Sacrament
Well-known member
Bearing in mind that you have SA and your whole family was going to be there?
Mine was... Strange, as usual. At first I wanted to keep greeting my family as they came one by one so it would be easier (instead of greeting them all at once). I managed to do that with a few family members, but then the ones I felt the least comfortable around finally came. I was in my bedroom when they did, and was absolutely terrified. Everyone was 'happy' and jolly downstairs, and I had no idea how the hell I was going to build up the courage to go. I kept watching TV in a mix of wanting to go and being so afraid, so I turned off the TV and went to the balcony listen to some music on my mp3 player. About 20min passed when my father went up to my room asking me to go downstairs but I refused. He was mad, naturally. Finally, I was a bit closer to going downstairs and getting it done with. I kept staring at the stairs for about ten minutes, freaking out. Then I just said "fuck it" and went for it. Everyone was supportive and my aunt even told me that I didn't necessarily have to greet everyone (you know, kisses and so forth), but I did. Then I did the same to my cousins and tried having random conversation so it would't be awkward. I've always liked everyone in my family, but I feel so fucking embarassed nowadays and it really hurts because I like spending time with them. I make them laugh and they make me laugh as well. I REALLY didn't want this Christmas eve to pass and regret not having the guts to spend time with my family like any regular person does, so now there is no guilty conscience for me, which is a good thing.
How was yours?
Mine was... Strange, as usual. At first I wanted to keep greeting my family as they came one by one so it would be easier (instead of greeting them all at once). I managed to do that with a few family members, but then the ones I felt the least comfortable around finally came. I was in my bedroom when they did, and was absolutely terrified. Everyone was 'happy' and jolly downstairs, and I had no idea how the hell I was going to build up the courage to go. I kept watching TV in a mix of wanting to go and being so afraid, so I turned off the TV and went to the balcony listen to some music on my mp3 player. About 20min passed when my father went up to my room asking me to go downstairs but I refused. He was mad, naturally. Finally, I was a bit closer to going downstairs and getting it done with. I kept staring at the stairs for about ten minutes, freaking out. Then I just said "fuck it" and went for it. Everyone was supportive and my aunt even told me that I didn't necessarily have to greet everyone (you know, kisses and so forth), but I did. Then I did the same to my cousins and tried having random conversation so it would't be awkward. I've always liked everyone in my family, but I feel so fucking embarassed nowadays and it really hurts because I like spending time with them. I make them laugh and they make me laugh as well. I REALLY didn't want this Christmas eve to pass and regret not having the guts to spend time with my family like any regular person does, so now there is no guilty conscience for me, which is a good thing.
How was yours?
