When I was younger I was completely social. I was actually angry when I couldn't be as free as my friends and go to parties. Then something clicked inside of me as I got to my mid twenties. I started avoiding people and avoiding social situations. I'd pretend to be sick so I didn't have to attend events and parties. I'd pretend to be out of town and hide in my house for a whole week...I wasn't even doing anything special. Snuggling my dogs and playing xbox or binge watching movies and tv shows.
At first it was anxiety keeping me from being social. Now as I get closer and closer to 35 I realize I simply do not enjoy people anymore. It's really becoming a huge problem and I don't know how to fix it. I don't want to dislike people in general. I get so irritable and annoyed so fast with people anymore. When I have to speak to a client on the phone, I hide my irritation really well by putting a smile into my voice and laughing at their stupid unfunny jokes, but inside I'm screaming.
I hate when people act concerned and ask me about my weekend or my life because they usually half listen as though they're just waiting for you to stop talking so they can talk about THEIR weekend and their lives. As though that was the whole point of inquiring about your life in the first place.
Maybe I need medication? I've tried being patient with people and I'm really good at it...on the surface. All the stress of dealing with their stupidity and slow thought processes is driving me insane. My stress level is nearly always in the red zone.
It's a vicious cycle now too. I know if I have to be around people,commute around idiot drivers,and answer phone calls from people who can't even string together a coherent sentence my stress level will skyrocket. That thought makes me have a panic attack and major anxiety.
I'm really so tired
At first it was anxiety keeping me from being social. Now as I get closer and closer to 35 I realize I simply do not enjoy people anymore. It's really becoming a huge problem and I don't know how to fix it. I don't want to dislike people in general. I get so irritable and annoyed so fast with people anymore. When I have to speak to a client on the phone, I hide my irritation really well by putting a smile into my voice and laughing at their stupid unfunny jokes, but inside I'm screaming.
I hate when people act concerned and ask me about my weekend or my life because they usually half listen as though they're just waiting for you to stop talking so they can talk about THEIR weekend and their lives. As though that was the whole point of inquiring about your life in the first place.
Maybe I need medication? I've tried being patient with people and I'm really good at it...on the surface. All the stress of dealing with their stupidity and slow thought processes is driving me insane. My stress level is nearly always in the red zone.
It's a vicious cycle now too. I know if I have to be around people,commute around idiot drivers,and answer phone calls from people who can't even string together a coherent sentence my stress level will skyrocket. That thought makes me have a panic attack and major anxiety.
I'm really so tired
