Tab said:
Yes I relate 100%. For some reason I'm really anxious about school this year and I've started skipping some classes. I remember 2 summers ago I felt like I needed to get back there and see if I could make it any better than the previous year but it was far from better. This summer I dreaded going back and the everyday I go I have anxiety. On top of that I haven't done any assignments yet because every time I think of them I feel sick. Its really fucked up.
I agree COMPLETELY.
Fuck. I should have graduated (university) last year but i've been fucked up with post tramatic stress and anxiety and depression and now this overwhelming social phobia thing and i totally screwed myself over.
I was seeing a "counsellor" at school but i fuck that up too because i missed too many appointments because i can't leave the house or pick up the phone...
anyways, school technaically started 3weeks ago. i haven't gone to ONE class. i keep thinking that my professors will think im an idoit because i have to take their class again, or the other students will recognize me... Fuck, i'm not even technically registered. I had to petition to even be allowed back into my program, but i can't register because i have to pay tuition. But i have no money and i can't bring myself to go down and talk to my bank and get another loan because i'm affraid of what they'll think... fuck me. IDK what to do. lol
but it's nice to type it all out and see how fucked i actually am.
oh, and no one knows. I don't talk to anyone. if they ask, i lie. I tell my parents i'm fine, and school is fine, and money is fine. i'm very good at putting on an act...
so, i guess that was of no help to you... sorry. i just wanted to say i know how you feel and that i'm looking for the same answers...
xx