lisha
New member
I'm 28 and have had some type of mental problem since I was around 13. I've been diagnosed with SA, PTSD, and OCD. I was also diagnosed bipolar, but the Dr. took it back, then I was diagnosed with borderline, and the DR. decided that wasn't it either. My problem with seeing the Dr was that I was to afraid to her that I can't hardly go out in public with out thinking that people are looking at me, judging me, making fun of me. If I do go out, even if it is just to the store, I have to have some kind of company with me, and if it's a quick run, I make them go inside for me. I was incredibly scared the Dr. would tell me I was schyzophranic and yet I knew that I didn't fit the schyzophranic category. I don't have a fear of people being out to get me, I just always worry that they are judging me, looking at me, thinking I am an idiot. My entire life I have been told by my closest friends,(which are few and far between) that their first impression was I was a stuck up snob. And that couldn't be more far from the truth. I just come across some articles that described the AP personality and it was like reading about myself. I have never been able to hold a job because I get so anxious and worried that I am going to look like an idiot or that people won't like me. I just happen to be so lucky to have a great husband who doesn't mind taking care of me. But this entire situation tears me apart. I have 2 children and would love to go on field trips with them, and I can't even bring my self to do that. Does this sound like APD to anyone else, or something more severe?