Anxiety Holding Me Back

[Backandforth]

Today was not the greatest day. I bombed a math exam a few weeks ago and my professor decided to give our class two extra credit opportunities for those of us that did poorly. We had to go to two seminars on anxiety; one was math anxiety and the other was test anxiety. I woke up anxious (how ironic) and forced myself to attend both of the seminars and I forgot to sign my name for the second one so I'm only getting credit for one of them. I also had another math exam today which I felt I was a little bit more prepared for after attending the test anxiety seminar. It turns out I was so relaxed that I took way too much time and didn't even finish the test, forcing me to leave five of the questions completely blank. On top of that, because I took so long I was running late for my next class and on my way there I happened to notice someone. I'm taking four classes altogether right now, but one of the classes is an online course and I've never met the professor, but I've seen her video lectures and I really enjoy her style of teaching as well as her seemingly friendly personality. She's actually my favorite professor at the moment. Well on my way to class I saw her in the hall for the first time in person, only she looked like a much more weathered version of the woman I had seen in the videos. She was a hobbling with a cane and looked like she had begun losing huge clumps of hair. My guess is that she's probably going through chemo for cancer. Despite this I heard her telling one of the students that he simply had the best smile. It was one of those moments when all I wanted to do was say screw class and stop to talk to her, but I let my anxiety get the best of me and dashed right by without saying a word.

It's not the end of the world, but it just bums me out that I keep trying to do what I think I "should be doing" and not what I really know I COULD be doing. If I had been a few minutes late to that class it wouldn't have killed me and I could have complimented her and told her how much I really appreciate her class and all of the good things I have to say that I've been keeping to myself.

Do you ever find that your social anxiety holds you back from doing the things that would bring you real inner happiness?

 

[lilmutegirl]

I feel that way all the time. I want to learn about one of my jobs and advance in my position there, but whenever presented with the opportunity to tackle a new challenge, I become anxious and tend to shy away and let someone else take over. I am hoping that when I am done with school, I will be able to focus more on work.

Personally, I still haven't figured out what would bring my real inner happiness...probably because I have been so terrified of attempting anything that could bring it about.

As far as communicating with your professor, maybe you could message her, stating that you thought you saw her on campus while you were on your way to another class, and tell her what you wanted to in person?

Good luck on the rest of your classes!!