Am I too late to change?

bsammy

Well-known member
^ I would say not. There was a user on this site who posted a thread about how cognitive behavioural therapy had worked for her. She was 45 and had had it for forty years. Her username escapes me just at the moment.

The medical specialist I referred to was a neurologist, not a psychiatrist.

the problem with being in your 30s, if you have had bad case of avpd, life has basically passed you by..so much time is gone and im in bronsons position, mid 30s and not much going on..people are established and sure you can make new friends but it simply isnt the same when your late teens and 20s were a waste..its never too late to change things but once u hit certain age, and milestones havent been met by then, then it is too late..hat to be negative but its a fact..id love to see what that 45 year old person was able to do after CBT, i mean how much have they been able to change their life?
 

coyote

Well-known member
it's never too late to make excuses for why you shouldn't try to improve your life :thumbup:
 

hoddesdon

Well-known member
the problem with being in your 30s, if you have had bad case of avpd, life has basically passed you by..so much time is gone and im in bronsons position, mid 30s and not much going on..people are established and sure you can make new friends but it simply isnt the same when your late teens and 20s were a waste..its never too late to change things but once u hit certain age, and milestones havent been met by then, then it is too late..hat to be negative but its a fact..id love to see what that 45 year old person was able to do after CBT, i mean how much have they been able to change their life?

Could this be SA talking? It does try to defend itself.
 

hoddesdon

Well-known member

MikeyC

Well-known member
it's never too late to make excuses for why you shouldn't try to improve your life :thumbup:
I would do it but I think I left the stove on.

It's never too late, but you have to want to do it in the first place.
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
The person in question is flirtyanddirty.

There are more listed here:

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/where-can-i-find-a-story-of-a-ex-social-phobic-37053/#post544378

(Is it OK both to quote yourself and include a link to your post? :question:)

It is not so much the quest to break free from social phobia and avoidance--although that is a necessary quest. It is the problem of having never achieved anything, having no relationships, meeting hardly any life "milestones" and therefore having very little life experience at 32, an age where most people have already done enough to write their memoirs. Currently you could fit my memoirs in between the covers of a Berenstein Bears book.

I'm not sure you can recover from that. In terms of getting a relationship, what girl in their right mind would want anything to do with me? I'd have to tell them the truth--I hid away from the world doing mostly nothing. What then?
 

bsammy

Well-known member
It is not so much the quest to break free from social phobia and avoidance--although that is a necessary quest. It is the problem of having never achieved anything, having no relationships, meeting hardly any life "milestones" and therefore having very little life experience at 32, an age where most people have already done enough to write their memoirs. Currently you could fit my memoirs in between the covers of a Berenstein Bears book.

I'm not sure you can recover from that. In terms of getting a relationship, what girl in their right mind would want anything to do with me? I'd have to tell them the truth--I hid away from the world doing mostly nothing. What then?

THIS, its not about walking up to a certain number of people every day to socialize with them, its not about simply breaking out of your comfort zone, or learning social skills, its about the brutal reality of lost time..things you never did and cannot do now as they will seem flat or pointless(i know because ive tried to make up for past)..i like to be optimistic but realistic as well...

and yes, as for getting into a relationship, you would have to find the right person that would somewhat understand your past while at same time dealing with your present problems..its hard to find right person even when you are outgoing and social, much less when you have anxiety issues..
 

SilentBird

Well-known member
It’s not out of the question for a guy who has had limited experience in relationships to find someone they are compatible with, even later in life.
 
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