Anxious when alone outside

[Neebo]

I find that when I have to go out to the shops or run an important errand when I'm outside alone I feel really anxious and vulnerable and also feel like everyones staring at me But the funny thing is I find that if somebody accompanies me or goes with me to the shops than my anxiety seems to decrease a great deal sometimes even almost to the extent where I'm almost completely relaxed! I don't know why but I just feel more confident when a family member accompanies me on an errand. I think its because I can talk to them and therefore it kind of takes my mind off other people outside,if you know what I mean? :? But when I have to go out on my own I very anxious and nervous and I just don't know why :? I know it sounds crazy but when I go out alone I feel like people hate me and are judging me Does anyone else feel the same?

 

[crazyfairyx]

Yeah I used to feel like that all the time, I would just play with my phone or text someone, so I would look busy really. It doesn't make much sense but it made me feel a bit better.

Try not to think of everyone as the enemy, just think, they are all out busy with their business, buying food in for the week, getting petrol for their cars, they are just going about their lives, just like you are. I know it's difficult to make yourself think like that while you're in a situation that is making you nervous and anxious, but remember, it is your mind that is making you nervous and worried, and your mind can stop you being nervous. You are in control, even if you don't realise it.

Naomi x

 

[outside_looking_in]

Hi Neebo ... I certainly know how you feel, I used to dread going out alone, whether it was busy or quiet (probably worse when quiet as you feel more conspicuous). Plus I'm spectacularly clumsy and know for sure that people ARE looking and judging as I drop things, trip, fumble with my phone etc!
But recently I've been feeling not so bad -- think maybe it's to do with having dyed my hair red (well sort of plum-coloured) and getting some new clothes, that suit me ... it means I have some external things that help me blend in and I relax so much more! (Though I'm not saying go dye your hair red, unless you really want to )

Also I luv my mobile ... you truly are never alone if you have someone to text or a game to play, though it doesn't do much for my tendency to walk into lamp posts. Maybe I should get an MP3 instead

 

[redlady]

Hi Neebo,
I feel exactly the same, when i am alone i am acutely aware of everything around me. When i am with someone else i am strangely comforted by them and feel very little of the anxiety that plagues me when i am by myself. I agree that the company of the other person distracts you from your thought pattern - which is a blessed relief. I hate it as well that i can't be like that by myself for myself. Perhaps it has to do with feeling that i am worthless so i am not worth it, but for somebody else you can be 'better'.

 

[blubs]

Hi Neebo
I feel really self concious when I am on my own.
I feel more vulnerable.
Its true its just a feeling in yourself though....no one is really noticing anyone else because they are busy.
I noticed this a few weeks ago...because I was waiting outside a shop and noticing people walk past...and I noticed a girl & thought........she looks really self concious like me!
Then I realised that not one other person looked at her or noticed her.....I only had because I could relate to her body language. Everyone else was busy with their own things.
Also I saw the difference in her body language...she walked really fast, looking down and then up, whereas most people were taking their time.
So take your time....why not?, you've as much right to be there as anyone , and no-one is judging you. Generally...I don't think people are that mean.

 

[black_mamba]

Ditto ditto and ditto!

Funny how going for a 5 minute walk and grabbing a pint of milk brings up so many anxieties in me. Travelling alone sucks, but bring along a friend or relative and suddenly its almost like a mini-adventure.

Last weekend I went to the cinema on my own for the first time wondering why I had never tried it before. When I sat down I noticed that my hands were shaking. So thats why I was afraid of it. :lol: