Anubis
Well-known member
[Summarized]
Me: I have a really weird question.
Friend: Yea?
Me: Let's say you're in the process of conveying information to someone (for example, something humorous), do you find that you are actively controlling your facial and body language in the process?
Friend: Sure, some jokes require you to make a certain facial expression. But it actually makes for some akward discussion if you're thinking about your facial expressions while trying to talk.
Me: Hmm.
Friend: I've been a SI (Student Instructor) for 3-4 years, and the thing I consistently do to make sure my expressions are right is not to even focus on my face. I talk with my hands. It slows my rate of my speech down so I can actually think about what I'm saying.
After this, he showed me a couple youtube links to people talking in public settings and told me to focus on their hands.
YouTube - How to Read Body Language : How to Tell if Someone is Lying with Body Language
YouTube - Nonverbal Communication, Body Language Expert Jan Hargrave
I was shocked to find that I could actually totally understand what they were saying by just looking at their hands. In fact, maybe more so than their face.
I even researched the anatomy of a hand, and it's amazing how much precision we have over it (as opposed to the head which has half as much bones and hard-to-control muscles). We can even see our hands in real-time to make sure we're making the right gestures. There is no way to do the same with the face, unless you plan on carrying a mirror with you everywhere you go.
So anyway, I took his advice and started using my hands to talk, and now, after 23 years, I can honestly say I have gotten ridden of almost all my SA. The amazing thing is that as soon as I controlled my hands, my facial expressions instantly matched the contortions of my hands. I truly felt like I was conveying my points clearly for the first time in my life. It was so liberating.
So yea, I don't know how helpful this is to you, but if you have the same problem as I do (inability to properly control facial muscles), this might do the trick for you.
Me: I have a really weird question.
Friend: Yea?
Me: Let's say you're in the process of conveying information to someone (for example, something humorous), do you find that you are actively controlling your facial and body language in the process?
Friend: Sure, some jokes require you to make a certain facial expression. But it actually makes for some akward discussion if you're thinking about your facial expressions while trying to talk.
Me: Hmm.
Friend: I've been a SI (Student Instructor) for 3-4 years, and the thing I consistently do to make sure my expressions are right is not to even focus on my face. I talk with my hands. It slows my rate of my speech down so I can actually think about what I'm saying.
After this, he showed me a couple youtube links to people talking in public settings and told me to focus on their hands.
YouTube - How to Read Body Language : How to Tell if Someone is Lying with Body Language
YouTube - Nonverbal Communication, Body Language Expert Jan Hargrave
I was shocked to find that I could actually totally understand what they were saying by just looking at their hands. In fact, maybe more so than their face.
I even researched the anatomy of a hand, and it's amazing how much precision we have over it (as opposed to the head which has half as much bones and hard-to-control muscles). We can even see our hands in real-time to make sure we're making the right gestures. There is no way to do the same with the face, unless you plan on carrying a mirror with you everywhere you go.
So anyway, I took his advice and started using my hands to talk, and now, after 23 years, I can honestly say I have gotten ridden of almost all my SA. The amazing thing is that as soon as I controlled my hands, my facial expressions instantly matched the contortions of my hands. I truly felt like I was conveying my points clearly for the first time in my life. It was so liberating.
So yea, I don't know how helpful this is to you, but if you have the same problem as I do (inability to properly control facial muscles), this might do the trick for you.
