afraid..

[Falkor]

Hello.
This is a very serious thing, I'm afraid of my parents their frustration. I love them very much and they love me. But I'm just afraid. Everytime when I'm upset, or depressed they get mad. and frustrated at me. They will get really frustrated at me, I just wish I could cry and that they would understand. it makes my eyes teary right now.
I know they do understand and they want the best for me, but when I'm really sad they just say like ''Get over it, you're working on it'' But I'm really hurt because of my life dealing with SA, I said to my mom I want to have a social life so bad she reacted really frustrated. It makes me feel paranoid, just because I'm afraid of these reactions. I can't handle it.

 

[steve230]

I dont think you should be afraid, parents are parents, they'll always want you to be the best you can be and achieve everything you want to, but there are ocassions when everyone hates or even fears their parents. The best thing to do would be to just sit down and really have a talk/conversation about the problems your having and how you feel about their reactions to your issues, but its really the only way to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I don't think I could ever tell my own parents I have SA, just because I dont want to disappoint them. But, if your parents already know then talking with them really is the key and the way forward. Good luck.

 

[Falkor]

I dont think you should be afraid, parents are parents, they'll always want you to be the best you can be and achieve everything you want to, but there are ocassions when everyone hates or even fears their parents. The best thing to do would be to just sit down and really have a talk/conversation about the problems your having and how you feel about their reactions to your issues, but its really the only way to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I don't think I could ever tell my own parents I have SA, just because I dont want to disappoint them. But, if your parents already know then talking with them really is the key and the way forward. Good luck.

Thanks. I don't know, maybe I should not even talk to them about it.
'Cuz like you say, you don't want to dissapoint your parents, I don't want too.
My parents already know about my SA, and they are really sad about it.
They wish so bad things could change and they get frustrated cuz they don't want me to go through this,
and they are overwrought, they have some issues right now too. I guess I should not bother them with my probs.
But it just makes me feel a little afraid when they react like that.
But I know there's a reason for it, but sometimes i take it too personal. (like really personal, not thinking rational, but now i'm feeling a little bit better so it's going up and down..)
And plus, I'm making progress right now, So I should show them I will make more progress. but I just have these downsets. My mom is now playing radio happy songs, that makes me feel a little bit more upbeat. We just need positivity more in life , we all need , my dad, mom, bro and me

 

[steve230]

I probably wouldn't bottle it all up, just leads to more problems in the future -I know from personal experiance too. I wish I had someone to talk to it about but I just never found the right time to bring it up. Parents will always want to help you, even though sometimes they might not show it.

Perhaps you could talk to your brother about it instead to start with. I know it's easier for me to talk to my brother than my parents, so it might make it a little easier for you too. But your right, music always cheers people up! Whenever I've had a terrible day, theres nothing better than going to your room and just playing your favorite tracks

 

[Falkor]

I probably wouldn't bottle it all up, just leads to more problems in the future -I know from personal experiance too. I wish I had someone to talk to it about but I just never found the right time to bring it up. Parents will always want to help you, even though sometimes they might not show it.

Perhaps you could talk to your brother about it instead to start with. I know it's easier for me to talk to my brother than my parents, so it might make it a little easier for you too. But your right, music always cheers people up! Whenever I've had a terrible day, theres nothing better than going to your room and just playing your favorite tracks

I will go to therapy tomorrow anyway, so I can share it
My brother is too young, to tell him all about it. he's 11 years old.
But he is a sweet brother but too young uknow =)
he's too young to talk about that serious stuff.
But my parents know about my situation, but they can't help me out,
and that's a frustration for them. So I think my therapists will be the best solution. But ur right, it's better to talk.

Yeah Music, is a real cure, a real medicine, it works to feel better =)

 

[RN3]

I'm sorry that you feel that your parents are frustrated with you. you expressed that they know about your SA and thats a good thing. I don't think you should stop talking about it to them though. They really need to know that this condition is a very difficult one for you. Maybe you could get some brochures on SA and present them with it at a time when you think the would be ready to read it.

 

[Minty]

My parents are like that too. They hate when I show emotion. It took me a long time to realize that I'm not flawed for needing to cry every once in a while. They are. It's not normal to cast away your emotions. That's the part of you that makes you human, even more so than your rational side. Actually, they're pretty messed up, passive aggressive people who would rather talk **** about other people behind their back than confront the issue head on. But eh, I love 'em.

 

[Falkor]

My parents are like that too. They hate when I show emotion.

wow, the same goes for me everytime when i show ''too much emotion''
they start act frustrated. :/ i can't just act cool with it ;S
like live like nothing is going on, but i guess that's how i could not make them frustrated.. i guess.

 

[danstelter]

One of the unfortunate things that I learned in my life was that my parents simply were unable to understand and help me through any SA problems, so I came to the conclusion to stop talking to them about it and to instead talk to people who could relate and help. They reacted much like you did - with great frustration, and that was probably because I was afraid of simple things they could do without thinking.

That strategy, to not talk to them about my social anxiety has worked out very well, and I'll probably never really talk to them about it that much. But there are pleny of people out there who are sensitive to these things - I've found many of them in the social services industry. You probably are aware of a few people in your life who may be able to help you better, and if you can't think of anyone, try identifying people in social circles you are in.

Hope this helps,

Dan