Non-linear interaction v.s linear interaction

myheartisastone

Well-known member
Non-linear interaction v.s linear interaction

This is something that i've been thinking about for a while. I don't know if this is only me, but I find that I am less anxious in linear interactions where I know what the outcome is going to be. For example:

Going to a store - Linear

I have no problems going to a store. Or walking into subway and ordering something. I can freely go out to places without usually feeling anxious. This is, because I know what the outcome is going to be:

1. go to store
2. pick out item.
3. bring item to cashier
4. pay for item.
5. grab items and leave

It's almost like a script.

In a non-linear interaction where there are multiple possibilities, I find myself being 10x more anxious because I don't know what the outcome is going to be, and there is no "script" for that. I don't know how to act or what to do.
For example:

Non-linear situations
- parties
- interviews
- social gatherings (like at work)
- working with classmates

I consider non-linear situations "less safe". Because there are more possibilites for how these interactions can/will end. Anything can happen and my mind tells me that mostly what is going to happen is going to be more bad than good. And if I don't know what is going to happen, how do I know it's safe? I don't.

As you can imagine, this basically sucks any possible fun out of any situation which is non-linear and makes it into one big anxious mess.

Anyone else have these same thoughts?
 
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Definitely not just you. I was thinking of this exact same thing this past week. I wasn't thinking of the specific terms you used, but about how it's easy for me to do most everyday things involving errands and such because I know the outcome. There is a very small chance that something is going to go wrong while I'm shopping, depositing a check, etc. It doesn't involve others' personalities, motivations, good conversation skills, etc.

You mentioned being more afraid of the "non-linear" situations, but how afraid are you? Just uncomfortable or do you get really bad anxiety - heart pounding, sweating, etc? Just curious. Personally I can handle those situations while only feeling a bit uncomfortable. It's the more serious stuff - like confronting someone, rejecting someone, standing up for myself - that really get my anxiety going.
 

myheartisastone

Well-known member
Glad to know it's not just me.

You mentioned being more afraid of the "non-linear" situations, but how afraid are you? Just uncomfortable or do you get really bad anxiety - heart pounding, sweating, etc? Just curious. Personally I can handle those situations while only feeling a bit uncomfortable. It's the more serious stuff - like confronting someone, rejecting someone, standing up for myself - that really get my anxiety going.

It depends on the level of interaction.

For example, I rarely stand up for myself because that just invites anxiety. When I try, I am very very anxious doing it.

Depending on the level of social interaction, it can very from okay - uncomfortable - very anxious. Rarely do I sweat, unless it's a high-level pressure anxiety such an interview, such as my last one.

I was interviewed by *3*! people. At once. I was so nervous I forgot what I was going to say and my mind blanked out mid interview. Luckily I had my wits about me and recovered, but I thought for sure I had made a really bad impression and thought for sure they weren't going to hire me.

But they did.

I still get super nervous while speaking in groups ... I avoid public speaking. Because I think I would probably pass out. lol
 

Odo

Banned
I'm similar to this.

As long as I don't run into any surprises in a day, I'm pretty much fine... I can keep my head down and not really interact with anyone... I can even give presentations in front of people somewhat easily as long as I know what I'm going to do and say and have control, but I can't handle bumping into people I know in public because I won't know what to say or do. Being prepared is always important and I think ever since I was very young I would need to know exactly what was going to happen before I went somewhere.

Interviews can go badly but at least they're just one on one... that tends to make it at least a little bit easier because at least I don't have to compete for the person's attention.
 

myheartisastone

Well-known member
When most people hear the word "party" they think "fun".

When I hear the word party, I think "No".

... (unless it's a party for someone I know really well/feel comfortable being around/like a friend or family member or whatever.)
 

Lea

Banned
Good post, I definitely have this problem. Though I think I am quite ok with interviews, as long as it is one to one conversation. Sometimes I am very nervous, sometimes not at all, it depends.. I am especially shy if I have something to hide or have to lie, or if I am applying for a job which I know I am not suitable for.
 

laure15

Well-known member
I never thought of it this way. Linear interactions are more predictable for me because I can accurately predict the outcome 99.999% of the time so I feel more comfortable doing them. It's almost a no brainer. But I struggle with non-linear interactions. There's more impromptu speaking/socializing going on which I'm not good at doing. Plus social interactions that affect other people's lives make me nervous. For example if I have to reject someone, I get anxious that their feelings will be hurt and they will hate me for it. I have no control over how other people feel, how their lives will be affected, etc. It's like a domino effect. Participating in social interactions means participating in the domino effect, which I try to avoid.
 
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