this girl and her "tribe mentality"...

I know this girl... I've been trying to go out with her but she always tells me that she doesn't want to meet anyone new. She doesn't want to go out with me because she already has her group of friends and she doesn't want to go out with anyone new.

So I'm guessing she won't want to meet anyone new unless she is REALLY turned on by that person, or that person is included in that group.

What gives?

Maybe she's making up an excuse because she's not interested in you, or maybe she's telling the truth, it's impossible to tell.

SickJoke said:

Maybe she's making up an excuse because she's not interested in you, or maybe she's telling the truth, it's impossible to tell.

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Yup i actualy agree for once Thats it in a nut shell.Try and not take it too personaly no1 Not everyone clicks.

Danfalc said:

Yup i actualy agree for once

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What?! That's not supposed to happen! Let me think of something controversial to say

no1, drop this girl like a bad habit, there's plenty of girls out there!

Don't take this the wrong way, but you're being too desperate. Girls aren't attracted to people who frequently ask them out. It tends to give out an aura of low status. And that's the #1 turn-off for any animal on earth - including humans.

In order to attract females, you have to do something about your personality (i.e. the way you carry yourself), appearance, etc. that makes you appear valuable. Everyone has their own style of doing this, but anything that gives off a brand of higher status will do the trick.

I mean, think about yourself. Why are you attracted to a specific female? Because you think starting a relationship with her will highly benefit your life. It works the other way too! In order for females to be attracted to you, they have to perceive that their lives will benefit as well if they choose you.

as far as I know I think I am valuable. The only real problem I've had is that I've been alone for so long that it makes me very irritated.

Sometimes if you keep trying to get her it can work, sometimes it doesn't, sometimes they just get turned off by it. You hear of those stories where those girls say the guy didn't give up and I just fell for him. Of course there are those stories that exist in the contrary- girls that turn down guys that keep trying- lol. Me being me, I'd a just given up. I found there's a range of people out there: some that are receptive and have good follow through, others flaky, hard to get people, not receptive, full of excuses (whether valid or not); she seems to fall in the latter category. Since life is as hard as it is already, I prefer the former category of people!! Take it from me! I've been there (where you have), I give up on those kind of people! (ie unreceptive people) But I know you might keep trying because it might be a "challenge" because people tend to want what they can't have.. and people lose interest in what is easy to get for them- human nature..oh well.

forgot to say, I would take everything they say and do at face value, and not try reading in to it too much. trust me, if someone's interested in you, it shouldn't be so difficult. so if they say a lot of negative things, ie I'm busy, not interested, don't want to meet people, take it as it is.

OP: Realise that you're unique, special and one of a kind {not the most valuable person in the world, though} and that you're worthy of a girl. And she'll come along somehow, sometime, somewhere. When you'll least expect it.

Havocan said:

And she'll come along somehow, sometime, somewhere. When you'll least expect it.

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There is absolutely NO guarantee that this will happen. This isn't some fairy land we're living in.

As much as it sucks, I think the value of so many superficial pursuits is to only end up "more valuable." It's why people exercise and buy trendy clothes that don't even look good.

NormanBates said:

As much as it sucks, I think the value of so many superficial pursuits is to only end up "more valuable." It's why people exercise and buy trendy clothes that don't even look good.

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Sure, but animals do it all the time:

Why do you think female elk consider the size of their mate's antlers before mating?

Why do you think female peacocks are bedazzled by the colorful feathers of their male counterparts?

Why do you think female guppies pay special attention to the gaudy tailfins of male guppies?

[I could go on and on...]

I know we as humans try to be as idealistic as possible, but this is something that we can't escape. All livings things strive for a successful life, (i.e. high survival, high chance of reproduction, emotional support, financial support, etc). And part of achieving this requires attaining a partner that can help in these pursuits. You won't be attracted to something that's not going to improve your life in some way.

Also, becoming more "valuable" doesn't necessarily mean exercising or buying trendy clothes. In fact, I'd say it's the weakest way to do it. Accepting yourself and becoming more confident with your abilities is the most attractive thing you can do. Because part of being more valuable is BELIEVING you're more valuable.