Am I overanalyzing my shyness?

[LucidPanda]

Hopefully I can learn something from the people here. Whether I'm exaggerating my problem. Talking in bullet points is easier for me since I have a tendancy of making my posts too wordy/confusing.

• I'm a teenager that will be turning 20.
  When it comes to meeting people. I don't usually initate but I'm able to have a short conversation with others. This is even easier online with chatrooms and forums.
  I can make friends due to my agreeable nature. However I tend to stick with close friends.

Everything sounds fine. This is pretty standard behaviour. Here's the problem.

• I'm not very confident in my ability to socialise with others, this proves to be a massive problem when interacting with others long term.
  While my friends understand that I'm quiet and don't pressure me, often I'll get the feeling that I should chat with them. I don't want them to become bored and it also reflects poorly on myself.
  I really hate letting others down. I can see that I suffer a little from the fear of failure. When I'm down, I'll feel resigned to the fact that I'm likely to let down others.

This all contributes to resorting to hiding from friends, especially in one-on-one settings. Group settings I'm much more relaxed because I don't need to maintain the conversation. I can just be there.

I remember situations in my work placement. During lunchbreak, I avoided co-workers because of the problems above. It definitely interferes with my life in the sense that I can't connect very well.

It's not really SAD/AvPD, is it?
Just plain shyness?

Oddly enough I don't know how knowing will help. I know it's a problem that I have to sort out.

Thanks for those who read up to this far.

 

[Helyna]

Well, it sounds mostly like low social self-esteem. You're not intimidated by talking, are you? You're just anxious about whether you did it right. I get like that sometimes, too, worrying that I don't talk enough. I'm confused about myself, too. I think you're perfectly welcome on this site. It probably isn't AvPD (you'd be terrified of people's negative reactions), but maybe it's mild SAD. But I think that if it's interfering with your life, it can be considered a problem, no matter what you want to name it. They're just that - names, that's all.

 

[LucidPanda]

I don't think I'm intimidated by talking in itself.
Sometimes I can be intimidated by talkative people however. My fear system already kicks in that I won't be able to cope with the interaction.

Talking doesn't seem to be as much of a problem if I know what to say, or when I feel I have something that I can input. I might be a little nervous and stumbly with words, but I'll speak up.

I do fear negative reactions. However I don't think it's the same as AvPD. Probably more of a desire for approval combined with fear of perfectionism/failure. Ehehehe.... :roll:

Thanks for the welcome Helyna