Any advice?

Secret_Smile

Well-known member
#1
I'm going out with a group of friends at the weekend to a resturant to celebrate my friends birthday. I'm terrorfied and have been dreading this for weeks now. I'm not good with eating in public places at all (Last time we all went out I didn't eat anything and it took me over an hour to finish my drink and they were all wondering what was wrong with me).
I'm in a group larger than 3 and there are a few boys there as well (Which just makes me feel even more uncomfortable- difficult to explain that one)
I've thought about telling my friends I can't make it just to try and get out of it but I don't want to let them all down.

Does anyone have any tips for facing this type of situation?
Is there anything I can do at all?

Thank you

Secret xXx
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#2
Maybe you shold just let your friends know your condition.

True friends will be understanding. Maybe it will help you out a lot if they know, like that you do not have to worry so much about keeping it to yourself. :?:
 
#3
Sometimes just knowing that as long as I am nice to everyone, and try to smile and laugh then at least you know you left an impression as a nice person right?

Myself I really do not like group settings where we all have to sit down. But I'd rather be eating that way I can focus on something besides sitting there. I know that if I could have a couple drinks that would relax me. But I don't recommend that as a solution to every situation.

This would be hard for me to. And I don't feel comfortable around guys that I don't know either.

But before you know it it will all be over. Maybe you could replay in your mind how you would like for the dinner to go. I know that relaxation works for me until I am in the uncomfortable position then it's close to impossible to relax. But I try to remind myself that they really do not know what is going on in my mind.

Well I probably didn't help much. But I wish you luck. And let us know how it goes okay?

Take care!
 
#4
Hello Secret_smile.

Gosh! It's nice to know someone else feels the way I do!

This is my first post and I wanna say that I know exactly how you feel and what you're going through.

Gosh, I too used to dread any form of "grouping", my hands start to shake and I'm scared other's will notice so I don't eat or drink. I find silly excuses like going to the ladies room, fidgeting in my purse, playing games on my cell and so on.

Usually this lasts for a quite a while, untill I get more comfortable then I'm more relaxed and my muscles aren't so tensed.

My advice is to relax, go with an open mind, stay calm and don't dwell on it too much.

Try breathing, whenever you think about it breath deeply and imagine how you want things to go....I"ve noticed that when I take some form of "precautionary" measure I'm usually more confident.

So try to do something before the weekend comes. IT may be difficult at first, but when you ease in you'll be more comfortable.

Wish you the best...and Do tell us how it all goes. I'm dying to find out! :wink:
 
#5
Hi again....I don't know if this is practicable for your weekend g'together, but I'd also like to suggest taking along someone you're comfortable being around like a sibling or a parent (not too sure about this one though :D )

The whole idea here is to make the scenario as less threatening to you as possible. Think about it. The family member need not stay through the whole meeting. They could even hang around nearby without getting involved.

I always feel somewhat calmer when someone I'm familiar with is around. In some cases I don't even feel all that nervous.I don't get used to it though. but it sure helped me out a lot.

All the best!
 
#6
What I learned from therapy is that anticipation of forthcoming situations is wrong.Healthy people don`t prepare for every day situations.They just step into them.So my advice to you is to try not to think about it.Every time you catch yourself thinking of that birthday,stop!And this a good exercise that will help you also in future.
If u r not able to pick up the glass, then don`t.Believe me, nobody will notice how much you drink.Even if they do, you can always tell them ur not feeling so good and that ur stomach hurts.Or try ordering something you can pick up with two hands (it`s easier) - a cup of warm tea for exmpl.And again, don`t spend the whole evening thinking about the process of drinking.Try this!It can`t hurt! :wink:
 
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