Am I?

[Emma]

Am I ugly, people say I am, why?
I look like this:

I have red hair
I have freckles
I was born with really bad ears that stuck out, so I had them fixed, but they ended up pointy, so I look like an elf now
I'm 168cm tall
I weigh 52kg
I have a hunch back because of scoliosis
I have a swollen knee that I limp on
I get called pin head, in a mean way
I look sad all the time, but I can't help it
I have habit of twitching

So...what's your verdict, hit me with it?
And why do people tend to focus so much on looks?

 

[mad_mad_woman]

Hey Emma,

WE all tend to exaggerate our own faults. I bet your're very pretty, just a bit more confidence is what you need. It does seem though that people are focused on looks which is unfortunate. It seems as though celebrities and magazines think they have a right to tell us what pretty is. Well i think there definition of pretty is pretty ugly.

The thing about social phobia is that it does not allow us to accept ourselves. WE are always judging ourselves and finding fault. It's a never ending cycle. Emma you are a lot more than what you look like (which im sure is very pretty) there are so many things that make up a person.

Take care Emma.

 

[Thelema]

Don't worry about your looks I for one don't really care what a girl looks like as long as she's a good person.

 

[maggie]

Am I ugly, people say I am, why?
I look like this:

I have a small face
I have red hair
I have freckles
I was born with really bad ears that stuck out, so I had them fixed, but they ended up pointy, so I look like an elf now
I'm 168cm tall
I weigh 52kg
I have a hunch back because of scoliosis
I have a swollen knee that I limp on
I get called pin head, in a mean way
I look sad all the time, but I can't help it
I have habit of twitching

So...what's your verdict, hit me with it?
And why do people tend to focus so much on looks?

yeah, you're right Emma...it is a superficial world and people do focus too much on looks...but don't you think that..some day...when you're pretty and beautiful..and amazing.. to one person on the planet...that's all that matters..and everyone else's opinions shouldn't matter a rat's ass to you :wink:

 

[Kinetik]

People can be really harsh with what they say. What annoys me is that they simply don't think about the effect it has on someone else. Or they do, and say it specifically to generate a response with the intention of being an arsehole. Either way it's just plain horrible.

The thing is though Emma, it's got nothing to do with your physical appearance. They only say you're ugly because you give off something that says it's okay to make fun of you. That's why what you project on others is very important. If you're unsure of yourself, people will take the most readily available thing (visuals - because they don't know you) and use it against you.

But as my friend Maggie says, none of it matters when it comes to love and acceptance. If you know and like someone as a person, it's nearly impossible to find them unattractive. And that's the opposite of what you're experiencing now - people not knowing the real you and using cheap shots on you because society does have a lynch-mob mentality and it damn well loves kicking a person when they're down. And believe me, they can tell you're down - all they do is react to it. But being a bit more outgoing not only delivers the message that you're somewhat confident, but gives everyone else the chance to know you, and therefore find you attractive. That's why a lot of people with SA are screwed, because in our culture you do come off as ugly if you're unapproachable. So that's something we all need to work on, I guess.

 

[Jack-B]

The person you feel you are on the inside is who you see. Everyone else sees your body. You look at your body and say, "this is me", but how much of you does it really represent? You know deep down you are more than just a body.

What i mean is that you can choose to relate to yourself in two ways:

How others see you
How you see you

No one ever really sees us at all, all they see is our body, they then identify their own thoughts to who we are. So someone may see you as beutiful and yet you see yourself as ugly. You may be really attractive yet others may see you as ugly.

So essentially, you have to live with accepting how others will see 'their' version of you, which isnt really you, but you also have to accept how you see yourself.

To me you are beutiful, see this beuty inside yourself, let it grow.

Jack

 

[maggie]

The person you feel you are on the inside is who you see. Everyone else sees your body. You look at your body and say, "this is me", but how much of you does it really represent? You know deep down you are more than just a body.

What i mean is that you can choose to relate to yourself in two ways:

How others see you
How you see you

No one ever really sees us at all, all they see is our body, they then identify their own thoughts to who we are. So someone may see you as beutiful and yet you see yourself as ugly. You may be really attractive yet others may see you as ugly.

So essentially, you have to live with accepting how others will see 'their' version of you, which isnt really you, but you also have to accept how you see yourself.

To me you are beutiful, see this beuty inside yourself, let it grow.

Jack

awesome post Jack-B :!: