are we being unrealistic?

[freestylemonster]

When I read about people who want to get over their social anxiety, they always seem to say "I wanna be able to talk to whoever I want!" and I do this too. But when you think about it, not very many people can do this. Most people feel a little uncomfortable when first meeting someone. They're afraid of being judged and whatnot.

I think we expect too much. We think "Oh I feel a bit uncomfortable right now around this person I JUST MET, I must not be over my SA yet!!" But that's unrealistic!

We gotta start being more realistic in our goals. we probably won't ever be "the life of the party" but that's okay because most people aren't! Lets just make our goal to be "average"

 

[Klaus]

I don't want to be the life of the party because of choice and not due to my anxiety.

 

[ljwwriter]

All I've ever wanted is to not feel totally at odds with everyone I meet. To not feel so painfully shy and frozen by fear and anxiety that I break out into a cold sweat when someone says hello. To be able to hold down a job without considering suicide within weeks of starting.

I never expect to be the life of the party. But it'd be nice to be able to celebrate with everyone else for once.

 

[danstelter]

Not everybody is a "life of the party" type of personality. The most important thing, rather than trying to become the greatest and most noticeable person, is to reduce your anxiety so that you can do the things you need to do to live a enjoyable life. The good news is that everyone has the ability to recover from anxiety. Not all people have the awareness, skills, or guidance necessary, however, and that is why many people spend their entire lives living in fear. I successfully manage my condition and can sometimes be the life of the party or the wallflower. I'm more happy that I can hold down a job, have a girlfriend, and interact with other friends.