This is just some stuff I remember from when I was younger. It need to get it off my chest 
I wonder how much it has to do with how I am today.
*lays down on the couch*
I last had friends up to about 1999 at the very latest. I would have been 12 then. It was only a couple of people, and we were kind of a group of three. Somewhere between then and starting school I'd met them and started walking to and from school with them.
We did a little bit together, but for some reason I only joined them around where we lived. I think they'd occasionally for example go on the bus to somewhere, but with other people and I never went with them. Never got asked to.
I always felt like I was out of the loop and was just an extra wheel. When we walked to school, it was normally with other people too. Often they would be chatting away about things they'd done. I had no idea what they were talking about, and had no way to join in. I mean, yes, looking back at it now, maybe I could have tried to ask about those things. But I don't know if that would have gone anywhere. I think a lot of the time they were things that I wasn't interested in anyway. I just ended up giving up and wandering along with them quietly.
They were always in a different class to me, so that didn't help. I only saw them when I was walking with them to and from school. When that stopped, for whatever reason, I just didn't see them any more, and never did again. They were always somewhere else and there you go, I had no friends. I didn't have any before them, I didn't have any after them. I'm quite used to it. Nothing happened until I started working where I am now, and even then, it's only starting to change, gradually - hopefully.
I don't know if this was a cause or an effect of SA. It looks more like an effect to me actually. I never could make any more friends, just like I can't now. I like quiet time by myself and I always did. Maybe I did never fit in properly. Maybe it was all in my head.
Err, so yeah, make of that what you will...
I wonder how much it has to do with how I am today.*lays down on the couch*
I last had friends up to about 1999 at the very latest. I would have been 12 then. It was only a couple of people, and we were kind of a group of three. Somewhere between then and starting school I'd met them and started walking to and from school with them.
We did a little bit together, but for some reason I only joined them around where we lived. I think they'd occasionally for example go on the bus to somewhere, but with other people and I never went with them. Never got asked to.
I always felt like I was out of the loop and was just an extra wheel. When we walked to school, it was normally with other people too. Often they would be chatting away about things they'd done. I had no idea what they were talking about, and had no way to join in. I mean, yes, looking back at it now, maybe I could have tried to ask about those things. But I don't know if that would have gone anywhere. I think a lot of the time they were things that I wasn't interested in anyway. I just ended up giving up and wandering along with them quietly.
They were always in a different class to me, so that didn't help. I only saw them when I was walking with them to and from school. When that stopped, for whatever reason, I just didn't see them any more, and never did again. They were always somewhere else and there you go, I had no friends. I didn't have any before them, I didn't have any after them. I'm quite used to it. Nothing happened until I started working where I am now, and even then, it's only starting to change, gradually - hopefully.
I don't know if this was a cause or an effect of SA. It looks more like an effect to me actually. I never could make any more friends, just like I can't now. I like quiet time by myself and I always did. Maybe I did never fit in properly. Maybe it was all in my head.
Err, so yeah, make of that what you will...