Physical Looks

Last time I wrote a whole essay on this because it really got to me, but this time I'll try to make it short. I'm writing again, because I'm starting to feel it again.

Okay, this sounds kind of insignificant but it still bothers me; can any of you relate?: Do any of you get tired of people sometimes looking at you, staring you up and down, talking about how you look, your hair clothes etc, the attention you get because of your looks, or how people treat you because of your looks? There's a lot of things in life that are more important to me than this, trust me, but I hate the attention- day in and day out, week after week. If any of you can relate, great. People think I party/drink/do drugs, slut around, most girls look at me/ treat me not nice until they get to know me, most guys treat me the way they do/ say the things they do because of how I look. It gets to me because it's all so superficial. I've suppressed my feelings for a long time but sometimes I start to feel suffocated and I just need to vent.

On a normal okay bad day I'm 2-4, on a "I take care of myself day," I'm 5-6.5. lol Lots and lots of girls at work dress up way more than I do, like they work at New York Stock Exchange or something, but gawd forbid I wear something slightly different, people will talk! Sigh there is just more to talk about or life than the way someone looks. I hardly talk about someone's looks unless it stands out to me, and if I do, I do it sparingly. But I know everyone's different, some people like attention, some people don't care, and other people like me get bothered.

Thanks for reading.

It's hard to know how to comment without really knowing what you look like, how you dress. But I know what you mean when you say that appearance is superficial - however, the way we look and the way we present ourselves does influence the first impression that people often make about us. It's unavoidable.

Whatever you fundamentally look like, I think presenting yourself in the best possible way is important. By that, I mean good, basic personal hygiene. If someone has body odour, dirty clothes or looks like they don't give a shit about themselves, then no matter how wonderful their personality is, you're not going to want to go near them are you?

However, if you're talking about fashion and "tribal" culture then that's something else entirely.

I've been through many different fashion scenes over the years and, yes, how I've looked has influenced how people saw me and treated me. At school, I was considered something of a freak because I wore my hair so high. A few years later I dyed it blonde and wore eyeliner, so people automatically assumed I was gay. I went through a gothic phase and wore leather trousers and velvet shirts with beads. People thought I must have been miserable or weird. I was still fundamentally the same person beneath each of those looks, but people did respond differently. I think it's in people's natures to do so.

But, that said, I'm guilty of it too! I think we all are, to some degree.

I'm too obsessed with looks. I want all the attention, well the positive attention. I have the exteme desire to always be different from every single other person. I feel like If I didn't look this bad, things wouldn't be this bad. Some people may not like the attention they get from being pretty, but it is A LOT worse being ugly. I'm not saying you are one of those people. It bothers me soooo much. I can't stop thinking about it. Right now I've pretty much given up on trying to look good, because I know I can't. I wish I looked good...UgH.

I'm wondering now what kind of place you live in (city, small town?) and what kind of things you wear. I get the idea that you dress like the people around you and are considered a slut because of it, but I'm not sure that makes much sense. I also gather that girls like the way you dress but not the way you really are. Maybe you should try dressing the way you feel, even if that makes you stand out. Plan what to say if someone comments or stares. "This is who I am" type of thing. Or just ignore them. When someone likes the way you look, you'll know that's a person you want around you.

SA is pretty good at making us paranoid. It's pretty common to feel like everyone is staring at you and negatively judging you, but in reality that's rarely the case.

Judging from what you said though, if people honestly see you as trashy/slutty, I'm curious to know what you wear? If you go around wearing mini skirts and spaghetti straps and you don't like the attention your getting, there's an easy solution to that. Skorts and a turtleneck

Hehe I couldn't help but chuckle when I read all the replies because, lol, now even people on this SA board think I dress like a slut lol. I usually wear any where from casual clothes, to decent/nice casual, to gym type clothes. I don't dress outlandish. Think Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, Drew Barrymore but I cannot afford their clothes. I also live in a very metropolitan city. I don't know.. I am just saying I do not like attention; sometimes I just like being a loner or with just one other person just so people don't say anything to me. When people say anything to me or when it's compliments I act nice, but I get uncomfortable because it's the same thing over and over again. I'm not saying people say things to me all the time, it's just I get something said every day practically. I am far from conceited or hot looking, just average. Because then I could come across as conceited too lol. I chopped off all my hair because it just got too much attention I couldn't take it, and I was only wearing a bob. I'll wear pants covering heels and a top at work and I get talked about geez. It's like all these other women around me wear four inch stilettos why people talking about me. There are girls checking me out, a lesbian I don't care about- and a straight girl: it's annoying. My pet peeve is when people look me up and down. Most guys I get talking to infuse sexual stuff in the conversation the only guys that don't talk to me like this are church guys married guys and dorky guys (no offense to that term because I like dorky guys too). I do not have the words "I want to f you spray painted on my face either." I do not know what kind of air I'm giving off, I'm just friendly. Unfortunately most of my friends are gays because I have too many problems with straight guys and once I sense that they wanna "get some," I run like the wind. Guys either think I like them and they avoid me or they end up liking me. Guys always wanna "hang out" at my place or their place too for some reason- is it because they wanna just hang out or they wanna get some I can't tell. I don't know how I'm ever gonna meet anyone when I always feel the way I do. I've chopped so much hair off so that I am not seen as feminine to guys anymore, and so I can stop hearing their dumb sexual comments or how they think I sleep around town. This could be all in my head, but I hardly write like this unless it really bothers me.

Sigh, I know there's more important stuff in this world than this but thanks for reading.

I'm also very very obsessive about my looks.
I try to dress the best I can. I train to be as physically fit and athletic I can be. I have impeccable hygiene and always smell good.

Too bad I don't always have the confidence to go with all that....But yea, I over obsess over my looks and how I look...way too much.

lilcharlie said:

Hehe I couldn't help but chuckle when I read all the replies because, lol, now even people on this SA board think I dress like a slut lol. I usually wear any where from casual clothes, to decent/nice casual, to gym type clothes. I don't dress outlandish. Think Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, Drew Barrymore but I cannot afford their clothes. I also live in a very metropolitan city. I don't know.. I am just saying I do not like attention; sometimes I just like being a loner or with just one other person just so people don't say anything to me. When people say anything to me or when it's compliments I act nice, but I get uncomfortable because it's the same thing over and over again. I'm not saying people say things to me all the time, it's just I get something said every day practically. I am far from conceited or hot looking, just average. Because then I could come across as conceited too lol. I chopped off all my hair because it just got too much attention I couldn't take it, and I was only wearing a bob. I'll wear pants covering heels and a top at work and I get talked about geez. It's like all these other women around me wear four inch stilettos why people talking about me. There are girls checking me out, a lesbian I don't care about- and a straight girl: it's annoying. My pet peeve is when people look me up and down. Most guys I get talking to infuse sexual stuff in the conversation the only guys that don't talk to me like this are church guys married guys and dorky guys (no offense to that term because I like dorky guys too). I do not have the words "I want to f you spray painted on my face either." I do not know what kind of air I'm giving off, I'm just friendly. Unfortunately most of my friends are gays because I have too many problems with straight guys and once I sense that they wanna "get some," I run like the wind. Guys either think I like them and they avoid me or they end up liking me. Guys always wanna "hang out" at my place or their place too for some reason- is it because they wanna just hang out or they wanna get some I can't tell. I don't know how I'm ever gonna meet anyone when I always feel the way I do. I've chopped so much hair off so that I am not seen as feminine to guys anymore, and so I can stop hearing their dumb sexual comments or how they think I sleep around town. This could be all in my head, but I hardly write like this unless it really bothers me.

Sigh, I know there's more important stuff in this world than this but thanks for reading.

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I don't know why people talks negative about others cloth?...I never been used to it before I went to highschool and from others who came from other schools to my old school (but they normally stoped, when they got at my school, because no one wanted to talk about other people like that ha ha...SO they had to change;P)...but I've heard about this from every where ells:s... I do not either talk about that kind of stuff like you do...unless I praise someone for their outfit;D... And when people talk about it like "She's got no stile" "look at her emo-style ew" "did you knew that she wears used cloth!?" or something I just tell them "and so what? He/she could be a nice guy/girl anyway? what is wrong with used cloth? And the emostyle if she/he thinks it's pretty and it really can't bother anyone?"... And when people just look horrible or unwashed I will just say that it's sad and nothing more and feel sorry for them...I don't like to gossiping about other peoples looks in a negatively way because how would you feel if that was you and other people were talking and completely evaluating yoour cloth that you maybe fancy/like a lot yourself? Wouldn't you became a little sad? And mostly if it's people who aren't even your friends? ... I think that the people at your place is horrible (like many others), when they talk about you like a slut in your presence...unless you have done something bitchy against them which I can't imagine that you have - you sound as a nice girl, victim for ugly girls whose life is about brands, cloth, gossip, popularity and fakeness...if you know what I mean?
Someone who knows what politely and kindness mean wouldn't do that to anyone...well maybe they do...BUT they diffinently don't deserve your companionship...And the boys you are talking about sounds as normal boys who just aren't fit to talk to a girl... I have gladely only one-two like that in my class who can be very annoying with their smart-ass attitude, stupid-sex-jokes and irritating behavior against all the girls...

I also am highly aware of my look, want to look the best I can...in a normal way and not to overacted way LIKE some I know!;D... But I can't afford so much cloth because I don't have a job... I would really like to have one, but I just don't dare...I could do many jobs but I just don't dare to take the first step towards it...but of course I will get something when my education is finished... And sometimes when I brought something it can take several months before I dare wearing it ha ha!xD...

God! This became quite long sorry!;D

I had a really weird experience yesterday. I was sitting in the train traveling home. I am used to people looking at me with disgust or puzzlement (not extremely ugly, just weird and you can't put your finger on it why, or at least I can). But this time, just as I was stepping out aboy followed me and just stood in the opening, mouth wide open, gazing at me. I looked around a few times and he kept on looking at me like I was some kind of freak, until he got backinto the train as it was about to depart.
On my way home I kept obsessing about why that had been. I usually do. But it was very weird.