Hi,
I was 'forced' to reveal my self to a stranger as having 'social phobia' just today. I went to get governement refunds for my psychiatrist visits.
The lady who served me seemed to regard me as a 'mental leper'.
I remained seated once she had done my refund and it was awkward finding out that she had finished serving me. I don't recall her having ended our exchange with a 'thank you' or 'that's it' or the like.
And yet, despite that this mis-communication was a simple enough mistake, she dealt with it in an awkward manner as if I was a 'weirdo' for not having pick-up on her -somewhat vague- cue to leave.
So essentially she was stiff in her communication with me.
And my overall impression was that she thought me 'a mental case' ...that old prejudice of the mentally ill and weirdoes who see pyschiatrists.
Now this annoyed me a little, and then I said to my self: "Who cares?" and "It is not my fault that this individual has a limited range of life experience and a lack of appreciation for how dynamic and colorful it is being human".
And I truly mean this, because rather than rely on meaningless definitions like 'social phobic' or 'normal person' or whatever other ways we have devised to categorise and understand our world -instead I believe I am relying on me "heart". Perhaps the term is "heart mind"...
This is why I like art and artistic people, because room is given to diversity and labels are rejected. -Which is overall a much healthier and saner way to go about living life.
Perhaps this is what is meant by relying upon perception rather that conceptual thought, words, etc...
But really: can you sum-up a human being with a few words or a term like 'social phobic'...? And, perhaps rather than view the insane or those with psychological or emotional problems as 'flawed' and right them off, what if these people have such problems beause they are simply more interesting than "normal" people.
I don't wish to encourage arrogance here, or to turn it all around and say that I am better. Rather, I feel that with this lady who (from my observation) seemed to have some prejudice towards me, that "her secret is safe with me". She can think me "nuts" but this is just the view-point of a person with a limited life experience and who is not as likely to have as many "shades of color" to her.
I consider my self fortunate: I have many aspects to me, and I'm discovering and exploring these. And if it means breaking away from "normal" , well I'm no longer so scared to be considered 'abnormal'. At least I am exploring the world. -what fun is there sticking to boundaries? No body who was anybody ever stuck to the boundaries of "normal". So I say to people who judge me: "have your normal!". I don't need their boundaries for 'normal' anymore and I'm simply not interested.
