One thing you wrote about aiming for achievements rather than how you get there (something along those lines anyway) - well this is how I live my life. I'm very achievement orientated, every big successful event marks a new level of progression for me. However it should be noted that this way of thinking can lead to new anxieties in itself. Someone once said to me in another social phobia forum; why not simply enjoy living life, enjoy the things you do and not get so hung up over not completing a project or passing a certain exam. It's not the end of the world.
It seems like a lot of people who suffer from social phobia are hung up on achieving things in their lives, not necessarily academic or material success...but whatever they think is missing. If someone is genuinely missing something that gets them down, then its good to set goals and see a way to acheiving that in the future. But I think its important to truly understand why we want something that might be different than what we already have. I spent a long time unhappy because I felt like a 'failure'..because I dropped out of university more than once...at the time I was young and independant, but couldn't enjoy that because I felt overwhelmed by feelings of failure, and not being where I 'should' be in life. By my early 20s I felt like I was old and had fucked up and that was that.
Now I look back and see how sad it is that I wasted all that time worrying about myself. As I got a bit older and craggier I stopped caring so much about what other people were achieving in their lives and how I compared. My family are hung up on achievement and I got tired of feeling accountable to them...if people consistently asked me 'what are you doing now' or made negative comments, instead of asking 'how are you?' I cut them out of my life as much as possible.
Our society is so acheivement orientated, and obsessed with comparisons from such a young age. We are brought up to compete against each other in everything. If we weren't, there would be no such term as 'loser'.
If you feel like a loser, you have to ask yourself, what are you losing at??
Life isn't a game, with winners and losers. Its just there...wether you want it or not.
I don't care what I achieve anymore. All I want to know is what stuff makes me happy. I used to think I'd be happy if I had things to be 'proud' of...but when I achieved those things, I realised there wasn't much payback in terms of emotion. I just felt like 'Way me! Mini mexican wave....now what?'
Now I think the little things that you think are tyding you over 'till you get to where you want to be, they're the things to look for...they're still going to be the things that make you happy when you get the other stuff in your life....
x
(btw, black-mamba....you're post just sparked off these thoughts, they're not directed at you :wink: )
and btw Nick....I tried to move this to another thread, but couldn't...as I didn't think it belonged in your thread.
If you do take a break from this site, because of your other projects...good luck with them
x
