stuck in the middle

does anyone else feel that they want to so******e, just not all of the time?

I dont mind being alone most of the time. I can usually entertain myself whether through TV, gaming, books etc or even my own thoughts, I am rarely bored but sometimes I get the urge for human contact.
When this happens I will ring my mates up and see what they are doing. We will usually go to the pub or round someone's house and I have a good time.

However I want to go home after awhile and usually long before my mates do because I suddenly feel drained and need some time alone to recuperate.
I find myself making excuses to go home or if I cant find one I end up not enjoying myself and worry its coming across to them.

They will normally want to do something the next day aswell and have something to do every day at the weekend however I would be happier with going out just once or twice a week.

I dont like doing it but I will make up excuses that I cant go out and make up other things that I am doing instead because I dont want to tell them I would rather sit at home doing nothing and if I told them that they might take offence and think that I dont like hanging out with them.

If I preferred being alone and hated people it might be easier because I would just avoid them and if I was the complete opposite it would be great. But I feel im somewhere in the middle.

I guess another one of my problems is I value too much what other people think of me and if people thought of me as the unsociable type it would bother me that they might have a negative opinion of me. I dont hate people, I have a desire to be liked and loved by people. It makes me feel happy knowing that there are people who care about me or love me but I just find it all so draining sometimes managing it all. It makes me depressed if I think someone doesn't like me.

At the moment I am struggling hence why I am posting. I have been dating this girl recently and she seems really interested we've been out about 5 times and met about once or twice a week. This is my doing because I have been pretending most of the time to be too busy to meet up more often.
I really like her and because I like her I try really hard to be confident and impress when were out but its so draining. I guess there's still a part of me that feels inadequate because of my previous experiences with sa and I don't want to see her too often in case she grows to think I am boring or annoying or something. I only have so much to give and when I get drained I do loose a lot of my social ability.
But I like the fact she's interested in me, it makes me feel good inside but that's only when were apart funny enough because when were together even now after 5 dates I still get nervous about meeting up and I guess that's my fear of messing it up.
I seem to feel this way every time I date someone and my relationships never last long.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

umm yep lol..im very introverted and have exact same problem as you..i do like to be alone most of the time but i also do want to build a social circle but i find this to be incredibly difficult when you only want to hang out with your friends on the rare occasion..i mean, if i hang out with my friends once a week or so, that is plenty but it isnt for them..they invite me to do more things and i feel either like a deadbeat or like a **** when i decline their invitations so i will force myself to do a few of them but this burns me out quickly and i stop accepting invitations and we grow apart and friendship is over..most of my friends have much more extroverted friends that like to hang out much more often so they gravitate towards those..i have no clue how to remedy this situation..its been the story of my life though since high school...

when it comes to serious relationships with opposite sex, im same way..i pretend to be busy so i dont have to see them more often but they generally want more contact so it just dies out..the last 3-4 women i have been with, it goes this way every time..ive largely gotten past the nerves part of hanging out with these women its just the whole social aspect that i find tiring and just well, not that interesting..i just need a lot of time away from people or else i feel overwhelmed or just bored...

i just created a thread almost identical to this..interested to hear replies..

I find keeping friends difficult too. I seem to make them a lot easier nowdays as I have got a lot better at controlling anxiety and improved my social skills somewhat but for me its the energy and effort it takes to maintain some of them that is the problem now and has been in the past aswell.
Do you have a socially demanding job? I feel quite often that as my job is socially demanding I feel tired when I get home and not wanting to so******e. This makes it difficult when friends want to go out all the time. When I have days off I feel better and sometimes actively seek out my friends to hang out.

i have a job where i need to be social and work with others for the most part..every day after work i definitely look forward to solitude..even on days off i find myself enjoying solitude, its only maybe once a week where i want to seek out a friend to do something..