More poems...

The non-rhyming kind though lol. But these were entirely about feelings, I didn't care at all about how they sounded... I wrote them about my time at school... They're really not very good at all, but it was a way to express myself, so:

The Corridor

Walking down the dreary, sickly green corridor
To the library.
Fluorescent lights flickering in time with my steps.
A group of boys
Walk past.
They look at each other then laugh with cruel,
Snarling faces.
One of them
Flings himself
Against the sickly green wall, merging his intent with the vileness of the colour.
Screams!
“Arrrggh
IT’S going to
Eat me!
Save me!”
They continue laughing, stare back at me with their hate filled eyes.
So full
Of hate that they eat away at me.

I show no sign that I have seen them, heard their words.
Another piece of
Me crawls deeper into the pit of self loathing.
Only waiting
For the
Day that someone will look at me and not
Laugh at me,
Stare at me
Hate me.
Everyday I have remarks thrown at me, hitting me, cutting right into my soul.
Deep,
Deep
And deeper still.
Through me
Killing
The last tiny particles of self confidence, self respect
Self worth
Vanishing, into my pit of self hatred.
I hate, loathe and detest being me.

____________________________

This next one is one of my most personal poems, so please don't comment unless you really, really have to.

My Mind Works Against Me

School playground,
A circle of friends.
Me on the outside looking in.
Too nervous to step away from the edge and move inwards,
Scared I should be a fool.
‘Girl talk’
“Who do you like?”
Too scared to answer truthfully.
Can only imagine them saying:
“You don’t have a right to ‘like’ anyone.
Someone as fat and ugly as you shouldn’t.
It’s just not right!
Besides, who could ever like you?”
Then descending into fits of laughter.
Cruel sounding, like hyenas.
Or.
What if he should find out?
Then what?
I’d be a laughing stock again,
For daring to admit I have feelings like any normal girl.
So I just utter "no one."
Feel guilty
For lying.
Wish they could see.
My mind works against me.


On the bus.
Feels like they’re all staring.
Every laugh, directed against me.
Can’t bare to look at anything but the floor, or the window.
Feels more and more uncomfortable.
Stomach knots.
Another laugh.
I know it’s just some friends joking.
And nothing to do with me.
But I can’t help but feel pain, like they are
Looking at me, and talking about me.
It’s just not fair.
To feel like this all of the time.
Continually being judged adversely.
I just cant stand these feelings.
But.
I know it’s not like that.
People
Have better things to talk about
To laugh at, than a boring, stupid nobody like me. Who cares?
I'm not worth talking about!
Feel stupid.
Paranoid.
But I wish they could see,
My mind works against me.


So I pull away from my friends.
They hardly speak to me anyway.
Well,
What’s the point in talking to
A freak who’s too scared to speak
Most of the time?
I
Sit on the bench on my own.
Idiot boys come to torment me.
“Will you go out with my mate?
He really likes you.”
Yeah right!
I really believe that!
I know they’re just trying to be cruel again.
So I ignore them.
Climb deeper into my shell.
Blink back tears.
I hate myself.
They leave,
Realising I’m not going to fall for it.
I count down the hours,
The minutes,
The seconds
Until school’s over.
‘Til I can go home.
Be safe.
Where my mind doesn’t work against me
As much.


Stop going out.
Stay where it’s safe.
I wish
My mind wasn't this way.
Now it’s the only place
I have friends,
I explore the world.
The only place I live.
All because
My mind works against me.

____________

And one more. (Not about school this time though, I wrote it a few months ago at 5am when I was unable to sleep.) This one rhymes though lol.

Insomnia

Can't sleep
Though I want to.
Knee deep in despair.
Why won't my dreams rescue me
From my waking nightmare?

Head aches,
Eyes are stinging.
No break
For my brain
Problems rushing through my mind
Over, over again.

Sleep please
Come refresh me.
Sleep please
I implore.
Please end my wakefulness soon
With a small, gentle snore.

Finally
In early morning
Came to me
That which I craved:
The slumber that I had hoped for
My sanity at last was saved.

(I added the last verse upon waking lol)

I love "My mind works against me". It's amazing how you managed to write down your innermost thoughts like that, and in such a clear way. It's exactly how I feel when I'm around a group of people. Your last poem inspired me to try writing something of my own last night, but it was terrible. I really wish I was able to write like you! Keep up the incredible work.

Thank you so very, very much.

Wow, I inspired someone! 8O lol. I'm sure yours wasn't as terrible as you think. (I happen to think mine are terrible, but I guess it's for others to decide...) I'd love to read it if you wanted to post it.

lol thanks! Mine really turned out bad. A couple hours after, I ended up with something and I have no idea what it means. It's not even about SP or thoughts or anything..
I think I'll just leave the writing to people that are good at it.

I think everyone can write at least one good thing during their lives. Most people could write many good things. Keep trying, it doesn't need to be good to be of benefit to you, just the act of writing can be very thereputic.

The last tiny particles of self confidence, self respect
Self worth
Vanishing, into my pit of self hatred.
I hate, loathe and detest being me.

I felt this today! Good work Starry

HUgs* Thelema, I'm really sorry you feel that way.

Thank you.

Hello, Starry!!!, i read some of your poems!.
I can see that you write very well.
I understand your writing about your emotions, feelings, etc.
I use to write poems about my feelings too, and that way, i feel a little better, because i let them out of my heart.
See you!!! :wink: