.
- Thread starter TheWall
- Start date
Shakey
Member
I met my boyfriend through some mutual friends of ours. We didn't actually start dating until about 6 months later. I always thought he was nice, but wasn't convinced he was my type, until we started to spend more time together outside of our mutual friends, and started talking to each other on Facebook.
We finally took it to the next level when at a movie-watching party, I got slightly drunk and leant against him on the couch all night. To cut a long story short, the next week he rang and asked me on a date.
That was about three months ago and I'm still with him, and happy.
I've never been in a happy relationship before (I'm 25), and I've never been in a relationship longer than 4 months, but I feel like it will be longer than 4 months with this guy.
Yes, I told him about SA. My SA is only with dating, so it was a big thing for me to even accept a date- I do get asked out occasionally, and I usually accept, but after 2 dates I can't stand the anxiety and make excuses not to see the guy any more.
But there was something different about this guy - I was scared, but didn't want to run away. I had to have some counselling in the early part of the dating, which really helped, as did having supportive friends.
I actually told him after one date about SA - which really freaked him out, but after talking to his friends about it, he must have felt that he had seen more to me than just my SA (I also have OCD, which I have told him about - but my OCD is fairly under control). I have also had a panic attack in front of him, but even that didn't scare him off! I still get anxious when going to meet him, but I'm working on it, and the more I see him, the less anxious I become.
At the moment I'm dealing with fear of intimacy with him. But I'm taking it as it comes, taking my time, and building up my trust in him. He is very patient and seems understanding. I do tend to beat myself up about it though, but he says he likes me just as I am.
I don't want to run away from this, so I am just seeking answers to my confusion and anxiety as I need them. Reading helps, as does talking to both counsellors and friends.
What about you, The Wall? Do you have a boy/girlfriend?
We finally took it to the next level when at a movie-watching party, I got slightly drunk and leant against him on the couch all night. To cut a long story short, the next week he rang and asked me on a date.
That was about three months ago and I'm still with him, and happy.
I've never been in a happy relationship before (I'm 25), and I've never been in a relationship longer than 4 months, but I feel like it will be longer than 4 months with this guy.
Yes, I told him about SA. My SA is only with dating, so it was a big thing for me to even accept a date- I do get asked out occasionally, and I usually accept, but after 2 dates I can't stand the anxiety and make excuses not to see the guy any more.
But there was something different about this guy - I was scared, but didn't want to run away. I had to have some counselling in the early part of the dating, which really helped, as did having supportive friends.
I actually told him after one date about SA - which really freaked him out, but after talking to his friends about it, he must have felt that he had seen more to me than just my SA (I also have OCD, which I have told him about - but my OCD is fairly under control). I have also had a panic attack in front of him, but even that didn't scare him off! I still get anxious when going to meet him, but I'm working on it, and the more I see him, the less anxious I become.
At the moment I'm dealing with fear of intimacy with him. But I'm taking it as it comes, taking my time, and building up my trust in him. He is very patient and seems understanding. I do tend to beat myself up about it though, but he says he likes me just as I am.
I don't want to run away from this, so I am just seeking answers to my confusion and anxiety as I need them. Reading helps, as does talking to both counsellors and friends.
What about you, The Wall? Do you have a boy/girlfriend?
bretters
Well-known member
I met mine at a gig, i went with my very talkive friend, who started talking to her friend. we took them for a drink after and walked them home, she then got my number off my friend and started txting me. luck really that she liked me.
At that time i wasnt looking for a relationship, to me it just came out of no where. I pretty or much gave up on relationships, i find them very hard, trust and all... I told her after afew dates about my depression/ SA, she handled it well. I think the txting at the begining for afew months helped alot,that way i guess you know what to expect from someone instead of just jumping into something blind.
yes its hard meeting people with SA, its all about risk, and sometimes it pays off.
At that time i wasnt looking for a relationship, to me it just came out of no where. I pretty or much gave up on relationships, i find them very hard, trust and all... I told her after afew dates about my depression/ SA, she handled it well. I think the txting at the begining for afew months helped alot,that way i guess you know what to expect from someone instead of just jumping into something blind.
yes its hard meeting people with SA, its all about risk, and sometimes it pays off.
Sikwitit
Member
I dont have one anymore 
ive had alot of g/f's but it never was a replationship that lasted long.
They liked my personality but they found out how much i hated going out to clubs etc..rather stay home play video games an smoke, so hey maybe ill find a girl who likes to just hangout talk about nothing smoke an play videogames.
ive had alot of g/f's but it never was a replationship that lasted long. They liked my personality but they found out how much i hated going out to clubs etc..rather stay home play video games an smoke, so hey maybe ill find a girl who likes to just hangout talk about nothing smoke an play videogames.
noblame4
Well-known member
I'm 21 and I've only been in one relationship. The whole thing took about a year out of my life. That's way the fuck longer than it should have lasted, but misery loves company. The whole thing was rather traumatic and I dont put a lot of effort into doing it again. Real people cant compare with fantasies.
As for how we got together, the whole thing was rather uncommon. It was the spring of my senior year of high school, and I went with my (one, haha) friend to the downtown area of my city to walk around and shop. In one of the shops I noticed this pretty boy milling around by himself. I costomarily kept my eyes glued to the floor and took my shirt to the cashier. When I got done paying for it, I turned around to leave and almost bumped into him because he was standing right behind me. He started talking and didnt stop all eavening, he followed me and my friend around the rest of the day, went out to eat with us. Looking back, that probably should have creeped us out, but like I said, he was a pretty boy, so we didnt mind (women. haha). So I didnt have to do anything, he just lodged himself into my life. I was really happy for the first few months, but I had so many problems, my then unidentified SAD and depression was this huge annoyance to him, and he had this ongoing inferiority complex wich he took out on me all the time by cheating on me, making fun of me ext, because I was so lonely and clingy I let him. That was by far the darkest and most pathetic time of my life.
I learned a lot from that experience, though. Particularly that I REFUSE to be a clingy, pathetic woman EVER AGAIN! I'm much more comfortable with myself now. I'd rather be lonely with my pride than get affection for being a tool.
I'm pretty pessimistic about relationships now, but if I met a guy who could get to know me and still like me and be nice to me, I'd go for it again. (the problem is, where is this guy?! While he's out there dicking around, I'm getting stuck with assholes and the tab at the waffle house!)
As for how we got together, the whole thing was rather uncommon. It was the spring of my senior year of high school, and I went with my (one, haha) friend to the downtown area of my city to walk around and shop. In one of the shops I noticed this pretty boy milling around by himself. I costomarily kept my eyes glued to the floor and took my shirt to the cashier. When I got done paying for it, I turned around to leave and almost bumped into him because he was standing right behind me. He started talking and didnt stop all eavening, he followed me and my friend around the rest of the day, went out to eat with us. Looking back, that probably should have creeped us out, but like I said, he was a pretty boy, so we didnt mind (women. haha). So I didnt have to do anything, he just lodged himself into my life. I was really happy for the first few months, but I had so many problems, my then unidentified SAD and depression was this huge annoyance to him, and he had this ongoing inferiority complex wich he took out on me all the time by cheating on me, making fun of me ext, because I was so lonely and clingy I let him. That was by far the darkest and most pathetic time of my life.
I learned a lot from that experience, though. Particularly that I REFUSE to be a clingy, pathetic woman EVER AGAIN! I'm much more comfortable with myself now. I'd rather be lonely with my pride than get affection for being a tool.
I'm pretty pessimistic about relationships now, but if I met a guy who could get to know me and still like me and be nice to me, I'd go for it again. (the problem is, where is this guy?! While he's out there dicking around, I'm getting stuck with assholes and the tab at the waffle house!)
proudmummy
Well-known member
I met my boyfriend through a friend who fancied me, but I didnt like his friend as he seemed to try too hard which I hate, ironically enough I like it when they're laid back which is what my boyfriend is like. Anyway, I just randomly met them when I was out with a few friends in a park when I was 16. I was asked for my number from my boyfriend's friend and asked to meet up later. I met up with them quite often and I found myself liking my boyfriend more than his friend. Me and my boyfriend started meeting up innocently as friends but then we started drinking together with friends and things just happened. He finished with his ex girlfriend and asked me out after about two weeks of meeting up behind his friends back. I fancied him so much so I was over the moon, I'm still with him now 4 years later and with a baby
My boyfriend is much more outgoing and whenever I say to him about my "shyness" he says I'm not!! but of course hes gonna say that - he sees the real me!! he has helped me find new friends though and he does help build my confidence.
My boyfriend is much more outgoing and whenever I say to him about my "shyness" he says I'm not!! but of course hes gonna say that - he sees the real me!! he has helped me find new friends though and he does help build my confidence.
BBCC
Member
Well I just got dumped. Just found out about my SA after I got dumped. We met in high school and I knew her for 4 years (never said a word to her I swear) one day SR year she gave me a picture with her # on it saying she really needs to talk to me. We talk she said she liked me, we hooked up. She put up with me for 4 years after HS we both didnt know I had a problem, she just dumped me..... Im sad and lonely. My advice.... find someone that you can have fun with.... looks should not matter
lazylinepainter
Member
..
danb
New member
I met my girlfriend on one of the best days of my life.
Me and a friend I was living with at the time went to a meeting about working on a summer camp in the USA - not really the kind of thing I'd usually do, but I think having such a good friend brought out a lot of confidence in me. You know those days where everything seems to just go right, everything you say is funny and you feel on top of the world (I haven't had many of these days!!).
We were sitting in the meeting laughing and joking on, and afterwards we were walking down the street and a few people had left; some on their own and some in groups, and I saw this beautifull girl who I had spoken to a little bit earlier on. I caught up to her and asked her a few questions and joked on a little bit and managed to get her number (later she said I was charming 8O)
I didn't really have any contact with her after that until after camp, apparently she was going through her numbers deleting old ones and remembered me so she sent me a text and we ended up going out as friends (I was still confident then) and after a while we started dating. It's now been 2 years and living together for 1 and I couldn't ask for a more supportive relationship. She knows all of my problems and me for who I truly am, she really is an angel.
I have sortof lost a lot of the confidence that my friendship built up because now it is no longer really the same as it used to be, I feel like it's more judgemental but this may be because of my own perceptions/negative thoughts) and I find it hard to start new friendships (I find it difficult to find joy in things/share in interests/have a bond with guys) but it is something that I am working on.
I wish I could be better than I am for her because she deserves the best, but she understands why I am the way I am and is very accepting of me, so in a way, even with the social anxiety, I am a very very lucky guy.
Me and a friend I was living with at the time went to a meeting about working on a summer camp in the USA - not really the kind of thing I'd usually do, but I think having such a good friend brought out a lot of confidence in me. You know those days where everything seems to just go right, everything you say is funny and you feel on top of the world (I haven't had many of these days!!).
We were sitting in the meeting laughing and joking on, and afterwards we were walking down the street and a few people had left; some on their own and some in groups, and I saw this beautifull girl who I had spoken to a little bit earlier on. I caught up to her and asked her a few questions and joked on a little bit and managed to get her number (later she said I was charming 8O)
I didn't really have any contact with her after that until after camp, apparently she was going through her numbers deleting old ones and remembered me so she sent me a text and we ended up going out as friends (I was still confident then) and after a while we started dating. It's now been 2 years and living together for 1 and I couldn't ask for a more supportive relationship. She knows all of my problems and me for who I truly am, she really is an angel.
I have sortof lost a lot of the confidence that my friendship built up because now it is no longer really the same as it used to be, I feel like it's more judgemental but this may be because of my own perceptions/negative thoughts) and I find it hard to start new friendships (I find it difficult to find joy in things/share in interests/have a bond with guys) but it is something that I am working on.
I wish I could be better than I am for her because she deserves the best, but she understands why I am the way I am and is very accepting of me, so in a way, even with the social anxiety, I am a very very lucky guy.
Danfalc
Banned
I met my angel of a girlfriend off this site Maybe about 3 years ago now... Id actualy given up on all hope of having a good relationship and life aswell tbh,I was sucididal had just kicked a drug addiction and was just in a bad way.
She completley turned my life around and is the best thing which has ever happend to me I actualy first noticed her posts on here before i even spoke to her sorta thing and they sorta made her stand out to me,despite having a really hard time with her problems and that she still managed to I dunno... be so posative and fun.But yeah we started pm'ing each other now and again cos i thought she was a really sweet girl and i wanted to help her and be there just if she needed someone to talk to.and we got quite close as mates cos we just suppoted each other.
She eventualy,posted some pictures on here... ad that was it,i already had a huge soft spot for her personality and bam... she was and still is the prettiest girl i had ever laid eyes on.(Apparently thats when she fell for me aswell when she saw my pics ).We started speaking to each other on msn... and i really tried to not fall totaly in love with her because there was an age gap...were quite a distance apart.. and I cared for her so much i thought it would be beter nothing came of it because i was sure id only end up hurting her cos iwouldnt be good enough.
We talked for like 6 months... and there was just this such strong chesitry,we could both sence it,but at the same time we were both really depressed and insecure and shy lol... so i think we both knew but were scared to make the first move :roll: .but eventualy i told her i loved her and weve been together since.She really is my life.. my soul mate.. everything.After 3 years i still get buttaflies thinking bout her,Im in love with her but still just fancy the arse off her aswell :lol:
Anyway sorry for the long super soppy post lmao... just hope this might give other people out there hope,I was such a mess when we got together... and tbh i still am... yet this girl of my dreams for some reason can see past all my problems... insecurities ect You know shes totaly out of me leauge but shes stood by me through thick and thin.I was close to ending my life before i met her.. so it just goes to show ya really dont know whats round the corner.
Maybe about 3 years ago now... Id actualy given up on all hope of having a good relationship and life aswell tbh,I was sucididal had just kicked a drug addiction and was just in a bad way.She completley turned my life around and is the best thing which has ever happend to me
I actualy first noticed her posts on here before i even spoke to her sorta thing and they sorta made her stand out to me,despite having a really hard time with her problems and that she still managed to I dunno... be so posative and fun.But yeah we started pm'ing each other now and again cos i thought she was a really sweet girl and i wanted to help her and be there just if she needed someone to talk to.and we got quite close as mates cos we just suppoted each other.She eventualy,posted some pictures on here... ad that was it,i already had a huge soft spot for her personality and bam... she was and still is the prettiest girl i had ever laid eyes on.(Apparently thats when she fell for me aswell when she saw my pics
).We started speaking to each other on msn... and i really tried to not fall totaly in love with her because there was an age gap...were quite a distance apart.. and I cared for her so much i thought it would be beter nothing came of it because i was sure id only end up hurting her cos iwouldnt be good enough.We talked for like 6 months... and there was just this such strong chesitry,we could both sence it,but at the same time we were both really depressed and insecure and shy lol... so i think we both knew but were scared to make the first move :roll: .but eventualy i told her i loved her and weve been together since.She really is my life.. my soul mate.. everything.After 3 years i still get buttaflies thinking bout her,Im in love with her but still just fancy the arse off her aswell :lol:
Anyway sorry for the long super soppy post lmao... just hope this might give other people out there hope,I was such a mess when we got together... and tbh i still am... yet this girl of my dreams for some reason can see past all my problems... insecurities ect You know shes totaly out of me leauge but shes stood by me through thick and thin.I was close to ending my life before i met her.. so it just goes to show ya really dont know whats round the corner.