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Pretty chilled out, actually. All my errands and chores for the weekend are completed. I have a bit of quiet time to myself right now. I've got some mellow fucking meditative music playing and there's a cool breeze coming in through the window. I really can't be bothered at this moment.

In my experience, the existential angst of doing nothing, of not putting good effort into life, inevitably became unbearable; I decided recently that the only way I'm ever going to be happy is if I face and defeat my fears, to push through them. It's a work in progress. I'm of the belief that we...

Thanks man. I had a moment of darkness tonight when I realized that even being real would be a fucking challenge itself, just like everything else, but I'm over it. Will keep you apprised of the situation. (y)

Well I think there is a fine line between being an asshole and not being one, when trying to be "real." The problem is, I feel like shit most of the time, and don't really feel like engaging people. It's much harder to be real in this case without being an asshole. And I don't want to be an...

Being real is easier said than done.

In my case, literally every time I've seen your avatar from the time since I first started coming here. :LOL:

See, I really am dumb. LOL

Wasn't your last avatar from Memento?

Btw, Hound is cool. May Guy Pearce rest in peace.

Thank you guys. I really appreciate the support. Thing is, I wasn't even depressed when I wrote that. I am not depressed now. I am just sick. Sick of myself and my excuses as to why I am a failure in life. I see this new paradigm of thought as a liberation actually. If I'm actually a dumb...

:/

Self-Acceptance Part II I am a dumb motherfucker. How do I know this? If I were really that smart (as I've tried to convince myself that I am), I wouldn't be in the myriad bad situations I currently find myself or perceive myself to be in. I would have figured out the fucking solution(s) to my...

I love the smell of freshly fallen rain and wet grass/pavement.

There's a thought that has been on my mind lately: Tough times don't last. Tough people do. Get after it.

My social anxiety peaked today. My anxiety stems from my self-perception that I am a loser. It's not even a self-perception; I know I am a loser. I don't feel like I have any right to say anything with conviction to others because I have achieved jack shit in my life. That my opinions and ideas...

Sunday night... the most depressing night of the week. Wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to deal with anyone for the next five days.

Quick update to no one in particular. Guess this thread has become a journal of sorts. I've been on CBD oil for a couple of weeks. 35/mg a day. It seems to make me care less about what people think of me. I've also been drinking coffee regularly. Despite what I may have said or believed before...

The more we wait, the more disappointment we shall receive. In other news, I'm pooped.