any suggestions for improving conversation skills?

[12BhaP]

What's up, my peeps,

I would appreciate it if anyone who has suffered from social phobia and has overcome it, well you don't have to be 100% healed, just a lot better than before, if you could offer any suggestions on how you improved your conversation skills, what worked for you. It struck me that everybody is just so intent on improving their academic and professional skills, but leave out the skill that makes the world go round, communication. I would like to hear from y'all.

 

[Orlando]

Hello, fellow peep!


I think that I am 2.99999945433% healed...I'm not 100% but I'll take it one day at a time.

One thing that I found very helpful was complimenting others. That's how I usually start a conversation or change to a different topic. "Oh, I like that watch. Where did you get it?" "Oh, that was a good speech. I wish I could talk like that." Usually, the people who like to talk a lot will continue the conversation.
However, this can backfire if you use it way too much then it is like you're complimenting everyone for everything. It is like you're not being very genuine. (I am sometimes guilty of this.) It is like everything I say at a party is a compliment. When people meet you, they would like to know something about you....something that they did not know....giving compliments all night really doesn't say anything about you....it just says that you like qualities of other people.....It really doesn't say anymore than that. (and it is really really hard to keep a conversation going if you just use compliments only).... Second, if you encounter another shy person or a person who just doesn't like to talk, then they will dismiss you. They'll answer back with just one sentence or phrase and not continue the conversation. I wouldn't take it to heart thought cause that is what I would do if someone gave me a compliment.

Good Luck!

 

[12BhaP]

Hey Orlando,
Thanx for your reply, I agree giving compliments is a sure conversation -starter, if given to the right person(extravert), but then you have to expand when the questions come back to you, and that's where the problem lies, especially when you don't have a lot of interests, how do you now tackle this problem. I would like to hear from you guys. Please respond.

 

[neddy]

It takes awhile to build up good conversation skills, it is a learned process, many people learn these skills from an early stage but some people are alot older when they learn how to hold a proper conversation. This is something that my counselor pointed out to me. Next time you are in a room full of people try to take note of what the other people around you are talking about. Alot of them use small talk like how was your day, talk about things that are in the news or general things that are of interest to anybody. Just bear in mind that some people are easier to talk to than others, some can come across as being uninterested in what you are saying but the chances are these people are either very shy or nervous and aren't too sure on how to respond. There is no quick solution just need to keep working on it.