 

[Fredscars]

i'm not askamed of it at all...i prefer for people to know that i have SA (assuming it is SA) then for them to just think i'm a bit wierd andcan't do certain things. I guess i use it as an excuse..which is wrong, but it makes me feel happier..so *shrugs*

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

I'm ashamed of myself, period. I hate everything about myself. :evil:

 

[racheH]

I used to think everyone felt the way I did about social things, and that it was how I was supposed to feel, so I wasn't ashamed about that. I never spoke about it though, because I was ashamed of the intensity of the feelings. No one else showed the agitation I did, so I thought I was just too soft to handle it. Was afraid that people might guess that it bothered me if I even mentioned it.

 

[Bexi]

hi, im new on here. I totally understand the original post tho, i find it so hard to be in a crowd of people, but coz of my age (22), i feel like ppl expect me to b partying and drinking every nite, and i don't, or can't even Does anyone else feel that what is "simple" to other people is a complete chore to u?? e.g going for a drink? xx hope i havent gone on too much!

 

[ColdFury]

I'm ashamed of every aspect of me

 

[racheH]

thoughtless, I would quote you but I agree with absolutely everything in your post! I'm only 16, but already that expectation is there for me too. When I was just 14, a girl embarrassed me in front of my class by making a huge thing of the fact that I'd, quote, "never been pissed". The shockwaves this fact caused makes me consider that our Government's statistics on underage binge drinking are seriously underestimated. Or maybe it's just more common where I live. Either way, I've also no intention to start following the crowd even when it is legal for me.

 

[Danfalc]

Im not ashamed of saying i have it, Ive got used to telling people about it with job interviews and stuff now.But i am ashamed of the way it makes me act sometimes.

Im ashamed because im still up tight with people ive known my whole life and who understand what im going through, and yet i still cant manage to get past my insecurities to be a decent friend back to them.

Im ashamed because it makes me feel sorry for myself alot.

Im ashamed because im a 20 year old guy who needs someone with him to do simple things like go up town and to the job centre ect. :?

 

[Yossarian]

In my head I'm not ashamed of it. I know there is nothing to be ashamed of. Deep down though, in my heart I am. I can feel it bubbling under. I really wish they could sort their bloody differences out.

 

[Loopy_Lil]

Im ashamed because im still up tight with people ive known my whole life and who understand what im going through, and yet i still cant manage to get past my insecurities to be a decent friend back to them.

I agree with Danfalc, I feel ashamed that I can't be open with the people I've known for ages it really sucks and I've lost many good friends over it. I just can't open up to them.

I am ashamed at having SP but I know I shouldn't be in my head I just feel like no one understands (cept u guys) and that I just don't fit in (I'd like to a least fit in a bit not totally)



I'm also 21 and don't go out partying or drinking heaps either
I don't think that is the only fun around although I wish I could go out more and relax a bit

Lil

 

[Hastur]

I'm not ashamed of my SA one bit, I just don't like to talk about it