SocialRetahd said:
Thelema said:
I was inspired to write this by a Judas Priest song.
Was it turbo lover?
I don't think age has anything to do with it. If you're a very adult 18 year old then it shouldnt be a problem. Like, do you have your own place? A job? If you act and live like an adult she would think otherwise.
No...thats a good song tho.
It is the most complicated thing on earth...and I have never told anyone about her so...might as well tell the story. She messaged me on a GWAR forum(heres a link to the site read some of the threads to get a feel for the place
http://www.bohabcentral.com/default.php ) She asked me why I thought looks mattered when I posted in a thread. We kept messaging back and forth about all kinds of stuff. Fast forward a few months we were talking to one another pretty much every day and she said she was tired of the forum and she gave me her yahoo id. At this point I should probably tell you about what kind of girl this is. She's the kind of girl that has a hard life. 4 divorces a very bad alcoholic and a former meth addict. I would ask her the dumbest questions about life and about sex and she would always give the most honest answer and thats what I first liked about her. She has a tough outer shell but she is the sweetest person I know anyway...I started to develope feelings for this girl. Then I started feeling real love for this girl. I waited a while and one day I just told her that I was in love with her. She said that was impossible because she was everything I hated(I hate drugs and drinking and all that stuff. No matter what I said she just wouldn't believe it. A couple months later it was really hurting me to be in love with her. She would talk about having sex with other guys to me...It ripped my heart out. Then she would say that all men just want sex from her...She would tell me about all this stuff and I couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted to be her friend but I just couldn't take it and I felt like I was just a freaking crazy loser for being in love with someone that didn't love me back. She didn't even believe I was in love with her...I decided I had to be away from her for a while so my romantic love for her would go away after she pretty much blew me off when I was trying to help her. I ignored her for a week and it was the worst week of my life. I couldn't force myself to eat. I just wanted to cry all day but I had to pretend nothing was wrong so my mom wouldn't notice. This is where it all gets more complicated. She asked me why I was ignoring her and I told her. First she pretty much acted like goodbye nice knowing you but a few days later she said she couldn't let me go that I meant too much to her.I was crying like I never have before. She had NEVER said I meant anything to her. .Then she told me she could really use a friend and I decided to ask her why and she told me she was losing her house. So I decided to come back and talk to her.
Later that night she admitted to me she was attracted to me and told me I was the kind of man she wanted to marry. She said things like it breaks her heart that I'm so young and that because of that we can never be together. She said she was ashamed to feel this way about an 18 year old. She even said I could marry her daughter when she gets older. You must understand she had never opened up and said I meant anything to her until the last few days and I suspected she was drunk or something so I didn't want to believe what she was saying.Here is one of the messages she sent me "But still desire for you, to hear the sound of the voice of the man that I know I can not everm, in this life have"
What am I supposed to believe after she says those things to me? I think she does have feelings for me but is ashamed because I'm young. I tell her I love her and that she's beautiful and stuff like that all the time and she doesn't ever tell me to stop so I don't know if she likes it or not...My heart is torn apart at this point...I don't know what to believe...I've gotten really worked up and almost angry because I want to know exactly what being attracted means and if she really has feelings for me or not and she NEVER gives me a straight answer. She knows I love her with all my heart but she never tells me to stop when I tell her that and we're as close as ever so what does she expect me to think anyway?
