a question !

[LA323]

my question is this.......... What has helped you get thru the most dreaded social situations, is it drugs, medications, therapy or what?, im asking this question because for the last year or so ive completely given up on trying to cure this fucking decease that is killing me, and just live with it, ive completely thrown, therapy, drugs, and all the works out the window, and ive gotten thru my anxiety with beer or liquor, thats my drug, and helps me forget about my problems at least for a while and gets me thru with no problem. The way i do it is that i simply drink before going into any social situation, so that means i drink alot, i try to catch a "buzz", and its only then that i get the balls to do what i want, its weird, and thats what is most addicting to me, not the beer itself, but the effects of if, with beer i can dream, and feel that i can do anything, it would be cool if i just felt like that all the time without drinking anything, its so hard and frustrating, but ive found drinking the only cure, even though its only temporary, and if drinking is what i have to do to feel a little better, then i will drink, fuck it

 

[Chilling__Echo]

hey, haven't seen you in a while, sorry you're having a hard time

i think what's helped me the most is counseling, CBT, taking baby steps to be social, just facing it little by little

 

[LA323]

hey, whats up chilling, i know, i havent been here in a while, its weird, but its nice you still visit this site, nice to hear from ya, thanks for the reply

 

[Angie_05]

What helps me get through the scary situations is not thinking and just doing it. I also like to pretend to myself that I don't have SA.

 

[ignisfatuus]

What has helped you get thru the most dreaded social situations, is it drugs, medications, therapy or what?

Avoidance.

 

[kiwi]

I wish a few beers would get rid of my anxiety - that seems like such a simple solution. So what if you need a few drinks beforehand (unless you become an alcoholic of course).

But although alcohol can enhance a social situation for me, it's only a minor improvement. I remember one time I was in a pub with a couple of friends, and I was completely drunk, to the point where the room was spinning, but I clearly remember feeling so anxious and uncomfortable when my friends started dancing to the music and tried to get me to join in!

So unfortunately I can't use alcohol to get rid of my anxiety.

 

[kiwi]

What has helped you get thru the most dreaded social situations, is it drugs, medications, therapy or what?

Avoidance.

Me too, sadly. I went through a phase when I was getting therapy of forcing myself into social situations I normally wouldn't go to, and although I got through them without too much trouble, I've slipped back into avoidance again. To me socialising is like exercise - I could force myself to do it in the short-term if I really tried, but since I will never find it enjoyable I will stop doing it at some point, whether that be in a month, 6 months, a year etc. I know it's a poor excuse, but that's why I don't even try now. :-(

 

[elProscrito]

But although alcohol can enhance a social situation for me, it's only a minor improvement. I remember one time I was in a pub with a couple of friends, and I was completely drunk, to the point where the room was spinning, but I clearly remember feeling so anxious and uncomfortable when my friends started dancing to the music and tried to get me to join in!

So unfortunately I can't use alcohol to get rid of my anxiety.

It's the same for me. alcohol gets me even more quiet coz i try to prevent myself from saying something i would regret in the future

what helped me was self - help. especially "psycho-cybernetics" by maxwell maltz. i never tried CBT

 

[kiwi]

that makes sense to me...i also dont enjoy socialising so i dont see much reason to do it...but sometimes i have to...for my son and gf...and sometimes people even want to see me! a bit like exercise...if you get out of condition..its gonna be harder when you have to do the annual fun-run....so maybe it doesnt hurt to....keep in training a little..lol a very little..i dont knowwwww man...im just on the talk-chair today 8O

Yeah that's a good analogy. Someone else here mentioned that they were really lazy, and I have to say it's the same with me. If I thought that by forcing myself to socialise that I would learn to like it, or there were other benefits to be gained from all that work, then maybe I would do it. But right now I just see it as training for an annual fun-run that I don't even want to do! Whilst avoiding it brings its own stresses, it's easier than the alternative.

I don't know, maybe this is just my way of making excuses to cover up the fear. I saw a documentary on TV a while ago about people with phobias, and one guy had a phobia of being on a ferry (this was in New York). His therapist tried to make him go on one, and he agreed, but when the time came he chickened out, making up all these excuses like "there's no point", "I can do it but it's just a waste of time", blah blah blah.

Maybe this is what I'm doing as well, I don't know.

 

[kiwi]

that makes sense to me...i also dont enjoy socialising so i dont see much reason to do it...but sometimes i have to...for my son and gf...

I forgot to ask, you have a son and a girlfriend??? Or you mean your son has a girlfriend? But aren't you only in your 30's?

 

[kiwi]

yeah i know what you mean about not wanting to do the 'fun-run'...but...i dont know..for e some things HAVE to be done..like today...its Sintaklaas day here....i have to go to my gf's family and we will exchange gifts..i may have to read a short witty poem about myself...aha......alcohol? yes f'ng please!!...and my gf is feeling ill and maybe doesnt want to go then ill have to go with just my son....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! (youve just made me realise that im not signed into msn kiwi!)

Eek, a witty poem about yourself. I'm breaking out in a sweat just thinking about that!

I hear what you're saying about obligations that you have to meet. One of the things that I do feel ashamed of is not attending any family functions since I was a teenager. I've lost touch with all my relatives which I feel really bad about. Most of my cousins are now married and have kids, and I missed their weddings and everything. God knows what they must think of me.

Just as well I don't have a gf I suppose. I don't know how I would cope with all those extra obligations.