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It's a small, bare, cold room. There's a metal chair, a tray next to it with instruments. An intravenous drip has been wheeled in and placed next to the chair, and the room smells of chemicals. The only sound at this moment is the soft hum of the air conditioning, and I let out a soft laugh to...

I experience/seek/suffer none of the things depicted in the film... yet I'm still not happy either, heh.

I've been trying to parse the significance of the trip. I think the most important thing was establishing a sense of connection. In several ways. I met an online friend of 11 years for the first time, likely also the last time but it's great to know what somebody is like in person and verify...

Back from my trip! Whew. Ended up driving 1150 miles home in one day on Monday, I'd planned to split that into two days but being trapped in my car for 15 hours waiting out a snowstorm didn't appeal too much so I decided I'd keep going as long as I felt alert and the road wasn't snowed over...

Even if 99.9% of people don't like you, there's the other 0.1% to work on finding. Being a social outcast won't matter if you can make a couple really good friends, and there's no time limit on finding them. I've spent almost all of my life alone, but there were those brief moments when I...

My ~2300 mile driving trip that I thought was canceled in April has been back on for early October for a while. As it creeps closer, it becomes more terrifying. Meh. I have two main worries: car trouble hundreds of miles from the nearest town or cell signal, and not getting any sleep for a week...

The questions on the Liebowitz scale mostly seem like they're directed at a different species from me, so I could get wildly different scores depending what values I plug in. Am I anxious using a telephone in public? Not particularly, but I refuse to use them in private. Do I avoid eating in...

Jobs that want people to be blazing fast repetitive machines are the worst. I had a couple of those briefly long ago, hated the constant pressure to speed up. So you're not particularly fast at repetitive tasks. That's really nothing to be ashamed of, it's not like being let go for not being...

I've been thinking for the past 18 months how hellish it must be to have allergies that cause a cough in these times. I hope they don't make you get tested for every cough separately... unless you get paid and they aren't allowed to fire you for a medical issue but they never let you work, which...

One way or another, nature wants us dead. I'm thankful to live in one of the rare places that's immune to all natural disasters but fire (no hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, large hail, blizzards, earthquakes, etc here) but that's becoming a pretty big "but" in recent years.

Everything is on fire. The air quality index is around 400 now, topped 600 yesterday. Tens of thousands of people have evacuated and their temporary shelters and camps are all around now. The evacuation warning zone is 4 miles east of me. Three of my favorite trails were just obliterated. The...

I like to read the news every day. I'd never watch news, haven't in decades. Talking heads don't add anything useful, it's a much less efficient medium for consuming or retaining information, and it's much harder to control what you consume or compare opposing viewpoints or separate the facts...

From what I've read, social phobia affects more young (teens-20s) and old (65+) people than it does middle aged people. Yet here I am.

Welcome back! To help your process of elimination, I can tell you that I am not Jack.

High 100 low 75. Lighter smoke than usual, it's a dull sunshine like I'm in the outer solar system or something. I'd give a lot for a chance of rain.

I'm back into a sort of social routine with my game nights and softball. What I like about routines is that there's less anxiety. What I hate about routines is, once your mind decides something is routine it blends into the background and you no longer give yourself credit for it and it no...

I think often the problem is trying to control things that shouldn't be up to you. He's the one who should decide if your various issues are a problem for him. Your role should be to be open with him, express how you feel, be glad to make him feel good via the compliment, and be ready to accept...

Speaking as a white middle aged straight male, I think it's absurdly sad if the things that made you feel good about yourself were the color of your skin and your ability to date women 20 years younger than you without feeling judged. There's absolutely zero opposition to or attacks on white...

Survived another birthday! I was kind of depressed about getting older for a couple weeks before it, but got better once it arrived. 'Twas yet another year of making less money (to the point it feels like a lie every time I say I'm employed) and being single and not making any new friends, but...

The baseball game was fun. Then had a great afternoon with my old friend. But then the next day was miserable. I've noticed it almost always works like that: if I have a really nice day, then the next day is a bad one (whereas if I don't have a nice day, both days are boringly neutral)...