Quiet Angel
Well-known member
"There's no place like home". Isn't home a place of total and complete comfort? A place to unwind from stress? I desperately long for a place like that. :
:
I've moved out for the first time, a few months ago, to attend a University. I'm living with three female room-mates. They're wonderful girls but I'm extremely anxious around them. Stupid phobia!
I deeply miss those easy High School days. Although the anxiety at school felt unbearable, I could rely on home to make me feel safe and secure again. Not anymore. The constant, never-ending phobia remains. It adds up over time. I erupt with tears and I rock myself to feel comfort.
Most of the time, I'll hide in my room. The walls are thin, so I can always here their voices from the outside. Discomforting! Sometimes I'm afraid to walk outside to use the bathroom/get a snack from the kitchen. If I obviously spend too much time in my room, I'll hide in a different building and study, anywhere to avoid home. What frustrates me: They STILL notice. They make friendly jokes such as: "You're a good little girl who stays in her room and studies." When I left the building for a while, one of them said: "Why were you gone for so long? Where were you?" I can't avoid it no matter what! GAH!
I talk a little bit, but not very much. I feel like a horrible room-mate. I imagine they're thinking the absolute worst of me. I imagine their disappointment. I've always wanted to have the college experience of living with room-mates, I've always found it to be so exciting, but maybe living independently is more suitable for me.
Do you guys have any advice as to how I can cope with this? I smile at my room-mates to show friendliness, I talk a bit and laugh a lot, I clean so I'm not a slob, I try my best to do everything right. I don't know.
:I've moved out for the first time, a few months ago, to attend a University. I'm living with three female room-mates. They're wonderful girls but I'm extremely anxious around them. Stupid phobia!
I deeply miss those easy High School days. Although the anxiety at school felt unbearable, I could rely on home to make me feel safe and secure again. Not anymore. The constant, never-ending phobia remains. It adds up over time. I erupt with tears and I rock myself to feel comfort.
Most of the time, I'll hide in my room. The walls are thin, so I can always here their voices from the outside. Discomforting! Sometimes I'm afraid to walk outside to use the bathroom/get a snack from the kitchen. If I obviously spend too much time in my room, I'll hide in a different building and study, anywhere to avoid home. What frustrates me: They STILL notice.
They make friendly jokes such as: "You're a good little girl who stays in her room and studies." When I left the building for a while, one of them said: "Why were you gone for so long? Where were you?" I can't avoid it no matter what! GAH!I talk a little bit, but not very much. I feel like a horrible room-mate. I imagine they're thinking the absolute worst of me. I imagine their disappointment. I've always wanted to have the college experience of living with room-mates, I've always found it to be so exciting, but maybe living independently is more suitable for me.
Do you guys have any advice as to how I can cope with this? I smile at my room-mates to show friendliness, I talk a bit and laugh a lot, I clean so I'm not a slob, I try my best to do everything right. I don't know.
