Anyone agree with this???

[j_brown2]

That we social phobics are like young children/babies who are scared of being alone?

Anxiety is here to protect us from danger, right? Anxiety doesn't want to harm us but protect us!

What does it want to protect us from? Here an example:

I have got to go to uni, Iam sooo anxious and scared to death, going to uni be around all those people, why am I so scared? Anxiety doesn't want me to go there, it wants me to run away, it tries to protect me from being alone! it doesn't want to give me a chance to find out that I will be rejected, not accepted, laughed at... and whatever else is another form or meaning of ending up alone

So there's no way I will go to uni, till I show my mind I can be accepted around people,

Anxiety in itself is weird, what you most fear of happening will eventually happen, it wants to protect me from being alone, but that's just what's happening... coz anxiety is a paradox

Social anxiety is an excuse for being alone, you will never get over this anxiety till you show your mind you can be accepted or that you will not end up alone

The fight is not with the anxiety, show your mind you can be accepted, you can socialize and the anxiety will fade away forever

Sitting in your room and doing nothing about will not make your anxiety go away, not getting ridiculed hurt for years won't make it go away... nothing else you can do than try to socialize to show your mind

Think of it like this, try hard right now- go through the pain the anxiety will cause, it will cause pain no matter- it's not about learning social skills and being free of anxiety than, it's about showing your mind you don't need to fear being alone anymore

You can learn to be the most charismatic person for a year alone in your room but you will still be anxious and forget all your skills the first time your gonna socialize coz of your fears, why? Coz it's about showing your mind you won't be alone... sure the skills will make your confidence go up and your believes about yourself will change a bit.. you will feel more optimistic coz you feel like you have a better chance of being accepted

I know what Iam saying is hard to believe. Why? Coz your mind is protecting you... it doesn't want you to believe this... it's all the time protecting you from ending up alone.. so is it doing right now

But you have to admit it makes sense, doesn't it?

 

[SickJoke]

Monophobia is the fear of being alone. I think social phobia can be defined as simply as "the fear of social rejection, real or imagined." I think it's the emotional pain of the actual rejection that causes the fear.

But I do agree with most of your post. Lots of good stuff there.

 

[j_brown2]

Yea your right monophobia, it's not that Iam scared while Iam alone... I went to wikipedia and had a read about loneliness, coz as I said I tap with EFT on memories where I been in a group of people... I tap on how lonely I felt in the group and the anxiety goes out of the memory

Loneliness is different from being alone, that's the word I meant (Iam sorry English not my native tongue) you can feel lonely in a room with hundred people

What's scaring me is that I read manytimes people who feel lonely develop cancer later in life, or I heard manytimes if someone looses a close one who died they often develop cancer too.

 

[j_brown2]

Thank you sick joke you pointed me in a new direction, yea I always said I tap on how lonely I felt but I kept on yapping about being alone and bla bla despite that not being the same... I was saying Iam doing this (tapping on how lonely I feel$ but based my theory on something else (being alone).

Yea makes sense loneliness is painful to me. I can get in a moment OCD behaviour when chatting online on dating sites, I will not go off till it's 6 am, not eat not
Sleep, but chatting just fuels my loneliness for some reason, like they say you can be lonely around a 100 people, I usually get ****ed then after 2 days I can't take the pain anymore, feel so shitty and hopeless, that I tell myself I will never do it again,

I been lonely evey since i started smoking weed, and around people my loneliness gets just stronger and is more painfull

Anyway eliminating the loneliness feeling around people I felt in my past with EFT works for me, So I will keep doing that lol