all in the genes?

[skins]

So, you've tried out more then a few attempts at gaining a sustainable long term relationship over the years, but it has always, for one reason or another, ended up in failure? .....have you ever suspected then, that its because of gods'/the universe/the life spirits' cruel way of making sure you don't pass on you're horrid mental disorder to your child?

...now, i for one wouldn't wish SAD on my worst enemy, but really, is this the ultimate way to ensure that i don't infact pass it on, by accident?....i mean it hasn't been without trying from my part...but only recently have i atleast seriously considered the fact that i wouldn't want a child for the sole reason of not wanting to pass on a world of social anxiety. Not without extreme caution and consideration first. But in reality would i have the courage to turn down that opportunity to a SO if they so desired it?? this troubles me, and THIS is maybe a reason why i keep getting denied that right. your thoughts?

 

[Scandic123]

It's not "all in the genes", although there is some gene that increases the change of developing SA. Your children can get SA from imitating your behavior, overprotection, bullying, being told to be quiet too often, etc. I'd say, if you find someone you want to start a family with, then don't let the fear of having children with SA stop you. Luckily SA is something that can be cured unlike other disorders and diseases.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

That has been my view of the matter for a long time. But, I suspect it's not true for a number of reasons:
1. Are we really approaching women that are compatible? My last relationship is a perfect example of incompatibility.
2. Are we looking in the right places that would yield the highest chance of success?
3. Flirting-Doing it right? Each girl is different but successful flirting (creating interest plus desire) takes some practice.
4. Do you like yourself? Very important! If you don't, most likely neither will she. This is what I need to really work on!

 

[skins]

That has been my view of the matter for a long time. But, I suspect it's not true for a number of reasons:
1. Are we really approaching women that are compatible? My last relationship is a perfect example of incompatibility.
2. Are we looking in the right places that would yield the highest chance of success?
3. Flirting-Doing it right? Each girl is different but successful flirting (creating interest plus desire) takes some practice.
4. Do you like yourself? Very important! If you don't, most likely neither will she. This is what I need to really work on!

number 4 is quite an importanant point here for me...i guess what it comes down to, what i am asking is, does having certain S.A traits necessarily correlate with a low reproduction
success rate of that individual? in general? and is this by accident or some sort of grand design you think?

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

number 4 is quite an importanant point here for me...i guess what it comes down to, what i am asking is, does having certain S.A traits necessarily correlate with a low reproduction
success rate of that individual? in general? and is this by accident or some sort of grand design you think?

I use to think by grand design. But, that is a great way to sabotage yourself. I don't think it has to be this way...I don't know, it's not a good mental exercise to go through anyway.

When I look back at my college years, I had so many opportunities. I use to wish that I could go back in time and mentor myself. I'm always regretting the past...and, if I don't do something now with my life (love included) 20 years from now I'll be looking at this period of my life as better. Wishing I had done something.

I'm going to give it my best shot. I'm tired of regretting the past and dreading the future. I'm going to learn to like myself, instead of hoping some girl "finds" and rescues me from my self torment.

If I could learn to like myself. I will be 10x better as a man than I would be if I got lucky and fell in love 10 or so years ago. I'll be a better and stronger man for my "dream" girl.