about to give up on life

[DYiNG-iNSiDE]

ok im just gonna complain and whine 4 a little bit if u dont mind lol im just RLLLLY depressed lately and dont see ANY point to going on w/ my life i just keep telling myself itll get better but ive been telling myself that 4ever. and my life could be good if i didnt have HORRIBLE HORRIBLE sa its like i dont even function like every1 else nemore. i remeber when i used 2 be normal and happy- those where the days. lifes got almost unbearable lately and after being gone 4rm school over a month i gotta go back to day after tomorrow w/ all new classes just thinking about it makes me shake and feel faint like. ppl w/ out SA take it soooo 4granted! i know i did when i didnt have it. and my moms the only person i can talk 2 about it and she doesnt understand AT ALL and acts like i can make it go away if i wanted 2 or something or that im just making it up. but she has depression and rlly understands that. and i thought since im prob gonna be shaking and sweating and red faced all day and not say a word 2 ne1 monday mabye i could get xanax's perscribed 2 me so i could take em just when i had 2 present something or a 1st day or something. but she said NO and wouldnt listen or look at any of the stuff i looked up she said there addictive and the dr wont even perscribe them 2 kids. idk i just feel like ill be stuck in my head till the day i die always worrying and never getting 2 live life. and so sorry if i didnt use "proper english" i know that annoys alot of u 4 some reason but this is how ive always type and im not trying 2 make this perfect just get all this out in the open. wow this is the longest post ive ever posted

 

[Thelema]

I know the feeling. Feeling so alone every day and even telling people about what your feeling doesn't seem to help them understand much. I started highschool without really knowing anyone and feeling really scared at first but the more you stick it out and go every day the easier it gets. You may find the love of your life in one of your classes or a new best friend...won't know until you go.

One of my favorite quotes is "I am not discouraged because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward." - Thomas Edison lots of wonderful things could happen so look towards the sun and shun the darkness and so on and so forth
:wink:

 

[Maarten]

I know how you feel as well. I have been going to school for more than a year now and have hardly talked with anyone. I just tell myself that I do not have to talk with anyone at school, and that I am going there to get a diploma not necessarily to socialize.
What has helped me the most up until now is acceptance. Just accept your current condition, accept that you are currently unable to socialize and that you do not have to socialize. Once you accept this a big burden is lifted of your shoulder.
For example: there was this girl in school who seemed to like me and I desperately wanted to talk with her. I kept struggling and fighting to try and talk with her but the more I tried the worse the anxiety got. A full year of battling later I was no closer to talking with her. Then the moment I gave up and accepted that I could not talk with her I felt relieved and I just didn't care anymore. A couple of weeks later I walked into the classroom and she was sitting there and I just sat next to her, (still not caring or even wanting to talk with her) and after sitting there for a while with only mild anxiety I finally managed to strike up a conversation with her.

Never give up on life; I believe that Napoleon Hill was right when he said that the biggest successes are always preceded by the biggest failures. You will get better. Just keep on going and don’t let the anxiety win. I am sure you will get out of it being happier and stronger than ever.

Regards,

Maarten

 

[pinkputter]

Hey im really sorry about them not understanding.

If it helps, I have recovered (not fully) but ive made a lot of progress without medication ... it CAN be done!

Maybe if your mom understand the depression side she'd get you anti-depressants to help...

either way, you can recover... I would recommend reading up on it, get some books over it to understand.

 

[wildmango]

My advice to you would be to get on a CBT course quickly. It makes a big difference. If you dont make the effort to get better yourself, then youre just complaining to no purpose.

i dont understand why you have called yourself 'dying inside'. what kind of a nickname is that?! i mean, youre defining yourself as negatively as possible. you could try defining yourself more positively. it might feel fake and deluded at first, but then you might learn to believe it.

i had social anxiety at university, i know it is no fun at all, and sometimes you want to stop existing. but i got a lot better, through CBT and my own hard work. and youll notice yourself getting better quite quickly, within weeks, if you put your mind to it. so if i were you id make that your number one priority. send off for dr richards' social anxiety CDs, listen to them, find a CBT group nearby, and get better!