Therapeutic or not?

Hello to all of you. This is my first post so thought I'd introduce myself. I'm a 29-year-old male from Finland, I like music (mostly metal & hard rock), computers, genuine warmness in people. I was diagnosed with SAD about a month ago when I finally mustered enough courage to go see a psychiatrist. He put me on Cipralex, I'm at 15mg now but haven't really experienced improvement in my condition, perhaps something minimal. I'm supposed to start CBT too next month.

To my question then. The situation is like this: I've been playing an online game for a long time, last weekend we had a meeting, there were 13 of us I think. Anyway, I did the only thing I can to manage through that kind of social event, I drank so much alcohol I was completely wasted. I had a digital camera with me and shot lots of videos. Now, with that much alcohol I don't have any anxiety, but the problem is that I also am so stupid and annoying that I probably embarassed myself more times than I can count.

I couldn't stand to watch those videos, they were so horrible. So my actual question is, could it have a therapeutic effect to just force myself to watch them, and try to think that "see, you made a complete fool out of yourself and still it wasn't the end of the world". Or would I just cause more pain and anxiety to myself?

Thanks for your reply. I guess I should just force myself to watch those videos, at least I am speaking! It's just that I don't recognize myself, I'm so out of control which is like the very thing I am scared of.

Quite a risky business this alcohol-thing

I think it depends on how self-critical you are. Are you normally you own judge and jury or are you able to remain objective?

I personally would crucify myself because Im my own worst critic. I only have to say one stupid thing and Im obssessing about it for weeks on end.

Maybe just hang on to the tape until you feel you are able to not be too over sensitive about what you see. After all your obviously aware of your behaviour so maybe its just a lesson learnt and another point on the learning curve and you wont need to see the tape, you will just know not to get so rat-arsed next time.

Incidently drinking whilst on medication is not good and was probably adding to the problem anyway

I am normally exceptionally critical about my actions, kinda like you said, obsessing about some slightly embarassing things for weeks or months. I haven't slept in two days now, I'm just thinking about everything that happened, over and over again.

And I agree, the meds probably made it worse, but I just didn't see any other way. Alcohol is really the only thing that can make me less anxious. And I would probably do it again in a same kind of situation. So everyone will think I'm a semi-normal person, just had too much to drink.

And one thing that really makes me wonder, many people seem to like you more when you say stupid things and are less polite. I just don't get it. Perhaps if I really understood this, I could start recovering.

If it doesn't help to watch them, you can bring the self-therapy to the next level by uploading the video on YouTube.

And one thing that really makes me wonder, many people seem to like you more when you say stupid things and are less polite. I just don't get it. Perhaps if I really understood this, I could start recovering.

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Birds of a feather flock together. Most people are just really stupid - and like everyone else, they, too, love similarity.

Don't watch, it will haunt you.