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That'd be a horrible feeling. But if a heart attack is sudden and severe enough that someone goes off the road and presumably loses consciousness, their chances of survival were low even if a paramedic were on the scene immediately. And probably hundreds of other people passed by doing nothing...

There's a hereditary aspect for some people, and not for others. Being raised by the people you inherited from is often a bigger influence. Personally, I think there has to be a genetic component in my case for many reasons. Both of my parents were unusually shy kids -- but not as extreme as I...

I only act when I'm literally recording lines from a script (which makes good voice practice and a chance to imagine other lives). It's too much trouble and energy to try to put on a fake persona when merely dealing with the social situation as-is already takes all my energy, and I don't have...

I don't usually blog until something irritating happens to talk about. I've been content lately. "Happy" is probably even the right word. Not ecstatically joyful, that just wouldn't be me. Not without down moments either. But largely satisfied and relaxed. Have I solved any of my problems? At...

Wow, you're not even 30? I'd assumed from all the things you've talked about doing and achieving in your life that you were in your 40s (career and marriage and owning a house and a lot of land and pets and all). I didn't even start trying to live until 29. 29 was the oldest I've ever felt...

Google says "the time it takes for the skin to tighten after weight loss normally ranges from several months to two years, depending on how much weight you have lost" so hopefully it's just a matter of time... you're young so that should help. Congrats on the weight loss! Few of us have perfect...

I had an experience Friday that would've worked out better if I were still too socially anxious to rely on talking to people to solve things. I went to the Sacramento River Cats game, and as usual used light rail for half of it to save on parking, gas, and the annoyance of driving. I planned to...

Spring. It's a time of rebirth, relaunch, hope, the world flowering, people flowering as they get their years rolling. It's an awkward time when you're a square wheel and you hit a few bumps and finally get stuck in the grille of the storm drain. I got back to softball and played three games...

I wonder what happened to you. Hope all is well if you come back in 40 years and see this.

It's 27 F right now, and as a Californian I can't take much more of this (and won't have to).

After 3 years, I finally made a dentist appointment! I made the call about 6 months ago but they weren't there, this time I caught them in the office and was able to schedule for March 1st. Now to wait for the inevitable fillings and hopefully nothing worse... The hike meetups have been getting...

And you'd think it'd save them money to let us sign up online instead of paying receptionists to put us through torture. 20 years ago I really thought phoning for appointments would be a thing of the past by now. I've been putting off a dentist appointment for years that I would've made if I...

This has been one of my most boring months in memory. I know that's quite a luxury to be able to complain about, but unfortunately the human brain is designed to adapt to resent whatever situation it may find itself in. There's been a few meetup hikes, nothing particularly interesting about...

My Moderna booster left me feeling just as crappy as the last two shots, but at least it subsides slightly quicker each time. About 24 hours this time (after an onset delay of only ~12 hours). 'Tis annoying that it'll probably only help much for a couple months. This month has been so cold...

One dropped out the day before, four a**holes no showed without a word, and one texted that he'd be 45 minutes late. So, having wasted $6 of gas and a couple hours of my day, I went home. Closed the group. The one thing I learned organizing it from 2014 to 2021 is that most people with social...

Social anxiety almost got me free pizza today. There was a knock, I panicked for a few moments, by the time I got to the door there was nothing visible through the peephole so I figured the evil children were back. But I decided to look out the kitchen window, where I could just see a delivery...

Just finished an audio drama adaptation of it:

Upon realizing she was dead, I grew calmer. There was no longer any threat of confrontation. I wouldn't have to kick someone out, I wouldn't have to make small talk like if it'd turned out to be a fellow employee. I walked over. I stood over the body. I looked into her wide open eyes, and I...

It's a small, bare, cold room. There's a metal chair, a tray next to it with instruments. An intravenous drip has been wheeled in and placed next to the chair, and the room smells of chemicals. The only sound at this moment is the soft hum of the air conditioning, and I let out a soft laugh to...

I experience/seek/suffer none of the things depicted in the film... yet I'm still not happy either, heh.