Agoraphobia-fear of leaving my safe zone

maria

maria

Member
hello

hello, my name is Maria I am 24 years old and I am also agoraphobic. I Have been like this most of my life, and I know the alone feeling. I sit back day after day and watch as people come and go. I was reading what you wrote and I felt as if I was reading something I must of wrote. I felt weird because I also thought I was the only one. I would think that I was going to go crazy if I leave, and still do feel the same way. Although my feelings of positive thinking are getting beter. I Guess I may never get beter, but even if that is true i know I need to stay strong. I have two kids and I dont want them to see me like this. I wish the fear would go away but I guess everything takes time. I finally am talking to someone else who has the same problem, and its like Im happy but sad at the same time. Happy to know that Im not alone, but sad someone else has to go through what I have to go through every step of my life. I would like so much to talk to you. I would love to talk to someone who understands so I dont feel so alone. I wish you the best, and hope to hear from you. Maria e-mail me anytime
 
still-in-my-shell

still-in-my-shell

Banned
Hi Marie

I know how you feel, I guess I "overcame" agoraphobia about 9 years ago when my son was born. Having him forced me to do alot of things I had previously avoided, like going to the doctor, going out of town (my safe zone). Then I went back to college for something I'm passionate about and felt distracted constantly which really helped getting over the agoraphobia, as did medication, therapy the usual stuff which only seems to help for a few years at most. (sorry for the negativity). I just finished college and now I am working and finding my agoraphobic way of thinking is really coming back strong. (Social phobia too, but that is a constant for me). I don't know if it is because I am not as distracted or if it is because I am not being forced to do as much as before- I find that we phobics need to be almost forced into going places, doing things before we see they really aren't as bad as we thought.

Sorry- babbling and offering no advice really. I wanted to repond to what you said because it was a relief to me when you described people at the store looking mean and you feeling beneath them. This forum is great because I am hearing alot of things that I have been feeling lately but not facing- like that horrible rush when you first open the door in the morning. Or how about crossing the street- is this a source of major anxiety for anyone else? I feel like I'm being judged and then I get all twitchy and blushy!
 
Anonymous

Anonymous

Well-known member
There is a CURE- & you have it!!!

Hi there Marie,

I can totally relate to what you are saying. I was at that point for a long while in my life. There is only one way to cure this, and you need to know that you have the answers within yourself!

Some things that helped me:
To start with , read a book called feel the fear and do it anyway- get it out from the library.
Go to agoraphobia help.com
Meditate & Relax
Become spiritually aware and connected to mother earth- you won't believe me now, but it's amazing how becoming more spiritual can make you feel connected and protected.
Turn off the internet, Go out and get a new job that you enjoy
Get a hobbie, and do IT!
Don't look at agoraphobia or panic website, ironically this only confirms your agoraphobia and makes it worse, it's self perpetuating. I know this because when i was suffering i used to be on these all day, saying i wish i knew how to stop this!, The only way is to DECIDE to stop it.
Realize you are not a victim, STOP being a victim of yourself, fill your time with pleasurable activities
Book more outings with your freinds
This all might seem abit daunting, but you will only gain confidence and overcome your fear once you have faced it, and believe me, no matter how hard it is , you will feel better once you have done it!
You will be free from your own limiting beliefs, because that's all this problem is, your not mentally ill! I mean i take cipralex to balance my emotions, i get panic attacks otherwise and my agoraphobia takes over as i avoid my fears.


NEXT: This is what works, go outside, put yourself out there the fear won't go away until you do this. I wouldn't leave my house at one point. I get nervous now sometimes, but that's all it is. Re evalute your life every month to make sure you are not slipping back into the pattern of anxious thinking.

THINK BIG, PLAN FOR SUCCESS! do things you don't think you can. You will be surprised at what you are caperble of. If you can't do something, don't let that confirm your fear, just keep trying, see it as a learning expereince, rather than failure.

Listen to personal, success development tapes, anything to DISTRACT you from your looping- DOOM like thoughts, of anxiety and agoraphobia.

CHANGE your SEMANTICS- don't even use the word agoraphobia, or social or anxiety. Don't LABEL yourself with these conditions otherwise you will see them as part of your identity, and NOONE wants to have there identity taken away from them do they!?

You will be amazed at the power of words, instead of anxious, use nervous ( a normal feeling that everyone experiences when they enter new situations) And believe me, everytime you or someone else enters new teriitory, you WILL expereince fear, the difference between you , me and the rest is that we expereince fear in an IRRATIONAL WAY.

Everyone feels fear, we just need to learn to deal with it differently. BELIEVE me, if you had no fear, you could do anything, TURN this on it's head okay, because when you face fear, get through it, and come out the otherside victorious, or NOT, either way, you have conquered it.

TAKING Positive action is one of the most empowering things you can do, positive thinking, affirmations, and exercise, SELF development. Try get hold of an anthony robbins book, from the library or tape it will change you life

Develop a Passion!!

Actually when i say you should not come to sites like these, only do this once you feel you have all the information you need. Then leave the computer off for a week. REFOCUS your life and attention on the moment. The hear and now. Dont think a second into the future, I know this sounds like a contradiction, but what i am trying to say is EXPERIENCE the pain and pleasure of the moment. Don't expereince pain at what you think the situation will be like, then avoid it. Feel the textures NOW this minute around you, is this room safe, yes. Try walking outside and standing out there for as long as possible, then come back in, take baby steps, but notice everything around you. Start to rationalise you fears, start to accept your fear, start to live life as an adventure, not something to fear..

I will go into more on a post about how i overcame my agorphobia, because it's easy when you know the formula.

Good luck honey, and let me know if you want any more info or to chat!
Love and Blessings,
Janey x
 
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