Social anxiety. The fear of other people translated because your fear and loathing of yourself. People are like mirrors. They can treat people as they would themselves, or they treat other people how they FEEL they themselves should be treated. In this last situation, the literal you takes on the mentality of someone you have observed (likely someone who mocked and belittled you and you believed them) and then you proceed to treat others with this mentality. A negative reinforcement occurs when one notices how you are treating them and proceed to shun, ignore, or criticize you. You, already being attuned to such treatment and considering it empirical, accept and analyze their words and accept it unequivocally. The anxiety occurs when you wholly believe you are treating someone precisely as you should (you imagine or hope they will be jovial and accepting toward you despite what you say, just as you were toward whatever person you are emulating in conversation) and instead are or feel belittled from the unenthusiastic or negative response.
Over time, this simple cycle evolves. The body learns to accept it self as unacceptable. One begins to feel that life in this body is unacceptable and begins to imagine that being flawed is no way to exist. People who you consider NOT flawed scare and intimidate, or are worshipped unhealthily. Over time, social events pack harder and harder punch as negatives as the cycle feed itself.
Over years, the stress your body suffers becomes exponential. You lose your hair, eyesight, and the bad habits you picked up to provide small comfort from the horror of social existance because you feel like a despicable mutant. Remember, negatives (whatever it is that makes you hate yourself) increase exponentially and so hurt more over time. Every new criticism takes on the same level of hatred regardless of how petty or serious, so pretty soon waking up and pouring a bowl of cereal and realizing you do not have any milk wil make you JUST as mad as if you god sucker punched in the face or got your cds stolen or called ugly.
You begin to assign nefarious meanings to everything anybody says to you. ("I look NICE today?! That bitch knows I look like hell, she is always looking at me when she talks to others and whispers) You imagine everybody has alternate reason for taking the time to speak to you. You begin to comfort yourself with unhealthy self talk (life is meaningless anyway, I deserve to be what I am because I did turn out this way.
Yes, social anxiety is a killer. A fundamental misunderstanding of the physics, biology, reason, and destiny of every day life lurks behind this horrible and numbing affliction. Just as black holes suck all matter unto themselves, so does a mind paralyzed continue to feed itself with negative energy until eventually, nothing escapes it's horrible outlook.
There are a few things one can do to reduce and in many ways reverse the disease. Success involves a better understanding of the physical world around you and how it works, starting foremost with a better fundamental understanding if what it means to be you. I'm not speaking aesthetically or emotionally or ideally, I mean LITERALLY.
- You need to know what it's like to make your body fully aware and responsive to the environment around it. Many choose meditation, excerise (if you can only walk a block, walk a block in the sun. If you are so inclined, wear a hat and glasses and sweatshirt of the thought of anybody recognizing or looking at you is too much. But you MUST do this, summon your courage or reward yourself blatantly even if it means engaging a bad habit to get yourself to do so. It's this important) or something as simple as a bubble bath. The point is, be somewhere you can be yourself that will feed all that negative energy circling in your brains RAM storage into your bodies cells, who will respond happily to the energy and feeling of being active for once.
Do not be discouraged if the positive effects of feeling like you are "being" as you begin to slowly slide back into being a human cannot seem to be translated to your social encounters. Sometimes the smack of hatred for yourself that is so built into your brain chemistry is so ready-fire that you cannot yet consciously employ it, and you will feel a wave of all the horrible things you are used to feeling when encountering people. This WILL happen.Often. Many times, it may make you relapse and the black hole may become activated again for long stretches before you even knew to respond The one thing you must hold paramount is, you must continue to devote time and effort to BEING.
For some perspective, my anxiety was so intense that I unconsciously for many years held my chest tight. The stress of this on my body made my arms and likes go ice cold. I began to be aware of this, but was never consciously aware of my body (because my brain ram was busy employing the outcomes of my core principles instead of seeing what was really happening around and in me) and pretty soon just the realization that my hands or legs were cold careened my into a panic attack, thus multiplying the stress.
Through slowly getting acquainted with the creature I walk around with, by meditating, consciously trying to treat myself better with better meals and removing bad habits, and getting the right amount of sleep as opposed to never wanting to get out of my bed... I began to understand it.
After many months of private success with myself yet none social, my brains chemistry began to be more active on my body awarness, so that pretty soon my body decided for me that it wanted to feel good regardless of what I thought of it. I loved feeling light chested and warm so much, that pretty soon I would find that on some days, I wouldn't let what ANY body said or did or didn't do keep me from it!
A modicum of success is so powerful to the socially anxious who live and feel as numb outright failures by nature. The socially anxious do not allow themselves to succeed..but your body will. DO not seek success in virtual worlds, you MUST become your BODY. It wants to be succesful, give it some time to run things. And tell it that sometimes, you two are able to enjoy something. Work with it so that you can enjoy more.
You must unite your mind with your body, realize that when when is not well, neither is the other.
A happy, mindful person is one of the great things about being a social creature. Yours may not look how you think it's supposed to, or should be, but it is just as responsible for shaping the world as the fake symmetry of those in the media. Einstien: Ugly, jewish. Genius, got laid, changed history on a global level. Look, i mean YOU know who he is. Others can KNOW who you are. And that is more powerful than any ones looks.
If you think this is another boring way of beauty is on the inside, think of it like this. Beauty is nature. And nature saw fit to give you a chance to influence it from within. Take it.
BY the way, I still suffer, and some periods I will feel bad for days. But sometimes, I feel good for weeks. 5 months ago, I hadn't felt well in over 3 years. This momentum will get me to the finish line.
Good luck all out there, hope this made sense, and be well. You deserve it.
Over time, this simple cycle evolves. The body learns to accept it self as unacceptable. One begins to feel that life in this body is unacceptable and begins to imagine that being flawed is no way to exist. People who you consider NOT flawed scare and intimidate, or are worshipped unhealthily. Over time, social events pack harder and harder punch as negatives as the cycle feed itself.
Over years, the stress your body suffers becomes exponential. You lose your hair, eyesight, and the bad habits you picked up to provide small comfort from the horror of social existance because you feel like a despicable mutant. Remember, negatives (whatever it is that makes you hate yourself) increase exponentially and so hurt more over time. Every new criticism takes on the same level of hatred regardless of how petty or serious, so pretty soon waking up and pouring a bowl of cereal and realizing you do not have any milk wil make you JUST as mad as if you god sucker punched in the face or got your cds stolen or called ugly.
You begin to assign nefarious meanings to everything anybody says to you. ("I look NICE today?! That bitch knows I look like hell, she is always looking at me when she talks to others and whispers) You imagine everybody has alternate reason for taking the time to speak to you. You begin to comfort yourself with unhealthy self talk (life is meaningless anyway, I deserve to be what I am because I did turn out this way.
Yes, social anxiety is a killer. A fundamental misunderstanding of the physics, biology, reason, and destiny of every day life lurks behind this horrible and numbing affliction. Just as black holes suck all matter unto themselves, so does a mind paralyzed continue to feed itself with negative energy until eventually, nothing escapes it's horrible outlook.
There are a few things one can do to reduce and in many ways reverse the disease. Success involves a better understanding of the physical world around you and how it works, starting foremost with a better fundamental understanding if what it means to be you. I'm not speaking aesthetically or emotionally or ideally, I mean LITERALLY.
- You need to know what it's like to make your body fully aware and responsive to the environment around it. Many choose meditation, excerise (if you can only walk a block, walk a block in the sun. If you are so inclined, wear a hat and glasses and sweatshirt of the thought of anybody recognizing or looking at you is too much. But you MUST do this, summon your courage or reward yourself blatantly even if it means engaging a bad habit to get yourself to do so. It's this important) or something as simple as a bubble bath. The point is, be somewhere you can be yourself that will feed all that negative energy circling in your brains RAM storage into your bodies cells, who will respond happily to the energy and feeling of being active for once.
Do not be discouraged if the positive effects of feeling like you are "being" as you begin to slowly slide back into being a human cannot seem to be translated to your social encounters. Sometimes the smack of hatred for yourself that is so built into your brain chemistry is so ready-fire that you cannot yet consciously employ it, and you will feel a wave of all the horrible things you are used to feeling when encountering people. This WILL happen.Often. Many times, it may make you relapse and the black hole may become activated again for long stretches before you even knew to respond The one thing you must hold paramount is, you must continue to devote time and effort to BEING.
For some perspective, my anxiety was so intense that I unconsciously for many years held my chest tight. The stress of this on my body made my arms and likes go ice cold. I began to be aware of this, but was never consciously aware of my body (because my brain ram was busy employing the outcomes of my core principles instead of seeing what was really happening around and in me) and pretty soon just the realization that my hands or legs were cold careened my into a panic attack, thus multiplying the stress.
Through slowly getting acquainted with the creature I walk around with, by meditating, consciously trying to treat myself better with better meals and removing bad habits, and getting the right amount of sleep as opposed to never wanting to get out of my bed... I began to understand it.
After many months of private success with myself yet none social, my brains chemistry began to be more active on my body awarness, so that pretty soon my body decided for me that it wanted to feel good regardless of what I thought of it. I loved feeling light chested and warm so much, that pretty soon I would find that on some days, I wouldn't let what ANY body said or did or didn't do keep me from it!
A modicum of success is so powerful to the socially anxious who live and feel as numb outright failures by nature. The socially anxious do not allow themselves to succeed..but your body will. DO not seek success in virtual worlds, you MUST become your BODY. It wants to be succesful, give it some time to run things. And tell it that sometimes, you two are able to enjoy something. Work with it so that you can enjoy more.
You must unite your mind with your body, realize that when when is not well, neither is the other.
A happy, mindful person is one of the great things about being a social creature. Yours may not look how you think it's supposed to, or should be, but it is just as responsible for shaping the world as the fake symmetry of those in the media. Einstien: Ugly, jewish. Genius, got laid, changed history on a global level. Look, i mean YOU know who he is. Others can KNOW who you are. And that is more powerful than any ones looks.
If you think this is another boring way of beauty is on the inside, think of it like this. Beauty is nature. And nature saw fit to give you a chance to influence it from within. Take it.
BY the way, I still suffer, and some periods I will feel bad for days. But sometimes, I feel good for weeks. 5 months ago, I hadn't felt well in over 3 years. This momentum will get me to the finish line.
Good luck all out there, hope this made sense, and be well. You deserve it.