..

[Depressed4life]

I just can't take it anymore i want to die. I have no goal in life no future whatsoever. My mom doesn't care about me neither does my father. My mom cares only about her 3 other daughters that she had with another man that are in their 30s. SHe sends them everything and to her grandkids. I was telling her how i had a problem with a teacher who failed me although she wasn't suppose to and she IGNORED ME. I don't have a lot of friends...i dress like crap, i look like crap, i am stupid for being so anxious about small things. I never go out anywhere, i dont like talking on the phone...LETsee...I am a waste of a HUMAN.

 

[sidney]

nobody's life is a waste its just how you choose to live it
your fate may not be decided yet but just give it time, you never know whats round the corner, just keep a little hope & try to find someone who will care for you, im sure they're out there somewhere go have a look lol

 

[Depressed4life]

I have a bf who is in another country. I just pretty just can't take it anymore. I had enough of life and my fuccking parents and everything else around me. It is my parent's fault and i am just tired of breathing of being depressed, unhappy.....i just want to go to hell and thats it.

 

[sidney]

but why?
you know hell will be more torment than here? why wud u want it to get any worse?

 

[Depressed4life]

Because my life is over. I am a senior and i won't be doing any of the activities thanks to my parents. I missed the senior trip/senior skating night and i wont go to prom or cruise. What's the point of living? WHen i get to be 30 i won't have any memories of my teenage years. In high school no one will remember me because i am a nobody who has no friend. I am not outgoing or anything so what's the point of living if i am somebody who i dont want to be. What's the point of living if i am not looking toward the future(because i don't see none) if everything i do, i do it because my parents want to not because i want to. I want to drop out of school and not go to college but no i have to go because of my parents. I never get anything i want so why should i continue living a life that is all about them and not about me. I want to be skinny like i used to not some fat (bi(tch). I want to smile because i feel it and not fake it. Life is being nothing but a bittch to me, so why should i live when i have no motivate to be alive?
When every step in life i take, i wish i was dead or i wish i could change my life with someone else. When i hear people talk of how good their life are and this and that. I had enough already, is been 16 years and i am ready to end it all. Years of emptiness, years of being locked up in an apartment, years of not being able to express myself, years of being unhappy, years of figthing, years of suffering and pain, years of just basicly crap. I never been happy so why live when life is precious to someone else and not to me. Nobody would give a sh..it if i die so why live? WHy live if life means nothing to me, and the future would not make it better. Also i am already old, i already wasted 16 years of my life that i would never get back. So why live?........

 

[bubblegumbg]

Look at it this way, it's your senior year. You've made it this far. Once you graduate you'll be off to college. You can live on campus and get away from your parents. If you can't afford it, get a loan. Colleges offer loans that you don't have to pay off until after you graduate.
If you want to lose weight, do it. If you need help, or want someone you can talk to, I'm here. I'm going through the same thing. If you're stuck in your room, put on some music and do some sit ups. It's hard to start, and often hard to stick with, but when the pounds start coming off, it'll be worth it.

 

[Depressed4life]

I don't want to go away to be honest, i will be depressed and alone. I just want to die. I don't want to go to college either....I see myself with no future or anything.

 

[bubblegumbg]

I'm sorry you feel that way. I'd love to help you, and I'm sure there are plenty of others who would as well, but there's little we can do if you don't want it.

 

[elizabeth86]

I know this may be really annoying to hear, but bear in mind that you are still very young. Between the ages of 16-18, I was extremely depressed too. Ended up in hospital twice, "hated" my mum, ran away for 8 months. I lost a lot of my friends. Now 3 years later, I have barely any friends, however I can see now that life is definately worth living. Again, this may come across quite condescending, but at that age it's quite hard to see the bigger picture. I think hormones and immaturity have a lot to do with some of the emotions I felt, and possibly the emotions you're feeling.
Please trust me that things WILL get better. You just need to hang in there and keep trying. I'm not saying life will be perfect when you're a few years older, but you'll definately find things that make it worthwhile.

I apologize if anything I said came across rude; it's definately not how I meant it. I wish someone had guarenteed to me at that age that things get easier, although I doubt I would have believed them.
Take care

 

[Depressed4life]

Oh no you are not sounding rude. I just feel like my life is over already. I am somebody that i am not because of my parents, is not my inner self. I have to pretend that i am so kind of saint when i am not. I just want to die because my life is never going to change and even if it does i find no point in living because i already waste 16 years, which are suppose to be the best years of your life. In my case it wasn't.

 

[shon]

Oh no you are not sounding rude. I just feel like my life is over already. I am somebody that i am not because of my parents, is not my inner self. I have to pretend that i am so kind of saint when i am not. I just want to die because my life is never going to change and even if it does i find no point in living because i already waste 16 years, which are suppose to be the best years of your life. In my case it wasn't.

Your teenage years don't have to be the best years of your life. Mine sucked too. When I think back to the first 17 yrs of my life, they all sucked. I did meet a great guy later on and the good memories I have are ones from when I was an adult and had more control over my own life. Sure, I can't control my SA and how I feel a lot but my point is, maybe when you're 30, you'll look back at being 20 and just remember your good years, not the painful ones.

 

[Depressed4life]

I don't want to be 20 for what? to be depressed and anxious and have a fukked up family. I just want to die.

 

[elizabeth86]

How do you know things won't get better? Do you plan on going to college/university after school? If so, and depends where you are, you can move away from your parents and live on campus. Otherwise, you can get a fulltime job and move out. If your parents tell you you HAVE to go to college.. Well, realistically, you're an adult and can make that decision for yourself.
Are you currently getting treatment for your anxiety? If not, then definately seek treatment. Most usually start working after about a month or 2. So you might start making friends when it starts working.

As I said earlier, you really need to realise that HORMONES are really affecting your outlook at the moment. It's a phase we all go through. And it gets better. Your brain is also changing at the moment, which affects your behaviours and attitudes. Scientific studies have been done on it.

Why don't you get a hobby? I know that sounds lame.. But when I was in school, I used to listen to music ALL the time. It really helped. Maybe you could try that? (preferrably none of that emo garbage haha). Otherwise, perhaps you like reading? Or movies? I was really into movies too. It is a great distraction. These are just some examples of some other things that you can take pleasure in, if you're not finding it in friends and family.

Remember you can always talk to us.

 

[Depressed4life]

...

I just know things won't get better. I haven't planned nothing for college because i am not interested in going although i am going to attend it. I have no energy for anything, no desire to live, no desire to breath, no desire to walk, no desire to go outside and deal with people. I listen to music all day and nothing changes. I am the same depressed/anxious waste of sh.it that i am. I am so tired that i don't even care, i will most likely be a bum in the streets starving when i am 20. I am not looking toward the future at all, so i don't even waste my time planning. How stupid and lame was i for thinking back then that i would be happy and change things, and look at me? Every day it gets worst. I called a psychologist but i backed off. I don't want to go out of my house, i hate people.

 

[gh1234]

i know you're in distress but look at it this way.... there are many people out there that would die to have your life.. i'm not kidding! you're lucky you have parents and is able to go to school then college, you're lucky you have a home. There are many people out there that are starving, have no parents or friends, really poor, and all that other stuff which are bad and they would not ever think so negatively like you are right now.. so just try and cheer up... try and concentrate on things you are good at or makes you feel good about yourself.. if u can't do that then do something enjoyable. Just imagine that you are the lucky ones, try to improve your life by exercising.. being more social. And remember, there are always people that want your life.

 

[Depressed4life]

I am sorry perhasp i sound very annoying but i can't do it. People would die to have my life, i bet not. So what if i have a home i rather be poor and starving and happy. My life is garbage, i am a robot basicly. I don't care about education because in school i had a lot a lot a lot of bad times with ppl bothering me and being bullies and stuff. I hate my life, and my parents, i hate them. How i wish i wasn't born and the bi.tch of my mother should had aborted me. I don't like her, its her fu.cking fault that i am depressed. I hate both of my parents, when one day they get old, i am not going to feed them, i will let them starve. My mother could asked her 3 other daughters to help her since she love them so much, although they are in their 30s she works hard for them and not for me. All she does is called her stupid native country and talk sh.it and i hate her family those f hypocrites. When i visit them they try to control me and get me in trouble with the bi.tch of my mother and my mom BELIEVES EVERYTHING THEY SAY. I barely have any clothes and those ppl have more clothes than me, i go to school with my pants that are fuking ripping off in the middle and she knows and she doesn't care. Why she has to send everything to her stupid family? I hope all of them burn in hell, they also contributed to my damn depression because my mom is like hypnotize by them, she sends them clothes, food and money whenever they ask. One of her daughters stole so much money from my mother, and she didn't even said anything to her and neither did her family over there but if it was me, my mom would had disown me. I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT TO HAVE MY LIFE? I CAN'T TALK TO PPL IN SCHOOL, PPL MAKE ME MAD AND IRRITATED SO I JUST IGNORED THEM.
MY PARENTS...SHOULD I SAY WHAT PARENTS? THEY DON'T LISTEN TO ME, THEY DON'T GIVE A SH.IT ABOUT ME. ALL THEY FUC.KING CARE IS THAT I ACT LIKE A SAINT SO THE PPL WON'T TALK ABOUT US AND SO THAT THEY CAN THINK WE ARE A GOOD FAMILY PLEASE...I DON'T EVEN SPEAK TO MY FATHER AND HE LIVES IN THE SAME HOUSE. MY MOM TOLD ME THAT I WOULD HAVE NO FUTURE, THAT I WOULD BE A CRIMINAL AND SELL DRUGS IN THE FUTURE, AND THAT SHE SHOULD HAD NEVER HAD ME...SHES RIGHT IN THAT PART. WHO WOULD LIKE TO HAVE MY FUC.KED UP PARENTS BECAUSE I WILL TRADE THEM NOW!!