Online Dating

Has anyone here tried online dating. I have a profile on a site and have had some people send me messages. I responded to the messages but now they want to meet. I would like to meet them but my SA is kicking in, I am getting ultra nervous just thinking about it. I can say that I will meet them at a certain time in a coffee shop or somewhere but knowing me I chicken out at the last minute.
Has anyone ever met someone who they got to know online and how did they go about overcoming their SA to do so.

i have posted to online dating sites, never had a hit on them yet..
what a waste of money...

I met someone who I had dated online, and it was fine. Except he kept telling me to look at him, which I didn't want to do. Eye contact is not good. He also wanted to keep hugging and touching me, which I hate. So I guess it'd be better if I only date online.

Crimefish said:

I met someone who I had dated online, and it was fine. Except he kept telling me to look at him, which I didn't want to do. Eye contact is not good. He also wanted to keep hugging and touching me, which I hate. So I guess it'd be better if I only date online.

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Yep been there done that.same probs as you.she even told me that i was a bit aloof.it didn't work,cause i blew every little negative thing out of proportion.it's a shame as i really did like her.i hope i can get over this sa,learn to make eye contact and stop being so bloody self concious and negative.

i have n it's been brilliant think also it's helped me a lot the expierience in general the only forewarning i would give tho is spend as much time as you need online to get comfortable with them first , i refused to meet the girl i dated online for quite some time and explained to her why and she was very understanding , been over a year now n i'm still going out with her n we meet frequently with no phobic effects of course the initial meeting was rather daunting but to lesser degree it is with normal people n i guess you can't expect any less , if they're really interested in who you are i'm sure they'll wait the wait ... who knows , find out ...

I know the feeling Cody. I am also meeting someone I met online.
MY heart is racing just talking about it.

But hey look, You might feel uncomfortable, but just go for it. Maybe he will be nervous to?

I havent done online dating, I've had two girlfreinds I met online but wasnt looking for anyone, it just happened.

I've never been the sort to seek out girlfreinds, usually they make the first move or suggest taking a freindship further.

I've been someone online, but we were too far apart so it din't work out. It does work though.

Crimefish said:

Eye contact is not good. He also wanted to keep hugging and touching me, which I hate.

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I'm curious why this is? Do other people with SA feel this way too? I'm sorry if I'm prying, I'm just curious.

Myself I love affection, I think being void of human contact for along time in the past has made me long for physical contact and affection. Even if it's not intimate it still makes me feel fuzzy.

Maybe it's just based on the person.

RoboLobster said:

I'm curious why this is? Do other people with SA feel this way too? I'm sorry if I'm prying, I'm just curious.

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I don't know. I just hate to see people looking at me. I like affection, but I hate physical contact. Any affection has to be expressed verbally.
Maybe I have Asperger's Syndrome. *shrugs*

I dont like to be touched either but I'm learning to accept it more and trying harder to be 'huggy' with people.

Its working better than I thought, though still difficult with guys

Remus, what do you mean it is still difficult with guys, aren't you a guy.. in the earlier post you said you had girlfriends.

yup I'm a guy.

I am an abuse survivor and find intimacy (even hugging) difficult, especially with men.

I have problems trusting and forming freindships with men as I find them sexually intimidating, I think hugging is helping me overcome that.

I also find it hard to accept affection.I love to,but I think that sa trys to keep us at a distance.i think that this is due to the fact that we can only see the negative things from past experience and expect the worst from the current,so we don't want to get too close incase we get hurt.but by being a bit distant or aloof,we are setting ourselves up for rejection and hurt anyway.i also tend to think that i ain't good enough for the girl,not smart enough,not interesting enough,not enough friends,no good at chat.eye contect is another problem,i can't keep good eye contact with most people,unless i know them well.i'd say that most people would see me as being stuck up and uninterested in talking to them,when in fact inside i'd love to talk and be friendly.but sa stops me from opening up and i remain quiet and never open up,all the anxiety leaves me with no recolection of things to talk about.so until i can get over these problems,i would need to meet someone really understanding of my situation.this is one of the most reasons i'm determined to give overcomming sa my best shot,as i would love to have a normal equal relationship.i have discovered that sex is fine,but it's ten times better with love.