Mood swings

I think my depression is back. I thought I had managed to get rid of it, that it was more a symptom of my SA rather than a condition of its own, but now I'm not so sure. Lately, especially in the last couple of weeks, I have been feeling absoloutely terrible about myself. I despise myself almost all of the time. I have also been having these really drastic mood swings. They're really bad. One minute I'm feeling ok, and then something really minor bothers me, and before I know it I've retreated into my room, either in a horrible rage, or in tears. Tonight my legs bear the bruises from when I couldn't gift wrap a tin of chocolates earlier. Right now I'm feeling deeply depressed, as though there's someone standing on my chest. It doesn't feel physically hard to breathe or anything, it just feels like there's this weight on me.
I'm once again obsessed with the numbers on the bathroom scales. When I eat I feel like a failure. When I don't I feel like I'm betraying myself and my family. I just want to disappear.

I'm not really expecting any advice or anything in posting this. I just wanted to get it off my chest. I am not going to the doctor about this. I refuse to lose another year of my life to disgusting anti-depressents, sleeping tablets and more appointments with that useless councellor.

hey I understand exactly what youre saying....


I have overcome the anxiety part which is so great and im so thankful for that because going thru it, seemed impossible to overcome.

But as i was experiencing anxiety i NEVER would have thought I would have just depression by itself after...

You said something about it being just a seperate problem...so how do you know that?

Reason for asking is cause I feel like this depression is so seperate, like its feels seperate, but i think the reason why i have it is due to the anxiety, and time spent limiting myself. And its like now im able to fully live life and I saw how small and limited my life became and thats really depressing.

Well i dont have much advice, sorry. I am going thru the same. The only thing is just to try to enjoy things as much as you can. That helps a little. Good luck to you!

pinkputter said:

You said something about it being just a seperate problem...so how do you know that?

Click to expand...

I don't know, except that right now I am not in a situation to be particularly socially anxious. That is, I don't have a job, or any friends, and I never ever go out. It's just that I feel down, and angry and irritated all the time, with no apparent reason. My self esteem is through the floor. I feel like crap, and I can't seem to dig myself out of it.

hey,
i don't know what the exact problem you got , and i don't know the reason, but what you need to do is that you need to go out to meet friends and breath the fresh air as you said, it's meaningless for you to stay inside just be sad without knowing the reasons. you got the birth fro m your mother in order to do something useful and happy in the world , is that right? what useful things did you do until now? when do you feel happy? you can think about these, maybe you can feel a little better .