Am I the Only One?

[lyricalliaisons]

I've had very severe SA/Phobia for nearly all my life. My mom can even remember me showing signs as a toddler.

For me, I've always had this fear of being around people... because I have a fear of them talking to me. I can't explain it other than to say that I just don't know how to communicate with people. I just can't. I don't know what to say to them or how to say it. I'm just terrified of communicating with others... because I just can't. Words don't come out right, my mind goes blank.. & I just freak out.

However, the reason I'm posting this topic... is because on pretty much every SA site I've ever been to Social Anxiety/Phobia is always described as a person being afraid of doing or saying something to embarrass themselves around others.

This really infuriates me, truthfully, because what I have experienced ever since I can remember certainly is not a fear of embarrassing myself around others & it really angers me to hear SA viewed in such a way. It also makes it seem that, if that's all it is... fear of embarrassment.. it should be something that could be easily overcome with therapy/higher self-esteem/confidence. To me, it just trivializes what it really is.

I'm never worried about embarrassing myself in public. I would be humiliated if it happened, but so would anyone.. including those without SA/Phobia. I'm also never embarrassed by just being in public. I'm scared of being in public. I'm scared of socializing, of talking & of people talking to me. But I'm not afraid of embarrassing myself, or of being embarrassed. I wish that were all it was.

So.... What I want to know is....

Am I the only one who this is NOT the case for?

Or is everyone else who has SA/Phobia afraid of embarrassing themselves in public.... & that's it?[/i]

 

[fadedteal]

Yup, it's never embarrassment, humiliation, or being viewed as a wierdo that I'm scared of. It's in my deeper conscious that I just don't want to be with people or I'll get panic attacks.

 

[halcyon]

SAD is def. more complicated than possibility of embarrassment. I guess those that seek causes for this anxiety assume it must be the fear of embarrassment, when really it's much deeper than that.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

That's definitely the truth, & I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't view it as "embarrassment". I just wish that the people who write about SA/phobia would do some research into it & realize that it's not about being embarrassed.

 

[AdmiralSirJohn]

Indeed, SA is not about being embarassed.

For me, it's not even a fear of being in public. I can function fine on a basic, tenuous level. It's moving beyond that most fleeting contact that I find impossible.

As a result, friendship is exceedingly rare and intimacy unheard of.

 

[Andrew]

For me, I've always had this fear of being around people... because I have a fear of them talking to me. I can't explain it other than to say that I just don't know how to communicate with people. I just can't. I don't know what to say to them or how to say it. I'm just terrified of communicating with others... because I just can't. Words don't come out right, my mind goes blank.. & I just freak out.

You do know how to communicate with people it is just that you panic before you start the conversation and panic leads to your mind going blank as that is just what anxiety does to people.

However, the reason I'm posting this topic... is because on pretty much every SA site I've ever been to Social Anxiety/Phobia is always described as a person being afraid of doing or saying something to embarrass themselves around others.

I just checked this out on the web too and was amazed; everyone refers to SA as being excessively concerned about embarrassment. I think it is just a case of people have no idea what they are talking about because I don't think it is true at all. It was never about embarrassment for me.. it was about.. I guess fear of rejection, fear of being judged negatively, fear of fear, fear of the unknown, fear that people would not see the real me, etc.