Another not so good date

[lonely_world]

I met up with this guy tonight that i've been talking to online for a few days now. We were at a restaurant, and he was the one that was so painfully shy and nervous, and I just kept trying to talk about different things. I may not be the most outgoing person, but atleast I try. He didn't really, which makes me think he wasn't interested in me after all. And again, I was asking all the questions and not getting any in return. Wtf is wrong with me? If i'm so boring, why do people say that I am a fun person to be around? It's already very difficult for me to feel comfortable with people, but then most of them don't even like me, so why do I even try?

 

[obita]

Without knowing too much, I'd say he must have had some interest in meeting up with you because he made the effort to turn up - which is a good sign. Some people are always going to be less talkative but start to open up after two or more encounters. Maybe after a few more online chats and another meet, it'll change.

I know it's a bad feeling but just got to keep trying I think. Sleep on it. Either way it's another experience.

 

[bleach]

You've got it backwards - talking is most difficult when you are trying the hardest. When you aren't trying, conversation flows smoothly, spontaneously, unconsciously.

From a guy's perspective, I try the hardest in conversations when I am talking to an attractive woman - I get too concerned about a million different things, how my voice sounds, how I look, how she will react, and all this other bullshit that crowds out the communicative parts of my brain. It sounds to me like that's what happened on this date. I think you were so focused on your own anxiety that you missed how much more anxious your date was. Anyway it is nothing to blame yourself over, it was just a date, it doesn't mean anything about you.

 

[lonely_world]

I was wrong; he mailed me after he got home and said he really liked being with me. And he said he was nervous, I feel bad for thinking that he didn't try to talk or didn't like me. That's how screwed up I am. But I feel better because we are getting together again tommorow; having coffee, walking around the mall. I'm starting to really like him already alot, maybe too fast?

 

[tiffstar]

That is great. Someone could appear such a complete snob but in actuality really like you....good for you