Anger and Shyness

[lostboi]

I hold a lot of rage inside. Yes I can totally relate. So much anger builds with frustration at not being able to express my self to people and let them see who I really am. All I can do is try to find some creative way to get it out when I'm alone, but even that isn't always enough.

 

[Zipper]

Personally, I believe that much of my social anxiety has come from bottling up and repressing a lot of strong feelings that I have had -- affection, anger, disappointment, fear -- if I were less inhibitted and expressed my feelings more, I don't think I would have the problems I have.

I have had a great deal of anger and resentment bottled up, and just recently I am starting to express it. Now, people who used to think that I had no temper at all are saying that they are "scared of me" -- I think it is just because I have not developed good skills of expressing anger which I believe to be necessary.

Have a temper tantrum and then move on to other feelings -- joy, happiness, etc. -- and don't let the negative feelings fester inside of you.

 

[Hussein]

true dat,

I have to say that shy peeps have it the worse. We are so anxious that we find it hard to say much in front of other people and then we can't stick up for ourselves!

I don't know but I believe that in my case, it may be the result of being under the authority of two older brothers.

 

[thereishope]

yeah, if someone does something to piss me off i won't say anything but i'll get this attitude about me (like i won't look at them, with a sour look on my face). then i'll get home and realise what an idiot i must have looked!!!!

 

[B]

For me a lot of the anger definately came from being bullied and being too scared to fight back. And that was way back when I was just a kid. The frustration from that just kinda snowballed. I was a violently angry teen. I didn't beat up on other people, but I did a lot of destruction to property. Add to the (supposed) inability to defend myself the inability to even carry a conversation. Boxing took care of the first part and learning how to actually relate to other people took care of the second.

 

[knarxed]

Hmm.. you could say I have a bit of an anger problem. The small amount's of genuine disrespect toward me drives me nuts. As others have said, I bottle it in.

I only recently found this out when I went to work. My supervisor was a real pain. Everyone thought he was a jerk. He'd give you the most evil look for no reason. Everyone kept their guard up. But with my shyness and all, the sensitivity to it made me break inside.

The sad thing, is when I see any amount of injustice in my view, it drives me nuts. It's so sad, that even bannings in mIRC chatrooms make me upset.

 

[newshyguy]

y

:evil:

like last year i didnt like getting angry, i thought it was stupid
but recently i say "its ok" if i get angry
sometimes i get angry at other ppl , especially if they let me down and hurt me, sometimes at things that happen

anyone watch Anger Management?????
the best movie

 

[longlivesolitude]

Like most of people here I just bottle my anger up and no one would expect that I would ever be angry. Sometimes when I'm angry I just listen to really loud aggressive music (Tool is really the key when i'm angry ). It's not often that I show that I'm angry and I think you have to be careful to just follow the feeling. I have had some incidents where I was drunk and I got really angry and showed it.. But I'm not sure if that have given me anything but a emberrasing memory.

 

[nedkelly]

I get so worked up around other people, especially neighbours, that i feel agitated towards them(because i am so nervous-like i'm ready to fight feeling) ..like there the enemy(i know there not), . Yet i am a really gentle person any other time. I'm sure they can pick up on it?
I hate being like that, because that is definately not even close to my real personality.

 

[forgetit]

I have never hurt anyone in my life and I never would. I am very careful with other people's feelings.

That's because you are afraid of them, of their reaction if you hurted them and not because you are a "good" person.

We are always afraid of what others think and their opinion is like a dangerous weapon to us, so if we hurt their feelings, "god" (who's this guy anyway?) knows what could happen to us.

Do not confuse fear with goodness. If I could, I would probably hurt a lot of futil and stupid people.

Fear and guilt are dangerous poisons to the "soul" (what is this stuff anyway?).

 

[Faded]

I have this anger - i am very sensitive to the idea of injustice. I resent it when people are not what they should be - decent and good. I hate it when i am put in a situation where i have to defend myself. I find it hard to do and i hate being victimised - i hate them and myself at the same time.

I can relate more on wat Redlady said.

Its Damn true,, im a very angry person,, whats worse? that i put my angry on my siblings ,, especially my younger sister,, i scream,shout and HIT her, and that makes me feel worse than just the bottled up anger. My elder sister thought i really needed Anger-Management,, im calm, but when u make me angry ( offcourse not around other ppl, just at home ) i Turn into a Ballooon,, i wudnt show it infront of my parents,, becuz im sorta yea shy to act like a lunatic. maybe if i just spoke up things wud get alil bit easier.

 

[benihana]

Anger Management is a freaking good movie, by the by, rent it if you haven't seen it. Inviting Jack Nicholson into your home for the weekend might not be the solution, but the movie does provide good reasons not to bottle up your anger.

All this anger stuff is really a problem for me and I would love to find a solution at some point. I believe it really stems from not being able to speak my mind and a frustration forming into anger at myself and my situation in life. It then transforms into sadness at being angry and unhappy with myself and isolation (by holding that anger and reveiling it to everyone else).

Basically, when you're angry it hurts you tens times more than anyone else around. No matter where it is suppossed to be directed, it does a U-E in your mind. Because of this cycle I am trying to make the choice to be patient with my self and others. I ask myself if they are trying to hurt me or just dealing with their own sh** at the moment. IF they are, they need help too, just like me. IF they are trying to hurt me, f*** them for doing it and I don't need that/them.

Sometimes people don't know when they are hurting others and it is our duty to let them know if they are subconciously. This attitude lets us speak our mind, but once again words are hard to become actions.

good luck :evil:
beni

 

[shipost]

A few years ago I was on a bus and some old man was trying to get on and the bus driver slammed the door shut on him and said your to slow fuck off, I was shocked and that really got me mad. Driver must have been stressed or somthing and he drove past my stop and wouldn't go back. I lost it and ended up punching him when I walked past and he punched me back :lol:

thats a day i will always remember :x

 

[B]

I have never hurt anyone in my life and I never would. I am very careful with other people's feelings.

That's because you are afraid of them, of their reaction if you hurted them and not because you are a "good" person.

We are always afraid of what others think and their opinion is like a dangerous weapon to us, so if we hurt their feelings, "god" (who's this guy anyway?) knows what could happen to us.

Do not confuse fear with goodness. If I could, I would probably hurt a lot of futil and stupid people.

Fear and guilt are dangerous poisons to the "soul" (what is this stuff anyway?).

I mentioned this kind of thing on another board and somebody slapped with me a Nietzsche quote. Since I've had it with pseudo intellectual wussbags quoting Nietzsche though, I'm not gonna bother posting it. Another one that bothers me is "I'm a pacifist". This is usually said by somebody who has never been in a fight and is shit scared of physical confrontation. I guess hiding behind virtue is a defense a lot of us use.

 

[loneEAGLE]

I'm the same way. I've never physically hurt anyone on purpose, but I get extremely angry, and I usually keep quiet about it. But in some cases I have let people know that they've pissed me off by making comments(in some cases I find the courage to do this and in other cases I can't)...but most usually I do keep it inside, and sometimes when I'm alone and very angry, I scream to let out my anger.

i find myself doin this shit all the time when im at home alone talking to myself screaming breaking shit butt only when im alone it dont seem to happen around people

 

[the_sullen]

im the same as someguy. its like underneath the surface im a super villian. i cant believe how people treat other people and how the world is run nowadays that it gets me all rev'ed up and i go rants for hours in my garage jus airing it out. yet for the most part in the public im jus the nicest person youd ever wanna meet. always kind and respectful

 

[Vincent]

climb a clocktower with a can of gasoline, a submachinegun and lots of ammo. Set fires on the accessways to where u are. lock and load...

 

[savage_beagle]

deal with the anger or become depressed.

Hi. I now realize that 75% of my depression and anxiety was the result of my anger. I came to this conclusion on my own, as the few doctors i saw since a teen were useless and rushed me out of their office when it came to ''feeling down''. My anger was kept deep down inside and when i would dwell on past wrongs, i would beat myself up mentally , think negatively about myself and others and have lowered self worth. When i had lowered self esteem, i would not take care of myself. Not taking care of myself would mean= eating crappy junk food, smoking too much ciggs, not excercising, drinking too much coffee and soda pop, not sleeping enuff and associating myself with ''bad'' people....shitty negative people becuz as we all know, misery loves company. All of these things became a toxic soup, an endless cycle of harmful things and people to my mind and to my body. The more i continued on this path, the more angry-anxious-depressed....the more depressed--the more i dwelled--the more angry...and so on and on. I broke the cycle. I looked deep down into my mind and asked myself what were the things that are bothering me so much. Slowly came the changes in all aspects of my life. My life is not wonderful..i have much more improvements to go. The thing is, i dont expect perfection, i just saw things that were ''broke'' and i constantly keep ontop of things to keep my mind content and to not slide back into the toxic mess i created as i mentioned before. Please remember that nothing will ever improve in your life if you dont give it your 100 % effort all the time, that things dont magically get better, that you can't sit and wait for just the right moment in time or that a special pill or person will save you from your own personal nightmare. IT IS YOU WHO WILL SAVE YOURSELF. We are our worst enemy, and when we accept ourselves and take care of body and mind, we will then be free of the past...not living for the future, but living and enjoying the present moment. I hope everybody has a very good weekend. :wink:

 

[redski]

Re: deal with the anger or become depressed.

Personally, I believe that much of my social anxiety has come from bottling up and repressing a lot of strong feelings that I have had -- affection, anger, disappointment, fear --

I taught to myself many times that what you said could be related
to my SA also. I think you have a good point here.

Hi. I now realize that 75% of my depression and anxiety was the result of my anger. I came to this conclusion on my own...

This is good advice, I find myself doing sometime exactly what you wrote.

Sometime I get super angry at things or people. So angry that I sometimes
see in red as the saying goes. I look at the people around me and
wonder why I get so aggravated about these things and others don't.
Makes me wonder and think. As I have said before I think it is sensitivity
and taking things to personally.

 

[teandtoast]

i get really really frustrated at work....hold it in...usually bottle things up till i have to have a good cry..at home :roll:

Same here (although not the crying bit lol)
just the stupidest things at work piss me off so much like people on the desks around me eating crisps really loud (is like why dont u close ur mouth before crunching loudly)
sometimes I have to go to the toilet to get away because I can feel myself geting so wound up and angry
luckily I dont show it though and they all think Im very quiet and calm

my family know about it though as used to get into arguments and shout alot though when lived with them ...moved out 6 months ago though and get on alot better with them ....so much better having my own space they used to piss me off lol